to tell DD she wears the coat she chose or she buys her own?

[ThatVikRinA22]

DD is 15 and in the throes of teenagedom.....she is normally very placid and well behaved, not normally a prima donna.

however.....

She chose a coat on ebay, not expensive, only about £20, from China. We duly ordered it, paid for it, and yesterday it arrived. It is identical to the ebay picture. its lovely. She was not restricted to a budget, and she chose this coat out of every other on the internet.

She has seen it, thrown a hissy fit, says she hates it, wont wear it.
DH was the only one in when it arrived as i was at work, and he did not argue with her, but simply told her that if she wanted another one, she would have to pay for it out of her pocket money (she gets £35 per month cash and we pay for her mobile phone on top of that)

Today she has told me she "needs a coat"

WIBU to tell she has a coat, which she chose, and we paid for, and its up to her if she does not wear it and stick to what DH has said and tell her if she wants another she must pay for it herself?

She is upstairs crying at the moment saying its winter and she needs a coat and what is she meant to do in the snow etc etc etc

Now i know the Ebay coat was not expensive, but to send it back to china will cost as much as buying the flaming coat.....

its too small for me or i would keep it and wear it. i like it. sadly a chinese "large" is a size 8 - 10....which i am not!

help me decide MN jury....(i feel a bit of a meanie.)

[Lougle]

Well done, Vicar

FWIW - Vicar's DD - I don't think you were unreasonable to be disappointed with the coat. Pictures are never the same thing as the real thing.

[SugarMouse1]

Can you put up the link to the coat so we can see it?

[ThatVikRinA22]

there is already a link - someone on the first few pages i think.

[Poledra]

Oh, the poor love! Actually, I think it was good that DH took a hard line with her to start with, when she did fly off the handle. She's seen that stropping is not the way to go about things. Then she's also learned that a calm discussion with all the key stakeholders () can accomplish so much more.

Can I see a namechange coming on, though??

[afussyphase]

As LRD said above, has someone said something to her about this or similar coats? This happened to me when I was 12 - my mum took me shopping, we got some sandals, and a friend gave them a look and said 'oh... are those your new sandals'? I was never quite able to wear them again! I was pretty insecure, at least about some things. And frankly I still can't choose things well when I'm shopping, I hate it, though thankfully now I'm old enough that people really don't care much about what I'm wearing. I so hated being a teenager - more the fact that the people around me were also teenagers than anything else, in hindsight ... So if she's usually fine and doesn't do this, and since it's a small amount of money really, I'd definitely cave!