to tell DD she wears the coat she chose or she buys her own?

[ThatVikRinA22]

DD is 15 and in the throes of teenagedom.....she is normally very placid and well behaved, not normally a prima donna.

however.....

She chose a coat on ebay, not expensive, only about £20, from China. We duly ordered it, paid for it, and yesterday it arrived. It is identical to the ebay picture. its lovely. She was not restricted to a budget, and she chose this coat out of every other on the internet.

She has seen it, thrown a hissy fit, says she hates it, wont wear it.
DH was the only one in when it arrived as i was at work, and he did not argue with her, but simply told her that if she wanted another one, she would have to pay for it out of her pocket money (she gets £35 per month cash and we pay for her mobile phone on top of that)

Today she has told me she "needs a coat"

WIBU to tell she has a coat, which she chose, and we paid for, and its up to her if she does not wear it and stick to what DH has said and tell her if she wants another she must pay for it herself?

She is upstairs crying at the moment saying its winter and she needs a coat and what is she meant to do in the snow etc etc etc

Now i know the Ebay coat was not expensive, but to send it back to china will cost as much as buying the flaming coat.....

its too small for me or i would keep it and wear it. i like it. sadly a chinese "large" is a size 8 - 10....which i am not!

help me decide MN jury....(i feel a bit of a meanie.)

Why are you being so mean to her? If you buy stuff off the internet , it often looks different on.A coat is something you have to wear day in day out, would you want to go round all winter in a coat you hated! Why don't you just return it, or ebay it on.
The poor kid has practically chosen the cheapest coat in the universe to begin with.

That's a really nice coat, would it fit a 12? I'll have it.

DH will kill me if I buy another coat, but I reckon it'd be worth it.

Ooh the ASOS one is really nice

TBH if you can afford it
and if she contributes
and if she does some chores
and if she grovels
and if she is usually a sweetie pie...... I would buy the more expensive one as she wont grow out of it and may be wearing it for a good few years. (and she will have still learnt her lesson and think you a nice )Mum

the ebay coat, for any interested parties, is a size 8 - 10.

i tried it on (am a 14) but the arms were tight on me, the rest fit (i would have kept it otherwise as i like it!) Its a generous fitting 8 - 10 i would say.

You do not NEED a coat in winter. You just need jumpers etc. She'll be fine!

I really like that coat! It says the large is an 8-10, if its a bit overized, does that mean its more of a 10?

I rarely wear a coat - I wear thick cards and layers and a scarf, umbrella when it's raining.

arrrrgggghhhhhh.......

im caving. so help me lord im caving.

she says she showed DH the ASOS coat to begin with and he said it was too expensive.....so she never showed me it thinking i would say the same (see - normally DH and i are a united front) but on this i would have let her have the £80 one....i dont think thats unreasonable for a winter coat and i spend more than that on the rare occasion i replace mine.....

the ASOS one is really nice.
bugger.

FWIW I suspect the ASOS one will also be too long. Their models seem to be about 6'5" or something and everything is always a lot longer than it looks in their photos. But at least they do free delivery and free returns.

Also maybe make her wait until the £20 is sold, and for a discount code on ASOS, so it's not like she just gets her way straight away after having a strop?

Wow, I am obviously a wuss, I need a coat in winter! And the jumpers!

*£20 coat I meant

breakoutthekaraoke - defo more of a 10. a generous 10. you would get a sweater under it easily ....

ASOS is really poor quality for the prices. Everything DS has had from ASOS has frayed or split very quickly.

You dont grow out of your coats though, do you? she hasnt finished growing yet.

Plus you have a job and pay bill's and things.

really marriedinwhite?

i hate bloody shopping.
and teens.

DS is looking for a long winter coat too. He has to feel every single one, and sniff it and then try it on and stride around in it. We've been looking for around 15 months and have yet to find one that is acceptable.
So, cag-in-a-bag it is again.

Really. He has had: rucksack, T shirt, long shorts, shirt. He knows I am not ordering anything else from Asos. The t shirt was OK but the fabric is very thin. Admittedly it all looks great when it arrives but it doesn't survive much wear or washing. I may of course have been unlucky but feel we have given it a good shot.

thats disappointing married...i may have a look at it first then. At least it has free returns.

Don't cave! don't cave!
why would you? she has a coat she chose specially! and £20 is not nothing really. And really, how many months do you need it? About two or three at most.

Just a quick aside-
whoever said vicar was being mean re dd's allowance is out of order- especially saying dd should get all child benefit. In our house CB spent on household stuff/ bills.
Also in my day [I am old] I babysat for my money.

YANBU id tell her to buy her own bloody coat let her freeze until she saves up for it what does she buy with her pocket money. I would let her sulk dont argue with her anymore about it that is her coat she can wear it or not, end of conversation far to much energy and drama has been done over a jacket imo

How many months?
Vic and her family live in the far frozen wastelands of the North, with the haar blowing and the wolves howling over the moors. DD will need that coat for months to avoid turning into a popsicle.
Not like us Southerners, I was sauntering around in a Tshirt yesterday.

im caving. so help me lord im caving.

Dont do it you will be banished from mumsnet you will need to namechange nobody will speak to you cos you caved in

Wow mrsjay, do you actually like teenagers at all?

Hmm. I have teenagers including a dd of 14.5. I want her to have nice things and to feel good about herself tries to think of yet another way to drag dd to the shops and get her to show an interest