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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that in 2012 there are women who iron their dh shirts?

202 replies

SmileyPenguin · 21/12/2012 17:50

Chatting with some other mums this afternoon it emerged that two of them iron their dh shirts. Not as s favour as they were ironing some of their own shirts, but because their dh expects it! Confused

I admit, I seldom iron my own clothes, I choose ones that don't need ironing, or if its a shirt I'll do it for myself, I'd do dcs when they're older, but no way dh, he can and does do his own, he wears a shirt everyday so has a few...

Aibu to believe in this day and age men should be doing their own ironing and also their share of housework? do I live in a feminist bubble?

OP posts:
miffybun73 · 21/12/2012 21:21

It depends, if you're a SAHM (with 1 or 2 pre school children) and they work full time then I think that it's entirely reasonable.

If you are a mother of 4, 5, 6 or more then it's another story...

Hulababy · 21/12/2012 21:21

And definite round seem very odd and also rather petty to desperate washes into his and her piles, and only wash our own. Seems like a huge waste of water and power too as you'd have to do two of each wash each week. It's hardly a chore to throw a load in the machine surely? More of a chore to desperate I
Reckon.

Jingleallthejay · 21/12/2012 21:22

yabu of course you are some women and men like doing things for each other me I am allergic to ironing so i dont do it if i can help it, I dont know why you think it is drudgery and undermining to women ,

miffybun73 · 21/12/2012 21:22

"they" being the husband, not the children !

judefawley · 21/12/2012 21:26

I quite often iron dh's shirts, although he never expects it and is hugely grateful if I do.

I don't work 60% of the week, he works ft.

He usually does shed loads of ironing at the weekend, early in the morning whilst I am sleeping.

He does all of the cooking, shopping and most of the cleaning. He also puts washing on/drying in as often as I do.

I think it's a fair deal in my favour.

However, I have friends that do ironing as it's 'their' job and they have complete cavemen husbands that do sod all.

HSMM · 21/12/2012 21:27

My DH (ex army) is fab at ironing and insists I do not touch the iron (happy sigh). We just both do what we are best at.

threesocksfullofchocs · 21/12/2012 21:28

yabu and yanbu
I ron my dh's shirts and ds's
I do all the ironing as I do it best.
but they don't expect it.
I would rather dh cleaned the oven(which he does)

BendyBobsBrusselsSprouts · 21/12/2012 21:41

I don't iron my dh's shirts either.

I have a lovely ironing lady who does his and mineSmile.

But really who can muster the energy to care let alone be shocked about what everyone does with their laundry?Confused

Perriwinkle · 21/12/2012 22:43

The ironing of shirts I can cope with. Frankly I find it far more alarming that in 2012 there are women who make packed lunches for their DHs/DPs.

A woman I work with does full time hours, as does her DH, they have no kids and she still makes his sandwiches every day and does all the cooking, cleaning and shopping single handedly. Now that I find shocking.

Clary · 21/12/2012 22:52

I don't have a problem with it and I class myself as a feminist.

Like others here, I quite like ironing to crap telly and I also like all the ironing done and away.

DH prefers to leave it there until he needs to wear something which bugs me. So I tend to do the ironing. He does other stuff, y'know, that I also partake of. For instance, he tends to do a lot of the food shopping, even though I also eat the food!

I mow the lawn actually so maybe I am a 2012 woman after all!

OP I think if you rarely iron (because you don't like it!) then it is easy to see this as an issue where it isn't one.

Clary · 21/12/2012 22:53
LaQueen · 21/12/2012 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cerealqueen · 21/12/2012 22:56

I know people who iron their DP/DH's shirts because it is expected and they hate doing it but don't know how to say no... now that is unreasonable.

My DP does all his own ironing. i don't do any as I hate it and am bad at it. If he is running late, I'll do it. I did it once one evening when I knew he had a very early start and came down in the morning to see him ironing the shirt again, he hadn't even noticed I'd done it!!

LaQueen · 21/12/2012 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatdoiknowanyway · 21/12/2012 23:02

DH has always done our ironing. 25 years now. Is that a problem?

TENDTOprocrastinate · 21/12/2012 23:05

I used to iron dh's shirts. It pissed me off because I hate ironing (I'm better at it than him- so it just seemed to fall on me). We made a compromise - we pay someone else to do it!! £20 per month- money (very) well spent!

CailinDana · 21/12/2012 23:10

See? In spite of me saying that the machine never goes on without a full load there are still posts saying the water/electricity bills must be high because I don't do all the washing. It's so odd.

This is the thread I mentioned. It ran to 12 pages. Some of the responses are neutral or positive but the vast majority either imply I'm not a very good partner or go much further and imply my marriage is about to fall apart. This laundry thing comes up now and again and I always get the same responses, it's really interesting.

Floralnomad · 21/12/2012 23:16

I haven't read all of this but I do all the washing and ironing in this house ,always have and can't see why I wouldn't ,my husband works full time and I don't. FWIW I send most shirts and t shirts to the ironing lady and my husband works to pay for it.

Morloth · 21/12/2012 23:17

I iron DH's shirts in exchange for sex.Wink

Also he makes my coffee ready to go on weekdays and brings my tea in bed on weekends. A fair trade.

Tigerbomb · 21/12/2012 23:23

I hate ironing with a passion
I also hate cooking

Therefore I iron, my DH cooks

It works for us

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 21/12/2012 23:31

I hate ironing. I pay a lovely lady to do my ironing each week. I love her dearly.

Dp does the washing up, taking bins out and goes for the weekly shop (I pay half and he only gets what is on the list)

I do all the washing, polishing, tidying, brushing and mopping floors, bathroom cleaning, getting ds up and ready in the morning, picking ds up, preparing tea and bath time, putting ds to bed and then cook our tea. AND I work 30 hours over 4 days a week

Dp does do all the DIY, cutting grass, painting etc

MaryShoppins · 21/12/2012 23:32

How would you feel if your DH cooked for himself and your DCs - but not for you?

Bit mean of you to exclude him? He is part of your family right?

cantspel · 21/12/2012 23:33

I iron my husbands and 2 teen sons shirt plus do 95% of the housework, all the gardening and diy plus the car maintenance so according to the ops thinking i must be a downtrodden 1950's wife but i am far from it as i also have control of the families finances and make all the family decisions from where we are going on holiday to what colour towels we have in our bathroom.
But I find it very hard to muster up even the smallest bit of interest in how other couples divide their household chores.

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 21/12/2012 23:34

Morloth he would iron MY shirts in exchange for sex Wink

CailinDana · 21/12/2012 23:34

I'm not sure if that's directed at me Mary but if it is, then read the 12 page thread that I linked to, you'll get all the answers there. I don't want to derail this thread by hashing all that out again.