Yes please! I would LOVE a laminated wankbadger!
I will take it with me the next time I go to the local National Trust pre-schoolers activity. And I will wave it at Massively Competitive Mum when her child steals DS1's sticks and she just coos "Oh dear. He just wants to make the best wildlife house". And then I will bash her with it when she treads on DS1's depleted wildlife house as she trips off after her offspring.
And I will brandish it at Completely Stupid Mums who moan and chunter because they think the volunteer should come and tell the story from the other side of the groundsheet, because their children are facing the wrong way. Despite the fact that the majority of the children are facing the right way and would have to move if the storytelling was approached from the opposite side of the groundsheet.
And then I will smack Over Entitled Grandfather around the head with it when he clears his table onto mine, just as I am about to put my tray down, leaving me tottering with a laden tray and nowhere to put it. And when he says, when challenged about the --twattishness- unreasonablness of this action, "well I don't see why I should have to clear the tables", I will roll up the laminated wankbadger and shove it up his lazy arse.
And when I am unable to get beyond the step of the bus back up the hill because Massive Buggy-Wielding Mum won't fold her massive buggy and is blocking the whole aisle, I shall spring over said massive buggy and slap her about the face with the laminated wankbadger.
I will love my laminated wankbadger. It will make me happy.
Probably better not use it on non-sleeping DSs though.....