To think its not my job to teach my child to read and write?

[2beornot]

I don't have the first idea in how to teach children to read and once my dd has started school I will support her learning. Teachers have spent time training and learning the best way for children to learn, shouldn't I let them go the job they're qualified for.

Until she had started school I am not going to try to get her to read. I believe that my job is to build her enthusiasm for learning, enjoying books etc. I'll point out letters and numbers, when we doodle I draw the first letter of her name and say 'Luh for Lexi' for example. But I don't think it's my job to go further than that.

Am I being unreasonable? Do schools expect that I will have taught her before she starts?

I'm with you, I didn't do much teaching I did lots of playing and drawing and painting etc .. My ds loves school and I am so pleased to see his enthusiasm for learning letters and numbers (which he is doing very quickly) others in the class who were taught to read before school are apparently bored already !

Yanbu.The school my dds went to said we should NOT try to teach children to read before they started school. They knew some letters and numbers, but what's the rush in teaching them to read? Read to them,talk to them, take them to the library, let them play with jigsaws, playdoh etc. They were only four when they started school.

Both my parents were teachers and they never attempted to teach me to read before starting school. I soon picked it up.

our primary prefers the child to come to them maybe able to RECOGNISE their name, written down, but not to read or write

I've NEVER got this attitude from schools. Yes, there's the idea that the teacher may have to "undo" certain teaching, but in my experience, when a child comes to me with ANY prior understanding you build on that, not see it as a hindrance.

I thought you were going to say you had been told that you should. But you haven't, so I'm wondering why you seem so defensive

FWIW a friend of mine teaches reception aged children and it can be a re-learning experience for some who have learned to read already as they use the phoenetic alphabet which is different to how most of us were taught.

I teach secondary and have no experience of early years but as my DS(3.9) is interested in letters and numbers, I have "taught" him the alphabet (as phoenetically as I can!) and number recognition, I've also shown him how to "draw" some letters. He enjoys it, so it's more like a game.

I don't think it is my "job" to teach my children to read and write but I'm their mum and I'd love for them to enjoy learning, both at school and at home.

I don't like the phrase "It's not my job" - because your job as mother is to guide your child and help them become a fully functioning, happy, adjusted, educated adult... and part of that is building up a love for education, another part is carrying on that love when they fall out of love with school.

For that, YABU.

On the other hand, there's very little point in getting your pre-schooler to read Shakespeare, not if you aren't prepared to pay for extra tuition once they start school and have to read bloody Biffer and Chip. I'm not sure any of the children who could read well when my son was learning his ABC's are any better off now they're in Year 4...

There is a balance I think. Fostering a love of learning is crucial, and that means a bit of teaching. It may not be curriculum teaching that you do (and pre-schoolers who've been to pre-school will have been well introduced already) but it's (in my opinion) about enthusiasm, making it cool to discover, making them WANT to know more.

I had a wonderful few moments (about 45 minutes) the other day in a supermarket carpark when the penny dropped with my youngest. He's just started reception, we've always done letters and number and HOW COOL they are, and he's always been interested... until the other day, when coupled with his schooling, he realised just how much you could figure out if you knew your letters.... cue 45 minutes in a car park reading makes and models of all the cars. Is it my 'job' to do this? Absofreakinlutely it is. Part of it.

YABU (still).

You are the link between the academic and the real life. Make that link strong. It IS your job.

YANBU to think that you shouldn't 'be' a qualified teacher... but grow some passion for learning in your child, that is very much part of your job.

Yabnu. I Think a lot of parents 'teach' there Pre school child the wrong things anyway, such as phonic sounds and letter formation. Far better to enjoy them being young and concentrating on social skills, fine motor skills, and being independent such as getting dressed and etc. Obviously when your child starts school you can help and encourage them, especially In areas where they may struggle but ultimely the teacher is teaching the acedamic stuff and you are supporting and encouraging them in doing this.

Dd2 could write her name before she started school, but only because dd1 taught her. Lots of other countries, with very good education systems, don't do any formal learning until children are older.

What sparked this off?

I think that the way you word what you are saying sounds rather unreasonable and entitled.

