To want this mum to get her comeupance

[Tryingtobenice]

Ok so IABU and I don't really want there to be any impact as that would mean her baby is unhappy but...

WIBU to want to stamp my foot a bit and tantrum 'it's not fair!'?

I have ebf on demand, very much baby driven parenting, carrying her everywhere because she doesn't much like being put down (screams if you try). She is in a side of bed cot or our bed each night. I've done all I can to meet her needs so she doesn't scream the house down is happy and secure.

My friend has instilled a routine at 2 weeks, night weaned/ sleep trained from 8 weeks and has had her in her own room from 12 weeks.

The outcome just seems so unfair.

My baby is lovely, very alert and lively and is happy most of the time, but we still have to keep her entertained fairly labour intensively and she hasn't slept for more than 3 hours at a stretch in 5 months.

Friend's baby could be an advert for Gina Ford. Content, calm, sleeps through. She wakes up at 5am but "we just leave her to chat to herself until 7"!

If i left my DD for more than 10 mins we would be at defcon 1, full screaming, real tears, purple face.

2 different parents, 2 different babies, 2 different approaches and 2 different outcomes.

What if i listened to the wrong advice? What if I have 'made a rod for my own back'?

AIBU to even just a little bit hope that friend's DD is a really badly behaved, insecure nuisance as a todler?

Oh FGS...OP please try to ignore the people who want to stick the boot in. It's their issue - not yours. People have hard lives and come on here looking for an outlet so they can just be a bastard to someone - any excuse usually.

Just take no notice - the sane majority don't think you've done anything awful.

I haven't read the replies but I can imagine. There's nothing wrong in how you are feeling and no one can tell you how to feel. After having a dream baby in so many ways my second continues to be a nightmare in many ways. I totally get where you are coming from. It feels so unfair, you are doing everything for the best of your baby and they aren't playing fair

Wierd how they all slither out from under their bridge at the same time.

I think when it's the middle of the night loads of people are just pissed. That's what I assume when the abuse starts anyway.

Poor OP - so obvious a light hearted/silly/knowingly unreasonable post.

Some people on this site need to get a serious grip.

Here - have one on me [a grip]

I'd argue that attention is a perfectly valid need.

In the case of my own children, I don't agree, not all the time anyway... my DS just grizzled to himself very quietly for a short time before going to sleep when he realised the show was over and he was down for the night (it was a very different cry to other cries). Went on for a few days before he just got to sleep on his own. But I can't speak for anyone else's experiences.

And just to add OP, someone can have a baby who sleeps a lot of the time and barely cries and THEN becomes high maintenance from about 3 onwards (I know, I have one , I'm just hoping she reverts back to her angelic baby-ness when she's a teenager!!). So I figure it always goes pear-shaped for a while at some age anyway...

I haven't read all the replies, but I just wanted to say that my DS2 was an angel baby. I didn't "sleep-train" him - he just slept through naturally from a couple of weeks old. He was placid, would sit in his highchair happily while I pottered around doing housework. He was an absolute delight.

At his two year check, because he wasn't speaking yet (hit every other milestone perfectly) - he was referred to speech therapy. After a flurry of appointments and concerned professionals, he was diagnosed with severe Childhood Autism. He is now 6, and a lot more challenging.

Be careful what you wish for. [wry smile]

YANBU, smug routine driven Mother's are the most irritating people on the planet.

Look how quickly they jumped on you at the start of this thread.

Here's hoping they all have toddlers that tantrum in public at least twice a week.

That's lovely startail. What a pleasant human being you sound

You sound anxious OP, quite possibly your DD is picking up on this, and it's unsettling her. Try being a little bit more laissez faire about things, and help her (and you) learn to relax more.

And please don't worry about other people having perfect chilled out babies, ime it all evens out when they turn into teenagers and they all turn into hellions

OP said herself IABU in her opening line, and later on said her friend would have a good laugh about it, so hope she comes back to MN when the dust settles.

The combination of language and self-mockery in the OP made it blindingly clear that it was tongue in cheek. The OP has every right to surprised at the number of people who failed to notice it....

I don't really understand unless your friend has been unkind and made unpleasant comments about your way (been there no anger like it).

why does she need to be punished.

YANBU, smug routine driven Mother's are the most irritating people on the planet.

Look how quickly they jumped on you at the start of this thread.

I replied way back pages ago I wasn't routine driven all people were trying to point our is all babies are different it doesn't matter what you do some babies cry and whinge , and you sound just as pissed off as the OP, yes she may have been 'joking' and 'lighthearted' but still a teeny tiny bit pissed off,

OP - YABU but you quite obviously know that in your post...though a lot of people seem to have missed the irony dripping off it.

We all think unpleasant things time to time that do not exactly reflect our better nature. So what? Her baby is lovely,but so is yours! I'm sure you'll feel better when she's got sleeping down. A friend of mine ( who bf) was recently celebrating her first full nights sleep,her baby is just over 6 months.

You'd probably do well to ignore people calling you "a cunt". I did't realise grown women really used it in general vocabulary. Nobody I know does.

unpleasant thoughts*. Bloody iPhone!

"2 different parents, 2 different babies, 2 different approaches and 2 different outcomes."

You've summed it up yourself above.

Don't get why you'd wish anything bad on someone else though? maybe it was ment to be 'funny' or 'light' - didn't come across that way.

Parenting is all swings and roundabouts. Focus on your own actions - what anyone else does re parenting their child will have minimal impact on you - unless you allow yourself to fester in a pit of jealousy.

Scratch the surface of the op post and you find the competitiveness that is the secret shame of THe Lentil Weaving Baby Wearing Smugmachine. They want a medal for being so "natural". It isn't. that is when the realisation clicks in that they haven't got a clue what they are doing and panic.
I know someone the same. has hotchpotched bits she likes the look of and lives in a whirl of confusion, reaction and last minuteness. she is exhausted and v.unhappy but I know she wouldn't have it any other way. no way I could do it. and the levels of tension that surround them are mind blowing, we scuttle off when it looks likely to explode. very wearing to be around.

The whole grizzle thing is baby specific too though... until I had my third baby, I genuinely didn't see how a baby could possibly wake up a bit, grizzle (ie not cry) and then go back to sleep... with my first two, awake meant cry which just got louder and louder until I went and got them. My third, though, actually "self settles " and it is blooming amazing! (And nothing special I've done).

Sour grapes, I,m afraid. Accept it. Some people are just lucky.

What a horrible thread - poor you, OP, you touched a raw collective nerve here somehow.

I read the OP and chortled - its clearly not serious. Does ironic writing just totally pass by most of the posters here? Or is it just that black and white on a screen can't convey adequately a wry smile or an exasperated expression enough to avoid people just reading what they want into a post?

Did all those who verbally abused the OP really think for a moment she meant it?

Maybe we need a new topic on here - 'AIBU but I don't really mean it' - then people who want to reply wouldn't have to take just a tiny pause to think through what they've read and to try to catch the nuance...

The key to happiness (in anything) is to never compare yourself to others. Be happy with what you have and do things in your own way. You are lucky to have a lovely healthy baby, some people would be content with just that.