to pretend that state school is not so bad...

[RichTeas]

We are in an area with no shortage of preps and indies; the state schools are not bad, but for us, definitely not the preferred option. Yet it looks like it's going to be state all the way through. So far DS (Y3) doesn't have any idea of the types of schools that exist, as we have never openly discussed it, but I expect soon he will be clued up enough to question the system he finds himself in. It feels disingenuous to fib that we're happy with just a state education (when we're not), yet we don't want him to grow up feeling he's missed out by over-egging the independents. I suppose it could be worse, he could be in private and then forced to come out, but the issues is the same I wonder how others explain this kind of mismatch...

Why not just accept that the whole world does not need to subscribe the idea that state education is the way to go.
OP. You obviously have to accept it's the way to go.
You can only CHOOSE if you can afford to have a CHOICE.

It is a rather pointless subject. OP can't afford it so there is no point in even giving it a thought- she just has to do what 93% of the population do and make the best of state education. Just tell the DCs that you can't afford it- it won't come as a surprise- they must have worked out by now that some people can afford more than others.