Some children will pretty much teach themselves to read before they get to school, some won't sit still long enough to hold a book open, so I do agree that you shouldn't feel you have to teach them to read before they start school if they don't want to (and most don't). So yes, if they don't want to, don't put them off. Do read in front of them. Even if it's just MN, the TV Times, recipes and Fifty Shades of Grey.

Once they are at school, then it becomes a partnership between you and the teacher, and your child will learn more quickly if you read to them every day and, as you say, share books and have fun with them. If you leave it completely to the school, though, you will find they will seem to fall behind as the teacher cannot hear every child in the class read (one to one) every day, teaching each and every one every time.

It is helpful if they can write their own name, or at least an approximation of each letter.

A lot of reception teachers do share your attitude, in that they feel they know best about how children should write letters, what sort of books they should have and how they should do all kinds of little things, so it's good to get off on the right foot!

right, so, she's not your child? or she is, but you don't care about her education?

teachers will like your approach, it keeps them in jobs.

I haven't attempted to teach dd how to read either. Not at all. They've only just started teaching her letters and how to write them. No reading yet I think. I'm not worried though, but when they do start, I do feel it is my job to teach and help her.
She is already reading Arabic, and I taught her that from scratch, so I've left the English to the teachers for now.

Fermez just relaying my experience, no need to have a conniption fit

I think what the OP means is that she is not going to hothouse her daughter and enjoy being a mum first and foremost. She has said she will support anything the school does - I think lots of people think like this.

I am a teacher and it is v hard to teach your own child in the formal sense, but obviously lots of teaching goes on through talking, explaining things etc.

Sometimes parents teaching formally can make things tricky as they can do things like teach hard sounds rather than soft sounds "luh" rather than "llll" being the perfect example. Also teaching names all in capital letters, column addition too soon... I could go on!

So as I understand it OP you are not being unreasonable!

Don't say, "luh" as you will be adding an extra sound which makes it difficult then for the child to blend them together to make words.

You've got books in the house which she reads and you read to her? She sees you reading (Mumsnet counts ) and that's a better foundation than many children have.

But, but...you ARE teaching her...

Reading for fun, pointing out letters and numbers, doodling...

From the OP you are teaching her!! Teaching doesn't have to be formal. By pointing out letters, reading books, counting, sharing things out etc etc you are teaching your child.

People get worried that they expected to do something formal - your not they go to school for a formal education.

Keep doing what your doing OP and you'll see that as she professes whet you to with her progresses too.

What a weird OP there are around 30 kids in a class and one teacher, two if they're lucky. Five hours of teaching time a day which has to include assemblies, PE, music, drama, cooking, golden time, discipline etc etc.. Do you really think that your child is getting enough one to one reading time without your help!?

Fermez just relaying my experience, no need to have a conniption fit

If you make sure your child has basic manners, can dress and undress, use a knife and fork, use the toilet and wipe their bum then many teachers will be happy.

Taking a book home is about reading practice rather actually teaching your child to read. The teacher will teach your child how to read and parents just give opportunities to practice.

Yes, watch out for the schwa

Bloody hell. All the op means us that she has no intention of trying to formally reach her child to read before reception age, and I don't blame her. With tricky words, phenomes, god knows what else jargon is it any wonder she feels its best left to the professionals? Hardly adds up to parental indifference.

Op YANBU.

[baffled] Fermez I appear to have upset you with my posts and for that I am sorry

DS is in school and we still don't sit and do spelling and his word book. I make it way more fun to do it things like these are fantatic.

www.elc.co.uk/Bath-Crayons/116562,default,pd.html

also we have foam letter that stick to the bath tiles, in the summer a bucket of water and a paintbrush.

the whole world is a class room and there is so much as a parent you can do with a child to learn to read and write.

As ReallyTired says, teachers will be most grateful if you can teach her:

To wash her hands after going to the loo
Tidy up
Pick up stuff she drops
Take turns and share with other children
Use scissors
Use a knife and fork
Say please and thankyou

No, I'm sorry - I just didn't get the conniption fit comment when it wasn't you I was moaning about - just the attitude of schools who object to chn being taught before entering school .

Long and shitty day and I apologise!