Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want MIL to take DS to the other side of the world for 6 weeks

201 replies

MSDP · 11/11/2012 20:31

My DP thinks I am being unreasonable to not want his mother to take my son away to their home country for six weeks when he is two years old.

My son has a good relationship with his GM and she is capable of looking after him, however I am not comfortable with her taking my son for so long to a place more than 12 hours away. This place has is in South America and is not renowned for being the safest place in the world and my son has never been away from me for me than 2 nights so am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 12/11/2012 10:28

Heartfelt YADNBU from me too.

Roastbeefandyorkshires · 12/11/2012 10:44

No no no. Never in a million years.

MamaBear17 · 12/11/2012 11:10

No. Your MIL must be mad if she seriously expects a mother to be separated from her son for 6 weeks. Seriously, bat shit crazy.

avivabeaver · 12/11/2012 11:16

i will never forget the sheer joy on my dds face at coming home after a 2 week holiday away with us. We had told her that we were going on holiday and home would still be here when we got back, but i genuinely think she didn't understand the concept.

expatinscotland · 12/11/2012 11:19

Just no.

MunchkinsMumof2 · 12/11/2012 13:58

No, what happened if they wouldn't let him come home? Please don't allow this.ever.

jellybeans · 12/11/2012 14:20

YANBU at all. I would never allow that, EVER. Your DH should stand up for your wishes not his mothers or it is a road to difficulties ahead.

somuchslimmernow · 12/11/2012 14:22

NO NO NO!! alarm bells are ringing so loudly my ears are bleeding.

MrsMmoo · 12/11/2012 17:14

If the child is unable to leave the country without the father how would the grandmother be able to leave with him to come home?

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 12/11/2012 17:21

No not at all.
Suggest a week holibob for all of you

LittleBearPad · 12/11/2012 17:29

No

No no no no no

ssd · 12/11/2012 17:29

no way at all

FatimaLovesBread · 12/11/2012 17:38

OP was your DH born in Columbia?
I'm presuming he'd have to be for your son to obtain a passport

MrsMangoBiscuit · 12/11/2012 17:42

Same her Goonatic, it's actually giving me goosebumps. YANBU in any way shape or form OP. I'm shocked that your MIL would think that was ok! Stand your ground.

JurassicFart · 12/11/2012 17:44

No way! I live in Colombia, btw, it's not as dangerous as people think. But still - no way! Too long to be away from you.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 12/11/2012 17:45

No - my parents went on holiday for 2 weeks when I was 2.5 and left me with the childminder ( who I loved dearly btw)

When I came back I spent the next few nights waking up and asking for Mummy & Daddy and when presented with them would say no not them the real ones.

Far too long for a little one to be without parents.

FatimaLovesBread · 12/11/2012 17:55

Just been doing some googling and it's says that you can travel to Columbia for up to 90 days without a visa from the uk. So why would your DS need a passport to stay longer than 4 weeks?

Seenenoughtoknow · 12/11/2012 18:02

In my opinion, any father who would happily see his two year old flown to another part of the world for 6 WEEKS does not really qualify for a say in that child's life. The decision is yours alone, and YADNBU. If it was my child you'd have to kill me first!

redwallday · 12/11/2012 18:18

Absolutely no way in hell! YANBU!

Shelby2010 · 12/11/2012 18:36

OP,

Could you clarify, does MIL live in the UK?

Obviously YANBU. Traumatising your DS for no benefit to him or you, just a selfish whim of MIL? She must be crazy, & your DH needs a reality check, sounds like he has an unhealthy relationship with his mother if he is willing to defer to her all the time.

FryOneFatManic · 12/11/2012 19:09

FatimaLovesBreadMon 12-Nov-12 17:55:11
Just been doing some googling and it's says that you can travel to Columbia for up to 90 days without a visa from the uk. So why would your DS need a passport to stay longer than 4 weeks?

Having just seen this, I wonder about the MIL's motives in wanting a passport for the child.

DoodleAlley · 12/11/2012 19:13

I agree with keeping his birth certificate and passport out of the house. Safety deposit box etc. Not worth the risk...

lovebunny · 12/11/2012 19:14

i think you need to look into the security of your child. what would you do if your partner took him without consent? what are the laws in columbia about this?

LadyKooKoo · 12/11/2012 19:16

My DD is 17 months so similar age to your DS and never in a million years would I agree to this. I have had one night away from her since she was born, the idea of six weeks makes me feel sick. Stick to your guns!

MushroomSoup · 12/11/2012 19:35

Hmm, let me think about it....

NOOOOO!