to think it's childish to wait outside?

[forbiddenfruit85]

Friend was early meeting me today for lunch, so instead of going inside the restaurant and getting a table and maybe ordering a drink she decided to wait outside in the cold for 15 minutes by herself.

I know quite a few people that would prefer to wait outside until one of their party comes. I find this a bit silly and childish.

I'd have no problem going into a restaurant by myself and ordering a drink whilst I waited.

Agree with gothanne and would add that IME there is a common, if unspoken, alternative scenario which I find among a few of my friends which is that they won't buy themselves a drink. They believe that it is polite for the first person to arrive to buy the drinks. If its a coffee or quick lunch and therefore only one drink is likely to be had, then sure as shit they're not paying for it. They make sure they aren't there first by means of texting to find out the exact location of others in the party ie me and then slowing down if necessary so that I get there first.

I have another friend, senior professional woman, who texts every step of her 500 metre journey from her workplace to our usual lunch place just to be certain that I will be there before her. She would never go into the restaurant alone.

I'm afraid I'm in the get a grip camp. This sort of girly behaviour is pretty unedifying (crippling social anxiety aside of course, but come on that's not that common).

MIL always expected me to meet her outside, and she was always late, so I would turn up, go in, and then have to keep going outside to see if she'd got there yet.

It's not a generational thing either, as my mum never did that sort of thing, and nor did my gm.

I can completely understand not wanting to go in if you are on your own BUT I was very late meeting two friends once and they waited outside in mid winter for over half an hour. Now THAT'S madness!

Depends on the reasoning for not going in, I guess. I don't have any fear of being alone, and am perfectly happy eating in cafes and restaurants completely on my own, but maybe in a situation like this where I was supposed to be meeting someone, I'd feel awkward and wonder what the socially correct/polite thing was to do. But then I'm not very good with etiquette.

You don't sound very, well, friendly towards your friend though, OP. If she really does find a restaurant 'scary', maybe you could be supportive instead of mocking her on here. I agree it does sound a bit odd, but so are most phobias. Do you actually like your friend?

A couple of people have said about women not wanting to be alone being the reason they daren't venture into places without a friend.

that might be true for some people, but it's not my reason.

I am shy, full stop. it's got nothing to do with not wanting to be alone.
I'm quite happy on my own. I'll wander around everywhere on my own. I'll go into shops on my own etc.
I won't go into a cafe/restaurant/bar/club where I'm meeting someone on my own. Not because I'm worried that I'll be chatted up (actually, the thought of anyone speaking to me would be enough of a fear!), or that men will think i'm available. but because I'm shy and nervous.

just had a delivery which prompted this:
I am happy to say hello to the delivery person when they walk in the shop - because I know that they're there specifically to give me something.
If a customer had walked into the shop, I would have to force myself to say hello unless they speak to me first. Just in case they don't want me to say hello.

Ephiny - I can also eat on my own in a cafe if I'm not supposed to be meeting someone. (ordering and paying for my food/drink hurdle notwithstanding)

It is nice to wait I think and meet and go in together.

I once arranged to meet a new friend for a meal. I turn up ten minutes early, go in to the restaurant, order myself a glass of champagne and settle down to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And order another glass of champagne.

And wait.

Eventually I give her a call (She was a very new friend, not a good mate), only to discover that she had been outside in the car park all along, sitting in her car waiting for me to arrive. She hadn't noticed me walk past and go in.

We had a very awkward lunch and I'm afraid the friendship went no further - frankly I thought it was the behaviour of a total fucking drip.

If I was waiting in a car for someone, and not directly outside the place, I would text them at the time we agreed and say "I'm waiting outside i nthe car, are you here yet? text me when you get here"

ah, I love mobile phones - the kind of thing that you wouldn't have been able to do years ago!

I really enjoy eating out alone. Just me, food, drink, a newspaper or book and blissful solitude....

Me too, and thre's always the entertainment of people having hissed rows at the next table.

- yes, watching people's uncomfortable accompanied lunches has its entertaining moments.

I go into town in the bus every couple of weeks, and I love popping into the pub to have a glass of wine at lunchtime, on my own.
Newspaper or kindle and people watching.
lovely .

You sound like a lovely friend

I while away many an hour in pubs and restaurants watching people on their own and condemning them as no -mates losers who have been stood up. I often speculate about their private lives and take pictures on my phone to post on the internet. Best entertainment there is.... Who needs Homeland?

SEROUSLY, all those excusing this friend because she might be shy or self-conscious, have you EVER done the above? Who do you think the people are that those you are excusing are so afraid of? OP I right with you, her behaviour was pathetic and she needs to grow a pair.

I would have waited. I am a 40 year old professional person, confident in some cases, less so in others. I don't like walking into restaurants etc alone; don't like having to look around for who I am meeting. Would prefer to wait outside and would do this.

Hope I haven't been considered silly and childish for doing this in the past but hey ho.. if I have, those people wouldn't have been my close friends so I don't much care..