To be annoyed by him coming on to me around our kids?

[jenrose29]

DD1 is 5 yrs old, DD2 is 5 months old, DP is a randy bugger. At weekends we have the kids in bed for cuddles in the morning, DP is always stroking me etc and his 'excitement' is evident. I'm sure if I allowed him to he'd do stuff regardless of the kids. For me, it's irritating and spoils what should be a nice time with the kids. I'm by no means frigid but having the kids there just means I'm not in that mind-set. Yesterday I was breastfeeding a sleeping DD2 on the sofa, DP bent in to give me a kiss, was excited and later said he'd been hoping I'd give him a BJ. Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by his (in my opinion) inappropriate randiness?

I'm not defending him, but it really isn't anything to do with his last relationship. She cheated him numerous times - she told me this herself. It is ridiculous that you all claim to know everything when all I have said is a small thing about the situation. Yes I do need his help to move. How am I supposed to move house/dismantle beds etc with a 5 month old under my arm? It's 3 more weeks, that's all.

Look, pigtale, her child chimes up about this permanent horndog and SS are going to be far more harsh.

Why do you need to move?

Are you getting a joint tenancy with him somewhere?

I have a house ready to move in to, I'm just seeing out the notice where I currently live.

No the children and I are moving alone.

Where is he going then?

So you want to have sex every day with someone you're planning to leave?

I really feel for you - it must be really hard to be in this situation with no support from real friends or family. The harsher posters are right though, you need to remove your children from this situation however hard it is for you. Do you want your daughters growing up believing its ok for men to grope them regardless of how they feel about it? Not exactly setting them up for safe and happy lives is it.

Expat you don't have a clue of what the op is feeling right now. Stop being harsh on her, she support not to b made to feel like shite.

easy expat, easy...please

jen, why did you wait until such a late stage in your thread to inform all the people that are terribly concerned about you that you are planning to leave him ?

Got to go, baby is awake.

No, I don't have a clue, that's right. But the kids are living with an abuser.

She needs to get them away from her.

Easy? Gimme a break. That child talks up about what's going on and it's not going to be a good result for the OP or them.

And she never told us she was planning to leave him till a few minutes ago. Instead seemed to be looking for yet another way to enable him.

The ex is by the by except that he is still married to her so whatever house she's getting is hopefully in her own name.

Get them away from him.

And I'd save all his texts, jen, because he really shouldn't be in contact with your DD.

What's 'supportive' is actually what expat and others are offering. It's not 'support' at all to enable the abuse to continue by patting the OP on the arm. She needs to confront the danger in her situation or she will never leave.

OP- I simply do not believe that you have no friends who you could ask to help you move some stuff over to another house. Go now and be safe and non-harassed. Or stay and live in misery and subject your children to a horrible and dangerous atmosphere. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

You're not answering the points made to you OP.
Why are you putting up with it?

If you kick him out now, you'll have time to pack when the children are in bed without having to have him groping you all the time or demanding sex.

I'm not. I'm leaving.

No I really don't have anyone to help.

Nobody? You've met no other parents in the time you've lived there? You have no health visitor who you can appeal to and see if there are any volunteers who might help you? You know nobody - really?

What about relations? Are there any in the same continent you can appeal to? Or who might have friends who could help you. People are nicer than you'd think. To help a woman leave an abusive man a lot of people woild go to a lot of effort.

jen you really have to get this sorted.

Your DC are growing up in an abusive household. If SS get any sniff of your DH trying to have sex with you around your DC, and you remaining with him...

You don't need his help to move.

If you don't want him in your life, you kick him out.

Once he is gone, you can deal with all the rest of it.

You can move and sort furniture etc without his help.

You just have to stand up for yourself first, is all.

It is scary doing it all alone, but certainly not impossible OP.

And jen please stop using words like randy. You are minimising his behaviour, making him sound a wee bit naughty, when in fact what he is doing is abuse pure and simple.

i dont get this...

yesterday morning OP was (in my opinion) almost lightheartedly giggling about her "randy bugger" of a partner.. 24 hours later she is saying that plans are in place to leave him in three weeks anyway..

what a load of bollocks..

jen- was your DD1 selective mute before you began your relationship with current partner?

Honestly- there are people on here that can help you move house!
You need to end it, and make your children safe.