to think it's childish to wait outside?

[forbiddenfruit85]

Friend was early meeting me today for lunch, so instead of going inside the restaurant and getting a table and maybe ordering a drink she decided to wait outside in the cold for 15 minutes by herself.

I know quite a few people that would prefer to wait outside until one of their party comes. I find this a bit silly and childish.

I'd have no problem going into a restaurant by myself and ordering a drink whilst I waited.

ChippingInLovesAutumn - well said

(e.g. other friend arriving, thinking I wasn't there yet and waiting outside).

See you don't know whether last time she did go in and get seated and the mate she was meeting may have waited at another table in the bar/where ever, and they wasted time waiting for each other - this time she may have thought I am waiting outside and be early so that doesn't happen again and to stop all the palaver and confusion.

MN would have to shut down if nobody came on here to say things about people that they wouldn't say to their face.

What if it's a party of say, eight for dinner? Would you all wait outside on the pavement until the eighth person arrived?

Smoker ?

What, waste 15 minutes of valuable time standing about in the cold?

Childish, maybe not; but foolish, definitely

Morris, I wouldn't. But five minutes before my friend arrived, if I knew I was early, I might hover outside so we could go in together, I think. And I'd hope she didn't despise me for it!

YABU. I'd do this. It's being polite. Being childish is going in and throwing rolled up bits of paper from afar into people's plates.

Yabvu, do you even have a grasp on what childish actually is?
We're all different & it takes a confident person who is comfortable with themselves to enter a restaurant or whatever, order a drink & sit by themselves-I'm happy to do so but appreciate that some are not, glad you're not my friend.

Ahh give over.

I might wait outside. I might go in.

It would entirely depend how I was feeling, and what the other clientele l

Ahem. Posted too soon

What the other clientele was like

OP am i your friend? I went to meet friends today. They were late so i waited outside for them.

The reason was because i didnt know if they were ordering meals or just drinks/cakes. There are seperate areas for this kind of thing where we were meeting.

Im not shy or childish. Just sensible.

Yabu

Personally I love the rain and fresh air and pretty much every time I'm early to meet someone, I will wait outside.

I also get hot really easily which makes me nauseous and headachy, so the more fresh air I have beforehand the better. Is it harming anyone? No! It has nothing to do with anyone else and it's MY choice to do so, so leave me be!

Your friend is not childish, you are for making an issue out of it

i said the op was being unreasonable. no one read my post either it seems.
it takes a fucking shed load of brass and gumption to go into a restaurant/bar /cafe alone least if all and then buy a drink.
i am shy, painfully so. i think it's called socially awkward.
and yes;, i would sooner stand in the rain and cold than go in on my own in, knowing damn wellthat she wiuldn't be there.
either i would feel that i was being stared at, or that everyone would assume I'd been stood up.
there are plenty of normal people who are shy enough not ti want to inside on their in go

"how do you know your friend isn't in there? do you peer ib the windows and check?
it takes about 5 minutes of pacing, fretting and marching back and forth looking at watch, hindering whether to text, checking for texts before plucking up the courage to wander to the door and peer in uf friend isn't obvious, then back outside.
if I'm with other people waiting for one person, i always text when i arrive and say we're inside and if not seated obvious will also say approx where we are. to save them the humiliation.

Yabu it is not childish behaviour.

I have no problem going in and ordering a drink by myself, sometimes I will go in, sometimes I will wait.

A shed load of brass and gumption to enter a cafe, bar or restaurant alone?

With respect, this just isn't true. The majority of people do it without thinking.
I do know how hard it is to have social anxiety, my brother has it. But in general, most people do not think that going in alone takes shed loads of courage.

Can I also ask, do you stare at people who are alone in cafes etc, imagining them to have been stood up? I doubt you do.

CBT type therapy would help people to address anxieties based upon unfounded fears. It has helped my brother.

morris it is true.
i have to live that every day.
and no, it's not the kind if thing that cbt can magically cure, it's a steeped process.

it takes me a good hour to make a phone call to a customer and i pray that it's an answerphone. it takes even longer if I'm late returning a call and i dread answering the phone too.
i get my husband to ring customers when he comes in for lunch.

Omg what a load of twaddle about nothing. Jeez, does it really matter??!! FWIW YABU.

and i don't believe you DO know how hard it is otherwise you wouldn't say what you said: you would show sympathy.

in fact, just writing it my feelings and experiences in this subject is stressing me

Maybe she is fine going into places alone but wasn't sure if you would have been ok with going in on your own to look for her.

So maybe she was just trying to be thoughtful.

Nickel, I'm sorry. Are you happy to live very privately or would you prefer to be more social?

If you don't like socialising then you can make your own rules. If you'd prefer to be more social, then I would genuinely suggest CBT, not as a miracle cure, but as part of a lifelong process.

Apologies if you already do this, or have in the past.

How do you know she waited outside for