To be annoyed by him coming on to me around our kids?

[jenrose29]

DD1 is 5 yrs old, DD2 is 5 months old, DP is a randy bugger. At weekends we have the kids in bed for cuddles in the morning, DP is always stroking me etc and his 'excitement' is evident. I'm sure if I allowed him to he'd do stuff regardless of the kids. For me, it's irritating and spoils what should be a nice time with the kids. I'm by no means frigid but having the kids there just means I'm not in that mind-set. Yesterday I was breastfeeding a sleeping DD2 on the sofa, DP bent in to give me a kiss, was excited and later said he'd been hoping I'd give him a BJ. Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by his (in my opinion) inappropriate randiness?

Doesn't matter if he is unfaithful or not. This is not a relationship anyway.

jen upthread you said you started having sex again 4 weeks after dd was born and since then you have sex most days.

Hand on heart, can you say that you have really really wanted sex or were you and are you now still consenting just to keep the peace?

He does read like a giant walking penis OP. Someone who is that sexually demanding almost takes on an inhuman quality to my mind.
Doesn't it bore you? All the hard ons, and the going on and on and on about sex all the time?
Sounds dull as fuck, along with being a creepy sexual predator.

It's really not normal, if he was a dog he'd have been taken to the vets ages ago for a very special little operation. Maybe he should see the GP as being continually sexually aroused - or becoming sexually aroused from a quick snog or a cuddle isn't normal - unless you're a 15 year old boy.

Expecting sex in front of a 5 year old and a blow job whilst you're breastfeeding is just wrong on so many levels that I won't waste words typing them out. You shouldn't need people here to back you up on that, you know it's wrong. And as for thinking the 5 year old won't notice is he deluded or what? Can you imagine what she might say at school about what she saw? And that could bring a whole heap of trouble to your door with SS.

And as for having sex 4 weeks after birth, medical advice is still not to do so until after the 6 week check up. Could he really not wait another 2 weeks? "I was fine with it" sounds more like he went on and on and on and you just gave in tbh.

He sounds absolutely vile. I think you have 2 options. You either sit him down and explain firmly about boundaries, acceptable behaviour and treating you with respect and he listens and acts on it or you dump the arse.

She won't finish it and history will repeat with her dd. (sad)

I really feel for your children.

OP seriously, is he on something? this isn't normal behaviour it's not even border unreasonable. Is he a coke head?

If you are going to stay with him then do so but your children should not be there. That's your choice. Your children or a sexual abuser?.

JenRose - good for you sticking to your boundaries, but you need to have a serious conversation with him where you tell him that this has to stop.

This is seriously creepy.

Sounds like a creepy sex perv to me. Urgh.

jen do you equate all this sex and attention sexually as his way of loving you?...is that the headfucking bit for you?...have you been sucked in and started off feeling flattered and excited by a man being so attentive and aroused all the time with you...is it the notion that his undying love for you has him exploding 24/7 sexually?

Think about this...maybe it started off as flattering and made you feel good to be loved and attended to and you enjoyed knowing he was horny, etc....totally understandable way to react and healthy too to feel this way....but...this has developed into something very different...this is not love, or genuine care and definitely is not respect anymore.

and giving in to sex 4 weeks after a caesarian is very foolish I would have thought...it just makes me feel all you have been is lucky it didn't create infection and or other issues for your health tbh.

None of this is at all right or healthy or safe....you must think of your children if you can't care about yourself

Sorry op he sounds like a bit of a stupid bore! Arnt you bored with him??

My teenage boys are more mature around their girlfriends than this married father is around you.

He's weirdly immature and inappropriate.

Seriously doesn't this sex crap get in your nerves.

Oh Jen! you know that his behaviour is an absolute no no! you say you told him nothing should happen around the kids but am not convinced you want anything to happen at all!! For obvious reasons (young baby) you're not physically nor mentally ready for sex and he doesn't care. He sounds like a real pervert who wouldn't think twice about showing your 'home made' videos to anyone interested. I would be very careful...

He is jealous, and he is exerting his sense of ownership on you, OP. He is needing you to demonstrate that you want him more than you want to be with his children. More than that - and far more damaging: he is prepared to demonstrate to his children that they not only come second - they are not even a consideration.

And you sound so together in your posts. Just how much have you had to normalise this so that he has been able to get away with his behaviour?

Jen doesn't sound "together" at all

Jen sounds disconnected. Not in a good way.

I can't believe you really would want to have much to do with him sexually. His behaviour is the biggest turn off for what I would imagine would be most women. I would think having sex under these conditions would be far from pleasant or what you really want. What do you really expect people to say? Do you enjoy the attention from him and from the posters here? I really don't understand.

You shouldn't HAVE to tell him that nothing is going to happen in front of the kids

A NORMAL PERSON DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!

You need to tell him that it is, frankly, creepy as hell that he can even want to.

You need to see that it is as creepy as hell that he even wants to.

Are you happy for your children to grow up in a highly sexual atmosphere? Are you?

OP this has really shocked me and I'm not easily shocked.

Wanting to have sex while your kids are around is just vile.
When you say no does he continue?

Have you tried to talk to him previously?

If my DH put my hand on his crotch while he was driving I would squeeze. Hard.

Eugh. I couldn't imagine my DH asking for sex infront of our dd.

Do you think he might be a sex addict?

Oh and penetrative sex after 4 weeks? Holy crap. H

Please OP get some self respect. Being in a relationship is not about letting some lazy arsed fuckwit shag you whenever he gets the urge and isn't about being made to feel guilty when you say no. His 'demands' are not normal and are putting you and your DC at risk.

Can you even begin to imagine what would happen if your 5 year old said to her teacher "Mummy was giving milk to the baby on the sofa and she had Daddy's/Bloke's willy in her mouth" or "I was in bed with Mummy and Daddy/Bloke was doing something to Mummy" How on earth would you even begin to explain it? And do you seriously think that SS would be interested in your explanation about how 'randy' he is?

And sex addict my arse. He's a sick, selfish fuck.

Have you noticed that every single poster has recoiled in disgust at what your 'DP' is doing?
If he won't stop you have to make a decision. Can you imagine what it would be like, him carrying on like this, when the children are 7/8/9 and really aware of what he's doing??

She won't listen to anyone, Nanny, much less leave. Hopefully, for the kids' sake, the DD will catch her out with this vile abuser, tell a teacher, and SS will get involved. Those children deserve more than an abuser and his/her enabler.

LEAVE THE BASTARD!!