to pretend that state school is not so bad...

[RichTeas]

We are in an area with no shortage of preps and indies; the state schools are not bad, but for us, definitely not the preferred option. Yet it looks like it's going to be state all the way through. So far DS (Y3) doesn't have any idea of the types of schools that exist, as we have never openly discussed it, but I expect soon he will be clued up enough to question the system he finds himself in. It feels disingenuous to fib that we're happy with just a state education (when we're not), yet we don't want him to grow up feeling he's missed out by over-egging the independents. I suppose it could be worse, he could be in private and then forced to come out, but the issues is the same I wonder how others explain this kind of mismatch...

In my defence I allow my DC to watch endless hours of inappropriate American TV. And DS is partial to a Greggs suasage roll. I feel this evens the playing field no?

oh ok if they partake in a pastry now and then ,

No Wordfactory, your children are the ones who are cheating. No matter what they achieve in life, it won't count. Apparently.

After each visit to the orthodontist DS and I call in Greggs. He has a large suasage roll and I have a Yum Yum.

Worries that ensuring DC have perfect teeth is cheating.

NO you are letting him coat his teeth in yum yum you are one of us

I bloody love yum yums

I think I have the perfect balance - parents who left school at 14, I was state grammar educated and ds is at private school on a scholarship. I think that reduces the 'cheating' element

thats kinda like paying it forward bisjo

I see your parents leaving school at 14 and raise you living on a sink estate...

your son will earn so much that he will pay for his own children's education well what with his private education cheating an all that

I went to primary school on a sink estate (weirdly as we it wasn't the closest school to where we lived). Does that count?

Mrsjay I think at the very least my ds should be expected to pay for an entire village of dcs education.

I think it might count, yes...humph...shuffles up to allow bis on winners' podium. Passes celebratory Yum Yum.

I'd have to eat the yum yum rather than ds - I can't afford to pay for his education and his teeth

If your child ever questions it, just tell him that private schools are for less able children whose parents have lots of money and choose to buy them a privileged start where they only meet other privileged kids. Since he is brilliant in every way you knew he wouldn't need that kind of unfair advantage in life, will do really well in any good school, (which his is) and will also benefit in life from having friends from all kinds of backgrounds.

If he turns round at 10 or so and says he wants to go to a private school like Tarquin then tell him to go get a scholarship.

(I actually looked at private schools with both of mine as part of looking at secondary options, and came to the conclusion that the local comp had better facilities and teaching. So they went to the local comp, DD has graduated from Cambridge and DS is at Exeter Uni).

Wholeheartedly get behind the school you have chosen to send your children to and then add lots of music and sport classes and museum trips if you think they're missing out.

I can't afford to pay for his education and his teeth

I will never get a yum yum I left school and 16 and went to a comp and (gasp) never went to uni

well done to both your children missy

I wouldn't sent my children private even if THEY paid ME.

They're places where children are brainwashed to believe they are better than everyone else in society, just because their parents have money.

I want my children to grow up respecting people for who they are, and NOT what they have.

I think your attitude stinks OP

fluffy your attitude doesn't read any better than the OPs imvho.

Have not read past the front page here- personally I'd say it's what the child themself makes of their education and the opportunities that are presented.

I went to state schools down the road when I was growing up, did lots of sports and extra-curricular activities. I went on to university, gained 2 degrees and am now working as a doctor in the NHS.

Quite a few girls I knew from the local private schools did pretty average, I got better GCSEs and A-level grades than the lot of them- the difference was that my parents didn't have to she'll out a small fortune for my education.
Some of the girls went completely off the rails and barely scraped any exams- how disappointed must the parents have been after shelling out all that money on a private education, what a crap return on their 'investment'

I'm not a parent yet, but for my future children it will be state schools all the way...

bisjo.....the message private school kids are given is that they are the privileged few, and more deserving of opportunities than anyone else, just because their parents pay for it. That doesn't sit well with me, sorry.

fluffy I'm sorry that is your personal experience of private school.

It doesn't bear any relation to the two private schools ds has attended and nor is it the message given to pupils at other private schools I know.

yzzyy, so pleased to hear to your story. Be ready for when for when home comforts make "going back" hard. It's normal - and lasts 15 minutes when they actually get back.

I'm with Fluffy the girls I knew from the local private schools, I met them through sporting fixtures & tournaments.

I certainly remember them having an air of superiority and making it clear to us lot that we were state school inferiors. Ha ha- we wiped the smirks off their faces on the hockey pitches and tennis courts when we won our matches! Ooh I'm getting all nostalgic now...

amandine I guess their 'cheating' didn't help them then?

Why do people who don't agree with private school think its acceptable to say that private schools are for children that aren't as bright? It's really starting to piss me off! How the hell would you like it if I said I thought state schools were crap?? And full of children that were thick? Would that be acceptable? Why is it ok to bash well off people who you know nothing about on the basis that they happen to send their children to a fee paying school, but yet if it was the other way round and a well off person was derogatory about say a benefit claimant there's total outrage? Some of the posters just sound incredible ignorant.

Sorry just saw I got you confused with another poster beg with a

Scarlett that would be ok as you would just be speaking the truth