To want this mum to get her comeupance

[Tryingtobenice]

Ok so IABU and I don't really want there to be any impact as that would mean her baby is unhappy but...

WIBU to want to stamp my foot a bit and tantrum 'it's not fair!'?

I have ebf on demand, very much baby driven parenting, carrying her everywhere because she doesn't much like being put down (screams if you try). She is in a side of bed cot or our bed each night. I've done all I can to meet her needs so she doesn't scream the house down is happy and secure.

My friend has instilled a routine at 2 weeks, night weaned/ sleep trained from 8 weeks and has had her in her own room from 12 weeks.

The outcome just seems so unfair.

My baby is lovely, very alert and lively and is happy most of the time, but we still have to keep her entertained fairly labour intensively and she hasn't slept for more than 3 hours at a stretch in 5 months.

Friend's baby could be an advert for Gina Ford. Content, calm, sleeps through. She wakes up at 5am but "we just leave her to chat to herself until 7"!

If i left my DD for more than 10 mins we would be at defcon 1, full screaming, real tears, purple face.

2 different parents, 2 different babies, 2 different approaches and 2 different outcomes.

What if i listened to the wrong advice? What if I have 'made a rod for my own back'?

AIBU to even just a little bit hope that friend's DD is a really badly behaved, insecure nuisance as a todler?

I don't really get how Gina Ford is seen as the polar opposite to Baby led parenting. I'd consider myself as one of those ' lentil weavery attachment' parents ( whatever the hell that means) and I found Gina Ford very helpful. I stopped using her routines mainly because they were too tough on MY schedule, but DS seemed content with them. Certainly no controlled crying/ leaving him to scream/ starve neccessary. Anyway I do apologise as this comment has nothing to do with anything [ blush]

I agree - when adapted to suit you the Gina schedules really helped. Just do the bits you like. No CIO here too and one very happy baby.

Ok. I had sworn off this thread but I came back to reiterate that it was a joke. At least the bit about wishing any bad on my friend was just a lighthearted exaggeration of the frustration I have felt.

I was intending to poke fun at much of the advice on mumsnet parenting and behaviour forum, very much anti Gina over there and I have taken a lot to heart and fussed over my baby something chronic. I am now looking at my mate and thinking more fool me!

Badly written obviously. I have lots of time to think of these things (1am, 4am, 5am) but only seconds to type it out one handed!

I am jealous of my friend, god yes, find me the mum of a non sleeper who isn't jealous of the sleep through the night baby's mum! But not bitter, ever, that would mean I wasn't happy with my beautiful girl.

That said my friend is also about 10 times more organised and 100 times less lazy than me. Two weeks after giving birth she was getting up at 6am to shower and straiten her hair before her DH went to work! By that stage I had just about rediscovered the hair bobble and dry shampoo. So yes, she has an easy baby but there are a few other differences as well.

Anyway, hopefully this will stop everyone from being so unnecessarily angry.

Knew it was a jokey thread and didn't get people being mad at you. Not too late to start a bit of a routine ang just do the bits that suit you. I never did 7am till 7pm as baby woke too early so I put him to bed a bit later. Also when my DS started the clingy phase, I tried really hard not to pick him up all the time and distracted him with toys. Get them playing with something then walk out of site for a bit at a time. In time it works and they know you will come back. Good luck

You have my full sympathy OP and I soooo know exactly where you are coming from.

I was jealous too although I loved my friend with the east baby to bits and she was incredibly supportive. I just felt that I must be doing something wrong although I know now that I wasn't.

Things will balance out - you'll see when you have the energy to keep your eyes open long enough to look in a couple of years

blimey!! FWIW now.... My first (boy) didn't sleep through until he was 3 YEARS OLD!!! I thought all babies were like that, so when i had my girl (8 weeks prem) I was shocked amazed and delighted when she slept through from 6 weeks!!! In most other ways they are pretty similar so far!
Really do think most of it is down to individual babies personalities!! It will soon change for both of you, my dream sleeping baby girl is now practically nocturnal with teething!! Thank your lucky stars you have a baby and a healthy one at that, (sure you do really!) :)

AIBU to not know who the fuck Gina Ford is??!!

Ha ha! To some she is a God..to others the Devil!

Don't worry about it, op. As in rl, there are always some literalist humourless people around, it's just here they get to join together and show their nasty side without the rl risk. At least you didn't threaten to strap a rocket to your friend. That way, lawsuits lie

Arf at mercibucket

Blimey op, hope you're ok and not busy flogging yourself for favouring irony as a humour source.

I think you've had an uncalled for pasting OP! Fwiw, I've been in your situation and it's really easy to think you're doing something wrong. It all works out though, as they get older, my demand fed DS was sleeping through by 8 months. Looking at my DS and my friend's DS, they're at a similar stage of development now, and both happy, confident toddlers, even though their early months were very different in terms of routine.

Oh, and don't worry about making a rod for your own back, either!

I'd totally agree with Burn. One of my best friends and me had very different "styles" when our eldest 2 were babies - she was very routine based, I was very "child-led" (fortunately we both respected each others style and didn't criticise etc). Anyway, fast forward 5 years, and we both have 5 year olds who (usually) go to bed without a fuss and sleep all night. We also have 3 year olds who can be slightly higher maintenance at night... They are so so similar and yet the way they both started life was so different.

This thread is the most extraordinary piece of mob mentality I've seen for a long time. Have you all taken leave of your senses?

OP was joking Time to leave her alone

Blimey posters calm down! I'm sure the op was just trying to be a little Tongue in cheek and knows she is Unreasonsble. Babies are different and sometimes no amount of routine will change them - just remember, young babies who wake a lot, feed a lot etc are acting very naturally and normal. Gina ford routines were created for parents - not babies!