To not want MIL to take DS to the other side of the world for 6 weeks

[MSDP]

My DP thinks I am being unreasonable to not want his mother to take my son away to their home country for six weeks when he is two years old.

My son has a good relationship with his GM and she is capable of looking after him, however I am not comfortable with her taking my son for so long to a place more than 12 hours away. This place has is in South America and is not renowned for being the safest place in the world and my son has never been away from me for me than 2 nights so am I being unreasonable?

Absolutely NO WAY after your last message!

Woah, are you concerned that he may not come back or that to get him a passport for that country would be a risk for the future if you had issues with your marriage? Or am I reading too much into that?

Why does the visit have to be for 6 weeks and not a month?

I love Latin America, 6 weeks.... you see I'd be for it, on the proviso I could get 6 weeks off work and go too! Seriously, is that a possibility?

I have to say I did bugger off to Latin America with DS1 & 2 aged 6 and 7 and left DS3 (18 months) with Dh and the CM for the best part of 3 weeks. Really they don't care so long as they are safe, fed and entertained.

No. My own mother would not ask me to take DS (aged two) away with her without me. She has stayed at ours for two nights with DS and that was hard enough in his own environment.

I wouldn't want my child aged two to be away from me for 6 days, let alone 6 weeks. Even a mile up the road.

I work full time so am not the kind of person who can't bear to be separated from my child for any time at all. But this wouldn't work for me ever.

There's just no way. Not sure why your dp is expecting you to say yes.

Given what you've added in about the whole need for permission from his father - no, no, no and no.
Before that it would just have been the one 'no' from me, because he is far too young for this. I let my DDs stay with my parents in the Netherlands for a fortnight when they were 10 and 8, but that's hardly the same thing. I would not ever have sent them to the US (where my DH is from) to stay with my PILs without me for any length of time, it's too far away if anything goes wrong.

and with the further passport information, really NO.

No way Jose would I allow my mil to do this

So yadnbu.

He's only 2 and little. It's too much to be away from his mum at that age.

Put your foot down. Your child and as a mother your word is final. That's my rule and I stick to it.

Absolutely not anyway, but especially not with what you say about becoming a national and it being a patriarchal country-hell would freeze over before I allowed that!!

WTAF?! Of course YANBU.

Wtf would your DH even think you'd agree to this?!

No fucking way would I accept this. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of it.

Absolutely no fucking way. I would superglue him to my person before I'd send him off in those circumstances.

Is his dad wanting to go as well then? I wouldn't, especially given the passport situation. Is there any issues between you as a couple?

6 weeks????

No way!

I wouldn´t want anyone to take him away for.

Wouldn´t your partner miss him?

Christ, I wouldn´t want either of my teens to be away for that long.

YANBU. I think everyone would understand your point of view. If your partner doesn't then it is a little concerning and you need to find a way to get him to understand.

Yanbu you are just not.

After reading your last message I am now suspicious of your MIL's intentions. Is your DH going too? Which country is it? How is your marriage with DH? Why the fuck do they want to go so long? I have flown to NZ with a 2 year old for a 3 week trip, that is double the distance!

Oh and DS can't actually remember our holiday a few weeks ago that well. So I don't think a two year old will have an amazing experience that can never be repeated - just be confused about why his parents aren't there for so long.

If it is a very important trip, surely you can all take it when you can get time off work?

Noway however competent she is, he is only a baby. You are his mum you call the shots

No fucking way and I would be a bit suspicious about the motives when you take into account the passport info. It may not be for now but a bit of insurance for the future- very scary.

Having read your other message, absolutely no hope in the way i'd agree to that.

Mind you, I hate DS being away for 1 night, so 6 weeks would be hell. 6 weeks with neither parent in a 2nd world country? Nope, you are being perfectly reasonable to say no. If he was 13 I'd still feel uncomfortable.

Absolutely NO WAY. Thats crazy! He's 2, why would she want to take him anyway? 6 weeks is a month and a half. That's an 8th of a year!!

I too am deeply suspicious. There is absolutely no way I would consider this even without the passport issue. The idea that you still question here what you should do given the fact that he legally could not be brought back here quite frankly turns my blood cold
You would have to be stark, staring mad to do this

Yes having read your further information, noway will he be allowed to eave the country without you, if you allow that work and nursery fees will be the least of your problems, you might never see your child again

Yadnbu!!

I wouldn't let my MIL take my kids to the seaside for the day, she's fucking batty. Six weeks abroad? Fuck that for a game of dominoes.