Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

worried about social services

215 replies

mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 17:28

i have heard in the news alot of bad press about childrens social services. can any social workers in here put my mind at rest and tell me what the reasons are for removing a child ?

OP posts:
GrimAndHumourless · 27/10/2012 18:23

(Mutny sorry to be a bit of a Grump but you know, a wheelchair can be liberating, not confining. Better to say wheelchair user, yes? okay, grump over)

mysecretworld it all sounds a mess. I am hoping that others here can help you

MrsDeVere · 27/10/2012 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:25

she was NOT being monitered in the mother and baby unit, she went there so that she was in a place that her ex could not find her or make contact with her.

i know she has had no contact with him as she got a restraining order on him after she left as he assaullted her 3 days after the baby was born.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 27/10/2012 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirBoobAlot · 27/10/2012 18:28

A friend of mine has lost custody of her child because of something someone else did that put him at risk.

I know she did everything she could to protect him. But if you have just read the facts, and not actually known the person for years, you can understand why it is considered best for the child for him to be removed from her care.

Social services don't just come in and take babies. Its a last resort, and only done when felt that the child is at serious risk.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but don't think you have the whole story.

seeker · 27/10/2012 18:29

She is not telling you everything.

What happens when she asks what she has to do to get the baby back?

mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:29

both my sons are being assessed by ss to be a carer for him. i think it was a mother and baby unit as everyone there had children but it may have been a refuge.

OP posts:
Eurostar · 27/10/2012 18:32

This sounds really sad for you all Secret but it sounds like your daughter is involved with a dangerous man and at this time social services have made protecting her baby a priority? There's no easy answer to this it would seem. It sounds like baby is in danger being with her because she is in danger from her partner if he attacked her only recently since the birth? If she is looking at going to a new area with no support to hide from him I guess they need to know that she is strong enough to deal with that very difficult situation. It's wrong of course, he is the dangerous one who should be locked away but he has got away with it. Sounds like they think though she might end up with another abusive man? Does she has a history of relationships where she is abused?

How old is your DD?

mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:32

ss have said she has to prove that she can be on her own and not be dependant on a partner ( ie boyfriend) also that she can make a good home for him and keep him safe from any incidents of violence.

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 27/10/2012 18:33

It sounds like they believe she is unable to adequately keep her child safe - she obviously didn't leave after the first dv. There will be stuff you don't know.

Spero · 27/10/2012 18:33

A court can only make an interim care order under section 31 of the Children Act if a child is suffering or is at risk of suffering significant harm because of parent's care (or lack of it) or if child is beyond parental control.

It is a two stage test. First, the LA must prove on balance of probabilities that the case 'crosses the threshold' I.e. There MUST be facts proved that demonstrate risk of significant harm. Once that risk is proved, the court then asks itself if it is right to make a care order, or should it be a supervision order or no order at all.

I am afraid in cases of DV it is very common for women to say they will leave a violent partner but still contact him secretly. This clearly puts child at risk.

If you think a care order has been made unlawfully for no reason then your daughter must appeal against the making of this order or apply for it's discharge. She will have a solicitor paid for by Legal Services Commission, if she doesn't like him/her, get another one.

If you feel you are being unfairly overlooked as carer or support, apply to intervene or become a party. You may not get free legal representation but you can turn up at court.

Don't seek advice from the websites/indivduals who talk about 'fighting' Social Sevices or tell you they work to baby snatching quotas. You will do your case enormous harm.

Challenge decisions you don't agree with evidence and a good lawyer. Otherwise co-operate and engage.

In my experience children are not removed under a ppo (police protection order) without very good reason.

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:33

Mutny sorry to be a bit of a Grump but you know, a wheelchair can be liberating, not confining. Better to say wheelchair user, yes? okay, grump over)

No YOU thinks its better. My mum is a wheel chair user and uses this term (and is ok with others saying it) and the OP is acting like its a confining. She is claiming that being in a wheel chair means you can't care for kids so not liberating. But confining.

Ok grump over.

Wingedharpy · 27/10/2012 18:34

And she's your daughter so, quite naturally, you are upset to see her upset - but sometimes, you can be too close to a situation to see clearly.

IMHO the best thing you can do for your daughter (and Grandson) right now is to encourage her to do everything asked of her by SS and to be patient.

Resist the urge to slag off the social workers and encourage your daughter not to slag them off either. (though wanting to rant in these circumstances is understandable but rant on here rather than with/in earshot of your daughter).

It sounds as if it's her poor choice in men that has led your daughter to this point and if she can be helped to avoid that in the future it can only be a good thing for her as well as her son.

LineRunner · 27/10/2012 18:34

So there was a Police Protection Order, and then an Interim Care Order? But while your daughter was being monitored in what might have been a Mother and Baby Unit, a full care Order was issued by the court? Do I have the gist of it?

rainbowinthesky · 27/10/2012 18:34

mysecretworld - that seems fair enough no? Surely that's what you want for your dd anyway?
Once she has this then she will get her child back.

Sassybeast · 27/10/2012 18:35

I think you have to consider that despite what she is telling you, she probably has been/still is in touch with him. And all that SS need to prove that is a facebook or text message.

mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:36

her last 2 boyfriends were violent but since she split with babys dad she has been on her own. it was her that split from him. she had been in the unit for 6 weeks when they came and took the baby.

OP posts:
mutny · 27/10/2012 18:36

So there has been an incident since the baby was born?

Also she will have been monitored where ever she went. They may not be obvious about it, but she will have been.

rainbowinthesky · 27/10/2012 18:36

So actually you do know the reasons.

Spero · 27/10/2012 18:37

I can't see how a final care order could be made if a parent was still being assessed. LA will put in it's final evidence when assessments are complete, parent responds, Guardian writes final report and it is listed for a final hearing which normally takes at least three days if contested with all parties giving evidence.

MrsDeVere · 27/10/2012 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:39

Ok OP. What's going on?
your earlier post says baby was taken 2 weeks ago. But she had bee. In the unit for 6 weeks at that point. Baby is 6 months.

So where was she for 4 months?

Spero · 27/10/2012 18:40

So she has three violent relationships on the trot? She is going to need to accept quite intensive intervention or I doubt she will be parenting any child. Sorry, it's hard to hear. But she needs help. SW doing their job. The impact on children who have to grow up watching/hearing their mother being beaten is massive. It blights their whole lives.

MrsDeVere · 27/10/2012 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 27/10/2012 18:41

Well, Spero, exactly. And you know your stuff.