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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

worried about social services

215 replies

mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 17:28

i have heard in the news alot of bad press about childrens social services. can any social workers in here put my mind at rest and tell me what the reasons are for removing a child ?

OP posts:
Original poster
mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 17:58

we have both done everything that ss have asked us to do.
they want her to have some assesments done which she have agreed to do.
before he was took i went to every appointment she ever went to and was there when the hv came and the hv had no issues with her parenting.

OP posts:
maddening · 27/10/2012 17:59

Could your daughter have any issues that would raise concern?

My mum's friend's son was/is a violent drug addict and his gf had some sn (not sure of her finer details). She went into a mother and baby unit to be assessed after the birth and it was decided that she was not capable of looking after the baby.

The baby was removed from her care and was placed with my mum's friend as opposed to going into the care system. He is now being raised by her.

I don't know what it was that made them decide she could not look after her son though.

Could you put yourself forward to be assessed for care of dgc?

They should be able to explain the reasons for their decision -have you asked them?

MrsDeVere · 27/10/2012 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:00

it says risk of future emotional abuse.

ss have said its because of her violent ex.

the father has had no contact with his son and has threatened my daughter.

my daughter would not let him see his son because of his temper and his drug use.

OP posts:
mutny · 27/10/2012 18:01

Somethings not right OP and you say you know everything so are you leaving something out?

The court papers will say exactly why the baby has been removed, it doesn't take a solicitor to tell the reasons.

LineRunner · 27/10/2012 18:02

Your solicitor should have a copy of the court order (the care order), and he or she should have shown it to your daughter. Social services should have discussed it with your daughter.

There must have been grounds - reasons - given to the court.

It would be really hepful for you to know what they were.

seeker · 27/10/2012 18:02

As far as I am aware, the child could not have been removed without a court order. Which would state the reasons. What were they?

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:02

And you can be considered. A wheelchair is not an exclusion.

LineRunner · 27/10/2012 18:04

Future emotional abuse from ...? The court order would have to say.

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:04

it says risk of future emotional abuse.

Who is the emotional abuse from? What the father did would be dc not ea afaik.

Original poster
mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:06

the reasons i put above are the reasons they are using against my daughter.
the solicitor has questioned the order but has had no other info given to him by ss. my daughter is now on a parenting course and has just got herself a house in a different area so that her ex cant find her.

she is doing everything to prove she is a good mum but she is getting nowhere

OP posts:
Original poster
mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:08

Who is the emotional abuse from? What the father did would be dc not ea afaik. i dont understand certain bit of this ??????

whats ea ?
whats dc ?
whats afaik ?

OP posts:
seeker · 27/10/2012 18:10

What have the social workers said to her on the visits leading up to the court order being served?

Who do they think the emotional abuse is going to come from?

Why did your dd on a parenting course?

AgentZigzag · 27/10/2012 18:15

EA is emotional abuse.

DC are the 'darling/dear' children.

AFAIK is 'as far as I know'.

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:16

Ea = emotional abuse
Dc should have been dv ( autocorrect is shit) which is domestic abuse.
afaik = as far as I know.

What are the reason they think your dd will emotionally abuse her child?

Original poster
mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:16

the first time a social worker turned up she took the baby on a ppo, they then went to court and get an intrim care order on him.

he say she will either go back to the dad or her next partner will be abussive as she tends to go for that type of male.

she is doing a parenting course because she wants to she ss she loves her son and is doing everything to prove she can keep him safe.

she has asked to go on a domestic violence course as well because of her ex. as these courses are ment to show you how to spot the signs in relationships.

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 27/10/2012 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShutTheFrontDoor · 27/10/2012 18:17

mysecretworld. If your daughter is doing everything they ask of her and is proving to be a good mum, then, in my experience they will return the dc to her.
Social services do believe that the best place for a child is with the parents. Obviously this has to be a safe and nurturing environment but please don't worry that she will never get her child back.
Unless there is something you aren't telling us and she is having no further contact with the childs father then hopefully she will get her child back.

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:17

Sorry dv is domestic violence.

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:19

Yes mrsdevere but the OP claims to have been refused based on that alone. Being confinded to a wheel chair is not an automatic exclusion. There would be other reasons given.

tutu100 · 27/10/2012 18:20

Was your daughter still in the mother and baby unit when the child was removed? Are you sure she has had no contact with her ex. I mean any at all. Phone call/text sent photo anything.

They must have been very concerned over something very serious if she was already being monitored at a mother and baby unit. Was the baby removed out of the blue or was your daughter aware of it being a possibility?

Original poster
mysecretworld · 27/10/2012 18:20

no ss have never been involved with our family.
i have 1 daughter and 2 sons.
i have 4 grandchildren but only my daughters boy has been taken by ss. my eldest son has 2 girls and my youngest son has a girl also. so my daughters boy is my first grandson.
ss were not involved with me when i had my children or with me as a child.

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 27/10/2012 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 27/10/2012 18:20

So the very first time your dd saw a social worker it was when they came to take the baby? And the baby was not in any immediate danger?

I'm sorry, but I don't think you are getting the whole story. I think your daughter is hiding something from you.

tutu100 · 27/10/2012 18:21

I forgot to ask how long ago was the baby removed?