To not want MIL to take DS to the other side of the world for 6 weeks

[MSDP]

My DP thinks I am being unreasonable to not want his mother to take my son away to their home country for six weeks when he is two years old.

My son has a good relationship with his GM and she is capable of looking after him, however I am not comfortable with her taking my son for so long to a place more than 12 hours away. This place has is in South America and is not renowned for being the safest place in the world and my son has never been away from me for me than 2 nights so am I being unreasonable?

YAMDNBU!!!!

It sounds seriously dodgy if you want my honest opinion. Why on earth does she was to take him for that long? How can your DH think it is ok?

Say no. Stand your ground and keep saying no.

I'm with you on this.
It's just too long and too far away from you. Your MIL is being unreasonable not to accept your refusal with better grace.

It still does not sit well, I hope you have said no. Go with him in the summer, your dp should be respecting your feelings

Another no from me, and hide his passport, birth certificate, any other form of ID you may have for him eg NHS card.

YANBU. YOur DS will not even remember it at 2, so what is the benefit to him?

This would not happen with my dc and that's that.

Forget your dp, and his parents, you have to think of your ds first and foremost.

YADNBU. No no no no no. Be strong and stand up for your son. No.

Hell no. Absolutely not. No way. NO NO NO. I can't believe either of them can even begin to think thats ok. And why 6 weeks? Why not a week? Its not that far. Well it is, but it isn't in the whole scheme of things. I wouldn't let him go unless you go too. Very odd.

are they all absolutely insane? no way should your two year old be without you, half-way across the world.
say NO. i'll say it for you. mil - NO!

YANBU

Incidentally, what is the longest she has looked after him before now? Overnight? A weekend? This isn't the main point but even if you had no other worries, 24/7 care from anyone for six weeks who isn't well used to it would concern me, even if it was just in this country.

I can't believe anyone would suggest this!

I remember being terribly homesick when I stayed with my aunt for a couple of weeks when I was about 10. And I absolutely adored her! It was a longish journey (4 or 5 hours) but certainly not the other side of the world.

(She arranged for me to go home early.)

What about going next Xmas if that wouldn't be high season? Even then your DS will still need you to go with him as he will be very little.

When your child is older, it is down to his personality. I went to summer boarding school for weeks at age 10 with no family - I loved it. My brother and I went camping with my dad for two nights when he was 12. He cried about missing my mum every night.....so it totally depends on the child anyway, whatever age.

No bloody way.

I would trust my MIL to do something like this and bring DS back safely, but I would never allow it and anyway there is no way she would even ask because she would believe it to be far too disruptive for my 2yo. Because it WOULD be!!

I am expecting DC2 any day now and will have to be away for 5 days, and I am already really worried about the effect that will have on DS. Bad enough when he is at home in a familiar environment, but if he had to go away that would just be awful.

Not in a squillion years. If my DH suggested such a thing and didn't respect my view on it, it would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. YANBU at all.

YANBU. NO way I'd consent to this.

No, you don't want him to go and you really don't need any further justification.

I've been to south america. And central anerica.

No child of mine would go without me! These are scary places!!!

No way! This is a no brainer, totally no no no.

I think that the way she has cared for his daughter has caused him to have a skewed view of grandparents relationships with their grandchildren. His role as a parent was massively undermined by her under the guise of helping and it took a long time and siome serious arguments to get to the point where my OH began to start taking his place seriously as a parent and not being dictated to. She is a lovely person but seems to overstep the mark as a Grandparent to be honest I am more irritated with my DP for not really understanding where I am coming from I think that it should be obvious.

You know you don't even have to ask this one? YADNBU

And my kids have been to guatemala, Honduras, el Salvador, venezuela (and were not talking margarita! Think caracas slums!!)

Don't do it unless you are there too. Do you speak Spanish? Essential!!

YADNBU. I suggest you tell MIL and DH that the answer is no, that you won't change your mind and that you won't discuss further. Can you do that? Especially knowing how traumatic 6 weeks away from his parents would be for your son.

Oh yes, hide his documents too, just to be on the safe side.

Softy I might hhve missed it? Country? (thoughn6 weeks is to long for anyone!!)

The country is Colombia, I speak Spanish so would be able to go with my son and DP to visit his family.