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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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"There's nothing to eat in this house!" - DS17 complains

345 replies

flow4 · 18/10/2012 01:15

Apparently there is "nothing to eat" and I am "vindicktive" because I won't give DS(17) money for a kebab and I'm "leaving him with no T and in a foul mood". (The swearing and nasty verbal abuse he's given me are evidence of that Hmm ).

We have in our cupboards/freezer, right now: pasta (spaghetti, fusilli and macaroni), rice, bread, flour, cereal (tho no milk cos he drank it all), pizza bases, eggs, cheese, tins of beans and tomatoes, veg sausages, veg burgers, onions, courgettes, mushrooms, toms, apples, pears, tinned tuna and sardines... Not to mention the nuts, lentils, chickpeas, etc... And more...

Oh, and I did make tea - a veg/tofu stir-fry with rice - and saved him some although he wasn't home, which he has now eaten...

But he "wants to eat something that doesn't look like it comes out of a rabbit's arse" (i.e. veggie food=rabbit droppings)

He wanted a kebab, bacon, crisps, biscuits, a ready meal... Something junky, basically.

I didn't want to buy him a kebab partly because we have plenty of food in, partly because I think junk food is a waste of money, but largely because he was being rude.

I think he's being unreasonable, probably because he's hungry... But am I also BU not to buy him a kebab? And more generally, AIBU -

  • to expect him to make himself something out of what we have in the cupboards?
  • not to keep a constant supply of snacks/junk food in the house?
  • to expect him to be polite when he asks me for money, even if he's hungry?
OP posts:
seeker · 18/10/2012 14:08

"And what would people say if the oP was talking about herhusband calling her a bitch because she wouldn't get him a kebab?

Would there be posts saying 'well of course that is unacceptable but you have to see his view, he was tired and stroppy and because he is a man he NEEDS meat?'"

Yep. There are.

ethelb · 18/10/2012 14:22

jeeze, when I was 17, so scratch that 15+ not that many years ago if I was hungry at 1am that was my fault for not being in bed and I would not have DREAMT of expecting my parents to have done anything about it. In fact I would have been pissed off if they had dared to be so interfering Grin.

People are not realising that he could have a) bought his own kebab b) made a burger or sausage and egg sandwich, had cheese on toast, had sardines on toast, beans on toast, with loads of protein infront of him in less than 10-15mins and c) could have eaten his dinner earlier so he wasn't starving at 1am.

TeddyBare · 18/10/2012 14:28

YANBU. Your DS was totally out of order and I hope he has now apologised.
As for the meat / veggie debate, men don't "need" meat any more than women do and throughout the world and for most of history meat has been a luxury which is eaten once or twice per week maximum, even by men. Her ds does not need meat at all and certainly doesn't need it every day. I understand not trying to force a teenager to eat something they don't like, but there is a difference between forcing someone who doesn't like rice to eat rice and not giving someone the meal they would have chosen if a menu had been offered. Not providing his favourite food on demand is not depriving him of anything.

BreconBeBuggered · 18/10/2012 14:38

For those who think you have to pick your battles with teenage DC, I really think this is one of them. Refraining from verbal abuse and being able to put together a simple snack independently at 17 are pretty basic things to expect.

ethelb · 18/10/2012 14:40

why were you up at 1am btw?

chocoluvva · 18/10/2012 14:55

And even if the OP didn't ever buy him meat he can still eat meat when's he's away form the house - it isn't forcing him to be a vegetarian.

lottiegarbanzo · 18/10/2012 15:04

None of you bought me a takeaway. I had to make my own lunch! So unfair.

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:11

Nope! Sorry - you are all wrong on this one.

Tofu and rice and veg is rabbit food.

Believe me - he needs meat. Its not a choice. Its a necessity. Really unless you have lived inside a man's body. Vegetable protein just is not enough.

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:12

My advice is get plenty of sausages, burgers, bacon, fish steaks and eggs in the freezer. Problem solved.

ethelb · 18/10/2012 15:13

show me the paper MoreBeta.

And how the human race have survived so long with far less availability of meat.

panicnotanymore · 18/10/2012 15:13

Morebeta - is that a fact? Weird then that the only vegetarians I know are men. They are all alive too. Amazing.....

ethelb · 18/10/2012 15:13

she had sausages and burgers in the freezer.

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:13

OK. I'll let you can keep the egggs in the fridge. Blush

chocoluvva · 18/10/2012 15:14

Aww, lottie what a shame! You have been hard done by haven't you? You're a grown woman and I understand you need your takeaways and you've been forced to make your own lunch now.

And you were tired and hungry before too - poor leetle-eetle you. I'll quite understand if you need to be verbally abusive. :o

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:14

Well why didnt he get offered sausages and burgers then?

chocoluvva · 18/10/2012 15:17

Most sausages have quite a low proportion of protein as they are so high in fat and carby fillers.

BreconBeBuggered · 18/10/2012 15:20

You are taking the piss, Morebeta. Surely a 17-year-old could have prepared his own burger, or do you think his manly constitution was fatally weakened by the stir-fry?

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:20

Well obviously you need to buy good quality sausage. Proper man sausage.

Don't even get me started on vegetarian sausages. A contradiction in terms if I ever saw one. Hmm

Snorbs · 18/10/2012 15:20

MoreBeta, maybe because he was acting like a rude, self-entitled cock?

ethelb · 18/10/2012 15:22

I understood that he could have just gone to the freezer, pulled them out cooked them and eaten them but chose not to.

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:22

HE WANTED MEAT!

chocoluvva · 18/10/2012 15:23

According to Patrick Holford, a highly respected nutritionist "most people need no more than 35g [of protein] a day".
That would be provided by two lamb chops. So even if he ate nothing else he would have got his protein requirements.

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:24

Maybe he wanted to be asked what he wanted for tea or at least given a choice.

ethelb · 18/10/2012 15:24

He wasn't there when the rest of the family were cooking and eating.

MoreBeta · 18/10/2012 15:25

Its the combination of amino acids that matters - protein is not just protein. Veg protein is different from meat protein.

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