Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't have to miss next weeks' swimming because he was naughty?

192 replies

KirstyJC · 17/10/2012 17:53

Today DS1 (9) had his weekly swimming lesson with school. He and quite a few other kids misbehaved in the changing room afterwards, and as a result he (and they) has been told he won't be allowed to go swimming next week.

Now, I have no problem with him being punished for being naughty - he has to respect what the teachers say and if he didn't then it is absolutely right that he gets into trouble for that. He isn't normally in trouble and I want this to be nipped in the bud and don't want him to think he can get away with it.

But, I don't think banning him from swimming is right, surely? I mean, would they do that for maths - a kid is naughty in a maths lesson so they get to miss the next maths lesson? I don't think so! As far as I know, swimming is on the curriculum and shouldn't be looked upon as a treat that can be witheld, but as a compulsory lesson that he shouldn't miss. He could stay in for break, write lines etc as a more suitable punishment.

I admit I am a bit biased as we rarely go swimming as a family so he is a very poor swimmer, and I am really keen for him to go for lessons with school, so perhaps I am crosser than I should be about this. I have also paid for the whole terms' lessons in advance, so if he doesn't go I want my money back. OK so it's not much but they cancelled a lesson last term and we didn't get it back for that either, and it all adds up!

So, MNers, I have my tin hat on - AIBU?

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 17:55

Presumably he enjoys swimming and all that suurounds it more than he enjoys maths. That't the punishment

ChaosTrulyReigns · 17/10/2012 17:55

Sorry, I think it's an appropriate punishment.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 17:56

It's ashame you have to pay for swimming - luckily we don't have to. Although this is probaly more reason to feel cross with him than with the school

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 17:57

Sorry about typos. Ipad

Whoknowswhocares · 17/10/2012 17:57

Absolutely you are being unreasonable!

I honestly can't believe you would think otherwise

FermezLaBouche · 17/10/2012 17:58

I think it's appropriate too, I'm afraid. Taking a large group of children to a public bath can be stressful and relies on the good behaviour off all the children. They're also representing the school. If I had children misbehaving I would also say they need to learn how to act safely an appropriately in public before they're allowed to go.

FermezLaBouche · 17/10/2012 17:59

*of not off

AgentProvocateur · 17/10/2012 18:00

I think it's a fair punishment too. Misbehaving somewhere like a pool reflects badly on the school, and may jeopardise future visits. I wouldn't be asking for money back from the school either - I'd take it out DS's pocket money.

Original poster
KirstyJC · 17/10/2012 18:00

Oh yes, I am most definitely cross with him too!! Whoknows can I ask why is it is so obvious to you why IABU? Honest question, I can't see how banning him from a timetabled lesson is right. Surely staying in at break/lunch is more appropriate?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 17/10/2012 18:00

So what would you do instead?

BeingBooyhoo · 17/10/2012 18:01

is the swimming part of the curriculum. if so then i dont think he can be excluded from in as part of a punishment.

mrsscoob · 17/10/2012 18:01

If they are taking the children off school premises then it is absolutely they correct punishment. Also it can be really dangerous messing about in the changing rooms, the floors are wet and slippy and someone could hurt themselves.

I would be taking the money from your sons pocket money rather than moaning about the school.

Original poster
KirstyJC · 17/10/2012 18:02

Can't take it out of his pocket money either, he doesn't get any now he's started Cubs. (Money is pretty tight atm sadly).

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 18:02

I think that if he's generally well behaved it will do the trick. I believe it's good for the punishment to have a dorect link to the misdemeanour, which lines doesn't

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 18:04

I can see your pov, but i still disagree on balance.

Original poster
KirstyJC · 17/10/2012 18:04

Sirzy - as I said upthread, I would suggest staying in at break time or lunch, maybe lines (if they still do that? Been a while since I was at school!) or similar. I don't know, maybe write an essay on 'Why I should behave at swimming' or something.

OP posts:
mutny · 17/10/2012 18:05

Absolutely the correct punishment, imo.
Its not like missing maths. Swimming is not compulsory. I assume he enjoys swimming more than maths. missing something enjoyable is a punishment. And children are not taken off site for maths.

HongKongPhooy · 17/10/2012 18:06

he is off school premises, representing the school- so i think it is appropriate to keep him back next week

that you pay for it, confuses it slightly- but yes, i dont think you can ask to be refunded. he is not going because he misbehaved; cant be trusted in public

MsHighwater · 17/10/2012 18:07

I think Y might not B completely U. I would take exception to something I'd paid for being withheld, too, and I see your point about withholding a lesson that's on the curriculum. It seems odd that you have to pay extra for something that's a curriculum thing, though.

Whoknowswhocares · 17/10/2012 18:09

Ok, fair question!
IMO the teacher has to make sure that the children are capable of being sensible in what could potentially be a dangerous place. Slippery floors, pools full of water etc etc. If any of the kids gets hurt, who gets the blame? Yep, probably the poor teacher!
What will bring it one to them more than anything is missing out on the fun (and staying behind to do maths or something) while everyone else goes.
Short sharp shock

As a parent I would want that 'life lesson' for my child far more than an isolated swim? Which is why I am surprised at a parent not feeling it appropriate

Original poster
KirstyJC · 17/10/2012 18:09

It is a 'voluntary' payment ie you feel guilted into paying for it but you don't actually have to.

OP posts:
mrsscoob · 17/10/2012 18:09

I presume the school doesn't pay weekly per child. They would pay for the hire of the pool so you cannot really expect a refund if your son isn't allowed to attend. I know my sons afterschool clubs have no refunds policy if a child is ill or cannot attend.

FromEsme · 17/10/2012 18:11

As a teacher, I think it is a totally ridiculous punishment. I don't agree with students missing any part of the curriculum and I don't agree with making swimming seem fun and a treat, and maths as some sort of boring chore. In the right hands, both are fun.

Lines/writing an essay - definitely not. Why make writing seem like a punishment? How are you going to enthuse them about it when you use it as a punishment?

Sirzy · 17/10/2012 18:11

He has misbehaved therefore has shown he isn't well behaved enough to go and represent the school in public and has to miss it. Withdrawal of privilege is much more likely to get a positive response from him

BeatTheClock · 17/10/2012 18:11

If he's being poorly behaved whilst they're doing an offsite activity I can see why they'd stop your ds going next time.

I've helped out on school swimming trips and if people don't behave it's a nightmare and potentially unsafe too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread