To think he shouldn't have to miss next weeks' swimming because he was naughty?

[KirstyJC]

Today DS1 (9) had his weekly swimming lesson with school. He and quite a few other kids misbehaved in the changing room afterwards, and as a result he (and they) has been told he won't be allowed to go swimming next week.

Now, I have no problem with him being punished for being naughty - he has to respect what the teachers say and if he didn't then it is absolutely right that he gets into trouble for that. He isn't normally in trouble and I want this to be nipped in the bud and don't want him to think he can get away with it.

But, I don't think banning him from swimming is right, surely? I mean, would they do that for maths - a kid is naughty in a maths lesson so they get to miss the next maths lesson? I don't think so! As far as I know, swimming is on the curriculum and shouldn't be looked upon as a treat that can be witheld, but as a compulsory lesson that he shouldn't miss. He could stay in for break, write lines etc as a more suitable punishment.

I admit I am a bit biased as we rarely go swimming as a family so he is a very poor swimmer, and I am really keen for him to go for lessons with school, so perhaps I am crosser than I should be about this. I have also paid for the whole terms' lessons in advance, so if he doesn't go I want my money back. OK so it's not much but they cancelled a lesson last term and we didn't get it back for that either, and it all adds up!

So, MNers, I have my tin hat on - AIBU?

Oh please! at 9 he now knows not to do it again or risk missing swimming ... its no doubt possible someone also explained to him why its not on. but at 9 imo a clear set of consequences is best.... i'm sure youre great teacher but i generally prefer practical effective approach - you haven't yet explained what you'd do..

I think it's quite a fair punishment. Children have to learn if they don't behave there are consequences. And it's only one week he misses and all the children who misbehaved had the same punishment. So in this case I think the school is right.

SDT so do you think the teacher who was there, has not considered the children involved and the circumstances???

Can you make mine for me at the same time, please, FromEsme? [hopeful]

and do you consider that in no circumstances' with no particular child, this would be a suitable consequence?

why is it such an unacceptable thing to do?

MrsHoarder

"What other subject has time taken away as a punishment instead of (for example) keeping in at break?"

Technology lessons where the safety of others may be affected by those messing about.

ICT when pupils are blocked from the system due to abusing the system.

science

I don't think you need to punish him at home as well OP. that would be OTT and not bear any relation to his misdemeanour. I just don't get why you don't trust the school to manage behaviour

People are comparing swimming to maths here, but if a child was behaving badly in my maths lesson to the point that they were causing me concern for the safety of other children (as may well be the case at the swimming pool and in a public changing room) or disrupting the learning of others, yes they would miss a maths lesson. They would be removed for the well-being of the class until a suitable solution could be found.

I think you are perfectly within your rights to ask for refund. But he is not missing out on the opportunity to learn to swim as it is just one lesson. Bad behaviour distracts the teacher from being able to maintain the safety and education of others in a high risk environment. So unless I felt the lesson had been learnt why should I risk the other children's well-being the following week?

It depends on the child, but sometimes we make children who have had a "red card" for their behaviour miss sports/p.e. as their consequence , particularly if it is something they like doing. They often have to do extra literacy or maths instead in another classroom.
Sometimes needs must.
It is not ideal, but taking away something they like doing, or the threat of it, is a powerful tool.
Staying in at break or lunchtime is not usually seen as a punishment, it is something that can be endured, but take away swimming/sport,etc then the child is losing something valuable.
We had some children sliding under changing rooms and locking doors from the inside so that they couldn't be opened by anyone else (at our local public pool) ,also, some others taking people's clothes and hiding them in their bags, so that we spent a lot of wasted time looking when we under time constraints to get on a coach back to school in time for home-time.
Missed lunchtime?...I don't think so.

YABU. Perfectly reasonable and appropriate punishment. It is coming across rather as if you are determined to take issue with this in some way, since it is your PFB's first ever instance of misbehaviour - you can't just let the school do it their way, even though it's their job. And the annoyance at him missing swimming sounds very much as if this comes from guilt at not taking him yourself.

He was naughty in swimming changing rooms so he doesn't get to go swimming next week kinda makes sense he is being punished for misbehaving at his activity,

I was thinking the same tryingtobe

I think it's easy to get shocked, upset and ovly analytical about the bad behaviour of our first child - assuming he is you oldest OP.

I know i do it

maths and swimming is different OP what punishment would you like for him ?

Sorry about typos again.

If you've paid then YANBU, if school want to without it, they must refund you the money.

YANBU.

I agree that swimming is important, as are all lessons, and missing a lesson should not be used as a punishment. All children should be entitled to attend all lessons.

I think a detention would be more suitable. There should be a rota where teachers take turns to supervise detentions. Teachers supervising detention now and again is a small "extra" compared to the vast amount of unpaid overtime they already do, which could be reduced/tackled first.

YABU, are you sure the 'voluntary' payment is for the lesson or is it for a coach?

eBook
"There should be a rota where teachers take turns to supervise detentions."#

Damn decent of you to volunteer someon elses time.

I hope my dc have teachers like you fromesme .

Maths and swimming are not "different" in the way people are claiming. They're both on the curriculum and important to learn.

It's not exactly unusual for a pupil to misbehave in a lesson, but I've never heard of having to miss a lesson as a "punishment" before.

Anyone who doesn't like swimming will know what to do to avoid it, won't they!

Boney I've been a teacher and supervising detentions really wasn't a problem. It was a drop in the ocean compared to providing extra-curricular activities, preparation and marking, writing reports etc. etc. It's just one of those things that you have to do occasionally, certainly preferable to a culture where missing lessons is considered a suitable punishment!

There are certain circumstances where children lose their right to attend lessons.

Prehaps learning to behave in public is more important than learning to swim.

I think the OP should concentrate on teaching her children to behave rather than arguing with the school or demanding her money back.

If my son behaved that badly I would feel mortified.

I have said several times what other punishments I would have thought were better, and am not repeating it for those that haven't read it properly!

And although he is my eldest, he is far from PFB - although I just love the amateur psychologists on here!! Feeling guiltly? It isn't his first misdemeanour, although he is better bahaved than some, he is also not without his moments and at no point have I suggested he not be told off and punished. I am just unsure that making him miss a scheduled lesson a week away from the time he behaved badly is the best way to do this.

We are not able to take him swimming more frequently ourselves, for reasons which I am sad about but there you are. Life isn't all how you'd like it. That is why I was so pleased to see swimming on the curriculum and, as I mentioned, might be clouding my reasoning and there why I am so upset they are proposing cancelling it for him on this occasion.

I have just spoken to DH and he feels the same. (Amazingly, we don't normally agree on anything!!!)

We have parents' evening next Tuesday, the day before swimming, so I may ask them then about it. The only problem with that is that DS1 (and 2 and 3) will be there and I don't want to undermine the school by questioning their punishment in front of the boys (despite what some here seem to think). That is why I considered calling them on Friday in private instead. Hmmm will have to think about that.....

X posts - sorry I am a very slow typer.

And I do teach my children to behave actually but, you know what? Sometimes - and I know as parents you will find this hard to believe - sometimes, they DON'T do what I tell them / ask of them!!!