Should I really have to explain our financial situ to a teacher?

[bottleofbeer]

Ok so my 14 year old son is very hard on his shoes. About a week and a half ago he managed to rip the entire sole off his school shoe. Being completely honest at this time of year I just didn't have the funds to replace them immediately so I wrote a note in his planner explaining the situation and promised they'd be replaced by the time term starts in Jan. In the meantime I told him to wear his black trainers, so not wildly different from school shoes.

Last week he came home and told me he'd spent the entire day in isolation, where they're removed from lessons and they basically copy useless text all day (absolutely nothing to do with the curriculum) I already knew this because I got a phonecall from the office explaining that he was in isolation because of his shoes. I told them I wanted him taken from isolation because it's unfair to punish him over something beyond his control, that they know he struggles academically as it is and he can't afford to miss entire days.

Anyway, they didn't remove him from isolation. So we wrote a letter to the head of year outlining why he shouldn't be there and pointing out we had already explained the situation. He's not getting to school and slipping his shoes off in favour of his trainers and short of going barefoot he had no option. No reply.

Today I get a letter saying he'll be back in isolation unless I replace the shoes, and to phone the HOY to discuss this. I'm fuming, it has been explained to him three times now and frankly I don't see why I should have to phone him and tell him about the financial situation - again. I don't see that it's any of his business and a note from parents apologising and promising to recitfy it asap really should be enough. AIBU?

I think the whole point Cory is that they're punishing him. You can't punish a child with health problems that means she needs to be in isolation, therefore she doesn't miss out on the actual currriculum.

But because he's in breach of uniform policy they apparently can. I've recently been at sixth form meetings and they ram the point home repeatedly that missing just the odd day here and there can have a deterimental effect on their grades and just how easy it is to slip behind to a point it's almost impossible to catch up. They even had a 'failed' lower sixth student talk to us all about how he failed lower sixth despite amazing GCSE results because he didn't take it seriously enough.

Yes, that's A levels. But year 10 is the beginning of the GCSE course and if you don't get those you can forget about A levels anyway; so surely it's just as important now to not be missing days here and there for no good reason?

' know there is rules but a little common sense wouldn't go a miss'

amen

How ridiculous. I would definitely be having a 'friendly chat' with the HOY.

My DS goes through shoes like they are going out of fashion. Costs us an arm and a leg to replace them too because he has an exceptionally wide foot

Op I can sympathise with you about your DS's shoes. My boy got so bad with his I found a pair of black hiking boots for him to wear as school shoes until he grew out of them, they are the only shoes that he didn't manage to trash within 2 months. Unfortunatley I haven't been able to find any more in his size we're back to school shoes which will have to be relaced after Christmas.. Again... I am a dab hand with the superglue though!

Ohhh Jingle, get onto sports direct. You honestly cannot argue with their prices and they do loads of hiking type boots.

I'm going to get my head kicked in now I already have a pair here as a xmas present. They've got a bright lime green flash on them though so imo were even less suitable than the trainers. But in hindsight I should have got plain black that could have doubled as school shoes, especially knowing what he's like with them.

Naming of Parts

I am not attacking ops son for wearing out his shoes I perfectly understand how he can wear out his shoes - what I dont understand is people calling for her son to be punished for wearing out his shoes when shoes - .......wear out!!

I am comparing a 4 year old wearing out of shoes to show how easy it is - for a small light foot to wear out expensive shoes even - thats how crap the expensive shoes are - and how easy it is to wear out shoes let alone an older boy doing far much more./

I think shoes in general - even from clarkes are far too expensive with crap quality.

I am " sympathising with op"

As for army boots - no one at that point had suggested other forms of hard wearing foot wear - that is why I was wondering if op could some how customise the army boot - but on the other hand I was only joking anyway....

I just enjoyed the image of the ops son going to shcool with a hybrid shoe/boot and the school trying to decide if it was ok to wear - or whether he would need to go to guantanamo for it.

It is a good point that the kind of shoes the schools insist on are not very hard wearing at all.

A walk to school and back in all weathers, trudging round in them all day and they do wear out because they're not particularly desgined to be hardy.

