to think it's childish to wait outside?

[forbiddenfruit85]

Friend was early meeting me today for lunch, so instead of going inside the restaurant and getting a table and maybe ordering a drink she decided to wait outside in the cold for 15 minutes by herself.

I know quite a few people that would prefer to wait outside until one of their party comes. I find this a bit silly and childish.

I'd have no problem going into a restaurant by myself and ordering a drink whilst I waited.

It's childish. No doubt about it. Not to mention outdated. I earn my own money, vote, travel, drive, mum, wear what I want etc etc because its 2012 not 1952. I am quite able to sit at a table in a pub or bar or restaurant for a few mins on my own to wait for a mate. Particularly now kindles, mobiles and iPads clearly mark u out as 'unavailable for chatting up'.

Your mates less of a woman than u r, bet u always new this too (evil laugh!) ;)

if i was meeting someone i would normally wait for them and go in together

i had never thought i would be considered childish

nor would i be waiting for 15 mins because i am never organised enough to be early

WTF?

I bet at no point was friend concerned about being chatted up. Whatever her reasons were for not waiting inside I bet that was not one of them.

It is definitely more sophisticated to go inside and wait for your friend at the table or bar.

Who ARE these people who purportedly don't have the confidence to walk into a restaurant on their own? Since when did that require confidence anyway? They're not walking in there in order to give a speech or perform a burlesque routine! Just to get a table FFS! Who do they think will be interested enough to give them a second glance anyway?

Nigellas, I agree, why is everyone assuming it is a confidence issue??

Once or twice I've had a friend ask why I didn't go in, I replied that I either wanted some fresh air or I said that I wanted to wait for my company. Honestly going in, sitting down and getting a drink feels like starting without your company and I don't want to do that.

Oh for the love of god OP

If you're going to throw a hissy fit and keep quoting people, at least learn how to bold the quotes.

YABU. Ir's not childish to wait outsidem I usually wait outside as that's what I prefer to do and I thnk it's rude going insice. Although if it's cold and wet then I would probably text the person I was waiting for and tell them I was going inside to wait. I wouldn't buy myself a drink though.

Totally with nigella on this. It wouldn't come up in my friendship circle though. I just can't imagine what I might have in common with somebody who was too nervous to enter a cafe, restaurant or bar on their own.

We all have bad days, or feel off now and then, but in general social interaction I'd simply be baffled by it.

Before I found MN I probably would have said the same (well, not quite the same, I'd have said I thought they were 'bloody mad to have waited outside, what kind of an idiot does that in the pouring rain yadda yadda yadda').

People have always told me that I'm confident and will do anything etc. (I take after my Dad x) I never overly agreed with them, I don't really see myself that way particularly. I just think I'm normal/average - but I guess most people do, don't they?!

However, since joining MN I understand a lot more about other people feel/think/function, how insecure a lot of people are, how scared they are of things I don't think twice about, how shockingly lacking in self confidence many people are and you know what - it makes me :( MN has made me a MUCH more 'aware' person IRL. I wish it could make the people lacking in confidence, more confident.

I agree with Nigella and Morris - how is going into a restaurant/bar different from going into a shop?

I am shy, but I would not stand in the cold for 15 minutes when there is warmth and a glass of wine waiting inside!

I can go into a cafe and eat alone no problem. If I am meeting someone, however, I would wait outside. A mixture of being brought up to believe that it is polite and social anxiety.

You don't sound like a nice friend describing her as childish - really what's the big deal? No impact on you & does it actually matter

I was brought up to think it polite to go in, bag a table, and get things rolling.

People who think it's polite to wait outside - really? If you were unavoidably held up, would you expect your cold/ hungry/ thirsty friend to be waiting outside for you? I find this genuinely odd and have never heard of anybody who does this or thinks this.

I wouldn't expect my friend to wait outside for me. I would expect myself to, though. I have higher expectations of myself than I do of others.

I would also never, ever be late. I'm of the Nancy Mitford school of leaving 'puncture time' x2, so I'm always at least 30 minutes early for everything.

It's definitely more polite to go in and be waving at your friend from a table, maybe even having ordered them a drink if you know what they like!

Also, how do you know that your friend isn't already in there? Do you peer through the windows to check?? isn't this more embarrassing?

YABU.

I'm always early. My friends are invariably late.

Whathasthecatdone, ideally then, you would like your friend to wait outside for you, if that's the politest thing to do?

Why is this even a question? If I turned up to a meeting and the other person was waiting for me outside, I would think... nothing of it. How is it childish? I would probably wait outside, too, not because I have a problem with walking into a restaurant by myself, but because it makes for less potential confusion (e.g. other friend arriving, thinking I wasn't there yet and waiting outside). You are being totally unreasonable.

If she got there very early, she might have just thought it was more sensible to wait for you at the door so you could go in together! I'm sure she was just doing what she felt was most polite. Which is why YABU.

LOL - this thread is hilarious. OP YAB a bit U but the people who can't seem to be able to read and follow your replies have made this thread a very funny read!

I suppose I would agree a bit in that when I was younger I may not have had the confidence to go into a pub/restaurant alone to wait for a friend but now that I am older (less childish) it does not bother me. A couple of my friends are right unreasonable mardy arses though so I might wait outside for them because no matter which table I chose it would be the wrong one....

No Morris, I don't really care what they do. They may have been brought up to believe it politer to go ahead. I was not, so I stick to what I have always done. As I say, it never happens that way round anyway. My DDad was a sergeant-major, we were never late for anything and all of our clocks were early and that has stayed with me. If I'm on time, I'm late!

ouryve - sigh.

Why not read and then you will clearly see I have stated on numerous times, that NO I did say this to her face.

I read everything very clearly, thankyou. I think you show very little respect for your friend if you're willing to bitch about her behind her back, on a public forum about something you haven't got the balls to say to her face.