To think its not my job to teach my child to read and write?

[2beornot]

I don't have the first idea in how to teach children to read and once my dd has started school I will support her learning. Teachers have spent time training and learning the best way for children to learn, shouldn't I let them go the job they're qualified for.

Until she had started school I am not going to try to get her to read. I believe that my job is to build her enthusiasm for learning, enjoying books etc. I'll point out letters and numbers, when we doodle I draw the first letter of her name and say 'Luh for Lexi' for example. But I don't think it's my job to go further than that.

Am I being unreasonable? Do schools expect that I will have taught her before she starts?

Ilovemydog you have probably got it right, but it is almost impossible to write out how to say the sounds here. But putting an 'uh' sound at the end of another sound is wrong. That doesn't mean the alternative is going mmmmmmmm for several seconds, but saying M says muh is wrong. M says mm, with lips together for the whole duration of you making that sound. To get it right you shouldn't open your mough at the end for an uh, however short and subtle that uh might be.

In mum the emphasis is on the vowel because there is one right after the m in mum.

In mat you don't hear mu'at do you? It is m a t, with no gaps between sounds obnviously so it all blends together. The end t doesn't have a vowel on it tohugh does it? You don't say matuh.

Think of each letter as how you would say it at the end of a word, not the begining.

When you say mum there is no voewl sound at the end. That m is how you teach it.

Umm, mu-ah-tu?

Oh lord what have I started?

I get your point with the mm, but the emphasis is on the vowel and the way it leads into it. I can't really explain it any better than that but I'm starting to think that if we were having this discussion face to face it would sound completely different.

I think you are right my bab, we could see each others faces and be cracking up over our cava

Absolutely leave the formal stuff for now, I wish I had, I had a last minute panic in the summer holidays before reception and tried to teach dd to read, I hated it, she hated it, and the progress was painfully slow so we gave up.

Now she's loving reception and learning very fast and she's not bored like she might be if she started knowing it all.

YANBU
But do teach her other non school stuff. Manners, hygiene, tying her school laces, etc,

Oh yeah, sorry op, bit of a rambling hijack there.

Ilovemydog interesting hijack nonetheless

Why is it so incomprehensible that different schools and different teachers may do it differently? Why is your way definitely the best?

Because one way leads to blending correctly and the other way leads to parental confusion and utter frustration because it simply doesn't work when blending - as you have so beautifully illustrated.

Unfortunately, some schools teach phonics quite badly.

I think its a parents job to get a child interested in words.writing etc alot is done through reading to your child, drawing etc.

You don't need to sit down and teach her. But unless you completely ignore her all day she will learn from you reading with her, taking to her, pointing things out on a walk, naming the colours that leaf is brown that is green etc

If she has access to puzzles and drawing materials she will be learning without you "teaching" her

Cbeebies teaches a lot too. . Colour by teletubbies etc

I wouldn't bother with teaching reading unless the pre school aged child is interested. It isn't rocket science though, it's very simple and easy if you get yourself a jolly CD book.

Also I do think it's in the child's best interest if parents can spend 10 mins a day reading those damned awful chip and Kipper books with kids once they hit reception age.

Best thing you can do now is be very creative in play and read to her lots.

Funny you should say that aldiwhore - I actually learned to read at the age of about 2 because my father used to sit my two years older sister and I on his knee and read us Shakespeare. She started picking out words and I got into competition with her. I think at first it was just us picking out words based on their length and how often they appeared on the page but after a while we were able to read. I have a lot of memories of being 3-4 years old but I can't remember ever not being able to read.

I agree with the OP.

Unless you are home educating then a parent's job (education wise) is to ensure their child is ready for school

Things like going ot the toilet and washing hands, asking not demanding, sharing, not shouting out etc, etc.

There are children arriving at school able to read but wearing nappies.

If your child arrives at school already reading and writing you risk them switching off and / or being bored. Then they don't notice when the rest of the class not only catch up, but over take them.

No, OP, it's your 'job'. It's your child, not the state's. So pull your head out from where it's jammed.

If you don't know how to teach a child to read then find out.

rage

YANBU. I don't get this British attitude of parents trying to teach their children to read and write as young as possible. It's not like that in other countries.

I left it up to the teachers, and they have done a fantastic job. Obviously I encourage my children to practise what they have learnt, and provide them with plenty of books, and take them to the library. But I have never actually 'taught' them.

ar luh for Lexie. Please don't!

'But do teach her other non school stuff. Manners, hygiene, tying her school laces, etc, '

Totally agree with that.

Meh. I didn't teach DS to read before school. Had no intention of doing so! He's only been in reception a few weeks and he's already bringing reading books home. He knew his alphabet and a few letter sounds but its schools job to teach him to read.

We read with him all the time though.

'There are children arriving at school able to read but wearing nappies. '

I know a couple of three year olds still in nappies but being taught how to read.

There was four years between my children being potty trained and learning how to read.

Another good preparation for school is craft activities. Play doh and the dreaded hama beads for example are great for concentration and dexterity. I even taught my girls to sew before learning to read.

To be fair, I think some of the issue with the whole phonetics/blending thing, is it doesn't allow for regional accent.

The confusion over the sound to make that's been going here is a case in point. There are many accents, particularly northern ones, where the sounds are very 'flat'.

So trying to describe M 'as in mum' does get you 'mu' - because the word 'mum' is heavily emphasized on the 'u' sound, and the consonants are harder and longer. (Listen to Peter Kay... Muuuuummm - fetch a spooounn)

Southern accents are 'lighter', and the sounds more clipped - the word mum is closer to 'mom' or even 'mahm'.

It's a tricky one. I get that phonetics is helpful for children but unless we're going to teach everyone a home counties accent first, problems like this are unavoidable. I find myself shifting when 'teaching' DD her letters, to something far more 'proper' than my natural accent, but I can do that, I've lived all over the country and once played 'Eliza Doolittle' for a linguistics professor who was researching regional accent and the formation of the sounds, because I can move from one to the other extremely well.

Many parents (and teachers!) won't be able to do that, so will demonstrate incorrectly, because to them, it's not incorrect. I dread to think how the Scottish, Welsh and Irish cope!

OP, YANBU not to formally teach your DC ytoread and write before reception, however, YABVU to assume you can leave her education to school.

YANBU I don't think it's of any benefit to teach a pre-school dc to read unless they are really wanting to. There's plenty of time. Support the learning at home - read the books sent home with them and generally encourage.

But I would (in hindsight) keep an eye on where they're at and fill in any gaps if necessary. For example, mine is struggling with letter formation. They've pretty much finished teaching it at school for her age group. The only way she's going to get it is if I do some at home. Others I know are doing a bit of maths at home if their dc is struggling with it.

Flatpackhamster you have totally missed the point with your snarky sarcastic post. Am presuming you read OP only and haven't taken on board the pitfalls of phonic sounds described at length here. #patient face