These were beyond gluing - believe me many a pair of shoes in this house have been glued as a temporary measure, they'd have been a total hazard to him in the state they were in glued or not. The entire sole right to the heel was completely ripped off. He said he tripped and they caught on the pavement. He's a klutz, this doesn't not surprise me. He probably was playing footie in them though

I'm in Ireland. Ds1 has been wearing black runners for a month as he managed to destroy expensive shoes again. Dp picked up cheap black runners as he's about to go up a size and I couldn't justify spending ?50 on shoes to last a month. An added complication is he wears orthotic insoles and will need new ones for hos next size in shoes so I couldn't just buy a size bigger as he's in extreme pain without the orthotics. We're waiting for the appointment to have nee ones fitted and I'll buy nee shoes in the sales to have them there for when he fits them and has the orthotics fitted.

If the school caused a fuss they'd be told to go jump quite frankly!

Again

my rubber band suggestion was along the lines of - op cant afford shoes now - point blank - no point discussing it -

so op puts son in trainers - he gets isolated althugh i imagine they are smart as they can be and black and as op said barely noticeable - or

op could try and - put rubber bands round the old shoe..again what would the school prefer? they couldnt isolate him for wearing regulation shoes - just cobbled back together - with rubber bands..

ie - what would school prefer?

the anachist in me would prob send child to school in uglisest most riduculous version of the shoes....if thats what the shcool wants - under any circs - he must wear a regulation shoe....

Have you tried DM shoes? A friend whose son is very hard on his shoes managed to get a year out of them before he grew out of them. She got them from Tk Max so were reasonably priced.

I love TK maxx

My son's black Clarks' school shoes are identical in pretty much every way to his Sainsbury's trainers. I defy anyone to tell them apart.

Whilst I agree with school uniform rules, black trainers are, IMHO, a good substitute for school shoes for a short period and for a good reason.

Yes Valium! My daughter's been wearing a pair from there since Sept and they're still in good nick so I shall definitely try there!

This is highly unsual for her.

Have tried taking them to a cobbler? I'm sure they can repair / replace soles

Uniform is ridiculous waste of money.

Fluffeh's post made me really sad :(

Op yanbu imo

I find sole repair still costs at least £8 if whole sole has gone maybe more. If OP is skint she's skint.

Thanks bottle am having a good look now, OP sports direct is your friend by the looks of it, the prices are reasonable enough now so should be even better after Christmas!
Good job really, DS has just hit a size 6 so it looks like the end of child shoe prices for him...

Nope, they went in the bin.

They'd seen better days as it is, I'm not throwing money away on temporary repairs any more than I'd throw money away on temporary shoes.

YADNBU. Cannot believe so many posters have taken the side of the fascist school. Hope I can find my kids somewhere less mad when they are that age. I went to a comp with no uniform at all that's why I still can't iron a shirt , there is no need for it educationally, it's a school not an army.

bottle I am thick you are the OP! Sorry, feeding baby and not reading properly....

OP, yanbu. The school is. Here is what I would do. Firstly, Continue to complain to the school. If you are unhappy with the outcome, see if you can raise the issue with ofsted or the local media?
Secondly, please ignore the frankly horrible elitist views of some posters onnthis thread. Some fail to understand that £10 may as well be £1 million if you dn't have. To suggest a wonga loan or going without a Christmas dinner is delporable.
Thirdly, at 14, your DS is old enough to undertand your financial situation and perhaps can take special care with his new shoes or take on a paper round for example to help contribute to costs such as uniform.
Lastly, if shoes really don't survive on his feet, could he wear trainers to and from school and shoes when he is in class?

Another recommendations for DMs shoes long term, though that doesnt help now, but I worked in a kitchen on a greasy floor and they lasted the entire time. £50 shoes were lasting about a month.

Short term, as an arsey teenager, I would have walked round in socks while in school. "I dont have trainers on so therefore can stay in class. Fuck you establishment"

Sorry Eliza, I obviously misunderstood you.

Bottle, before having a go too much to DS about wearing shoes rather than trainers for football at breaks - is it actually possible to change? At my DCs school that sort of thing is nigh on impossible unless they actually carry the trainers with them at all times alongside all the other stuff they have to carry.

Office type shoes really arent suitable for the rough and tumble of school. Police or Air Cadet parade shoes really are the best thing if the school insists on something which can be polished. Dont pay more than around £25.

Most shoes cant really be repaired once major damage is done and TBH there are few repairers around. I live in a shoe trade county and cannot think of any repairers other than the usual Mr Minit type places.

YANBU - I can't believe all the harsh comments. School shoes are practically the same as black trainers anyway. You have explained to the school and making him miss lessons for something out of his and your control is totally out of order.