To be disgusted by the criteria for free childcare for 2 year olds

[LowToleranceMamma]

So because I'm not 'poor' enough, I'm not entitled to childcare for my 2 year old, even though I am really struggling with PND and a baby. We can't afford to pay for it.

OP - leaving nursery aside do you think youcould get some other suggestions here to help you? You might want to start another thread to ask people what strategies have worked for them with the toddler, new baby and PND conbination. That is a lot to deal with but there are plenty of people on here whi've faced that. A classic tactic that I know helps a lot of people is getting out of the house as much as possible. Do you have a double buggy? Do you go to baby groups at all?

Depression makes you think you are a shit mum - I am sure you are not.

Honestly, that's the illness speaking, as it's a really common symptom of PND to think like that.

I know several families who've got 2 year old places in surestart children centres in my area not because of income but because of having younger DC, pnd or other difficult circumstances.

A private pre-school said it could do such places but claimed that they could only get that where family income was low.

Perhaps a direct approach rather than through your HV.

I believe you can ask for another HV as that sound like another issue though I found where other ones were based ? children centres here actually - and visited there instead.

Are you getting your PND treated OP?

Can you pay for a small amount of help at home to ease the pressure a bit?

I do sympathise, I had PND after I had DS1 and it was a horrid time.

Sitting on your arse all day won't get you a free place.Some in work benefits are included in my local criteria, and being on benefits alone won't get you a place, you need some other awful problem.

I will be pissing off this thread too.

here is a site where you can check for your nearest SureStart Centre, just in case there is one nearer you than you think.

While I didn't have pnd - I did have several young DC alot of stressful things happen and a DH working long hours and no family support - I did what Northernlurker suggested and went out alot to groups. It really helped to get out the house.

Ahh so there's the crux. Us people on benefits "sit on our arse all day"

Wondered how long it would take.

I just counted 16 surestart centres in newcastle I cant do links google them and contact them they can offer you support for your PND and your children , do it tomorrow ,

www.home-startnewcastleborough.org.uk/

If you have under 5's Home start are supposed to be good - I never used them but had several friends do so and they found them great so much so one went on to support other parents with them.

MrsDeVere it does vary area to area. Where I work families need to fit certain economic criteria before anything else

Surely free childcare isn't the only way of dealing with PND.There were many struggling mums on my course(some waaaay more than I was),none of us had free childcare and all recovered.

"Depression makes you think you are a shit mum - I am sure you are not."

I'm sick of my children. No matter what I do, its never good enough in their eyes.

Walk into your local Children's Centre here and tell them you are struggling. A family support worker will assess your needs and get you the help you need. This may or may not be a free nursery place. Your HV doesn't have to be involved but it is usually them who completes the CAF (the assessment) needed to get the free nursery place so you need to make it clear to the family support worker that you need an independent HV.

Don't begrudge what other struggling families have though, tisn't nice.

Also go back to your GP for yours and your children's sake

Hexenbiest - how do u get out the house when your DD throws a tantrum every 30 minutes?

No matter what I do, its never good enough in their eyes

No, it's never good enough in YOUR eyes, and you only think that because you are poorly with PND. Are you seeing your GP about getting help?

i made this thread before i made this one and didnt get much help

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1605468-Swinging-between-Love-and-Hatred?msgid=35224658#35224658

LTM - you just go out, carrying her under your arm if need be.

'I'm sick of my children. No matter what I do, its never good enough in their eyes.'
This is clearly ridiculous, because they are 2 and a baby, and therefore unable to judge your parenting against anything else.

Look - I'm sympathetic but you have to want to get better. Are you taking any meds, getting any counselling?

I live in Northern Ireland we don't get any free childcare playgroups or nursery until the child Is one year before they start primary school. My ds 2 is 3 and will not get a free nursery place until this September when he will be almost four. He is starting Playgroup after Xmas 3 mornings per week from 9 to 11. 30 and I have to pay £90 per month for it, or I can wait until September and he will get 15 hours only for free that is all we get. So I think you are all very lucky to get anything in England before this, it's just not an option for us here. I think lots of people take things for granted I had to struggle with 2 ds under 3 and no free childcare and I had to work and pay for any childcare I did use, and still do.

"no, it's never good enough in YOUR eyes"

they wont stop screaming, crying or winging.