To think its not my job to teach my child to read and write?

[2beornot]

I don't have the first idea in how to teach children to read and once my dd has started school I will support her learning. Teachers have spent time training and learning the best way for children to learn, shouldn't I let them go the job they're qualified for.

Until she had started school I am not going to try to get her to read. I believe that my job is to build her enthusiasm for learning, enjoying books etc. I'll point out letters and numbers, when we doodle I draw the first letter of her name and say 'Luh for Lexi' for example. But I don't think it's my job to go further than that.

Am I being unreasonable? Do schools expect that I will have taught her before she starts?

[Tailtwister]

Ds1 recently started at the school nursery and I was keen to prepare him to start in p1, so asked the teacher what she ideally wanted him to know. Her answer? To dress, feed and toilet himself. That was it! Not even to write his name or anything.

I'm just reading to him, pointing out words, helping him write when he asks etc. it's not my job to teach him, no. It is my job to support him though. I just hope we get some direction when he starts school!

[GrimAndHumourless]

my back's not up sweetheart, scroll back to what I first posted before we sidetracked a weeny bit, and you'll see that.

[PumpkInDublic]

2beornot AIBU to let my daughter learn at her own pace and avoid more formal teaching until she's at school and I have the guidance of a teacher?

FWIW most bookshops have an education sections with books that can help preschoolers in a fun way. You follow the book and they learn in an indirect fashion, hard to go wrong from your pov too as there will be guide notes in the back. If she's showing signs of being ready you could give it a try, no need to be pushy.

[2beornot]

Grim Some people's.

[Feenie]

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme - if you put an 'uh' on the end of the sounds, it wrecks the blending process.

e.g. muh - uh - muh doesn't make 'mum' when you put them together, it makes the word muhuhmuh

mmmmmm-u-mmmmmm makes 'mum'

Some sounds are more difficult than others to clip short without the 'uh' (p, b, d) but it's really important that you try.

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

If I ask my dd to say the alphabet she doesn't roll her ddddddd's and go phphphphphphphphphph and spit at me. That is exactly how she pronounces it. As does the rest of the class.

[stamps foot]

I'm completely confused. Where are you getting this from? When I say the alphabet as I was taught thirty years ago I say ay, bee, see, dee, eee, eff, gee, etc. Now they say ah, buh, cuh, etc. it's all different. I feel like I've had to learn it all over again.

[Feenie]

Cross posts, I feel - please look at mine again above yours!

[GrimAndHumourless]

there's a website that pronounces the sounds for you correctly, I'll have a shufty

[2beornot]

What PumpkInDublic said. So am I?

Some friends are teachers do know what they are doing but I still can't help but think that they will be at the same point after 5/10/50 years.

[Goonatic]

That's ok, that's the alphabet (letter names) you can still say them in the same way. Have you got an iPad? Look at Hairy Letters, or the Ladybird Phonics, there is a guide as to how you pronounce sounds. I promise I am right, I am a year 1 teacher!

[GrimAndHumourless]

ILove clicky me

2be YANBU, you are prepared to follow the teacher's advice and support your child's formal learning when she enters school. Take no notice of your friends.

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

Yes but by your own definition, m-u-m would be mmmmmummmmm. With the lips pressed together for several seconds. Whereas muh-uh-muh actually sounds like the word.

I'm sorry but I know I'm right. I've just sat through the parents evening. Honest to god, there was a quiz and everything.

[redwhiteandblueeyedsusan]

yanbu to not push it. children read when they are ready. I sent dd to school reading reasonably well. ds has just started and he is not interested in learning to read, can not blend (c-a-t -> cat) or hear any of the sounds in words and has only just sated to be interested in looking at books in the library.

they have both been talked at with and shown things, read to if they are interested, and generally taught about the world around them as they are interested. that all helps set them up to read and learn formally when they are ready. sounds like you are doing the same. better not to teach her luh than lll and have to unlearn if you are unsure. but i bet you have been doing loads of counting, colours, sizes etc..

if your friends are sitting down doing formal stuff before the child is ready, it is not going to help. if their child is ready and wants to that is a different matter.

[Snog]

I agree that kids dont need to read when they start school
It is however surely the parents' job to take overall responsibility for their child's learning and to reinforce the learning that goes on in the classroom.

[Goonatic]

Okaaaaaay......

Struggling of what to say now, let's agree to disagree!

[Goonatic]

Bugger, struggling for what to say, not of!

[IsItMeOr]

I've found alphablocks and numtums, and the related magazines helpful for beginning to get DS interested in letters and numbers, and teaching me and DH the correct way to make the letter sounds.

Based on previous experience, DS will probably be interested for a few weeks and then move on to something else. But DH was fretting that we weren't doing something we should be, and this seemed like a happy compromise. I hope we get a happy medium that DS knows a bit before he starts school so that he has a bit of confidence, but not so much that he isn't excited to learn the new things at school.

DS's real passion is how things work, so I hope that giving him the opportunity to press lots of buttons in the science museum is developing something...

[Feenie]

Seriously? You think muhuhmuh sounds like a word? In the Muppets, maybe.

[FantabulousFryingPan]

I find this attitude really odd. When your child was 1 did you not teach her that a sheep was a sheep and a cow was a cow and what noises they made? I really don't see the difference between teaching this and pointing at letters and saying what they are, and the sound they make.

[Feenie]

Okay: c-a-t blends together to make 'cat'.

cuh-a-tuh blends together to make cuhatuh. Which sounds like nothing on earth.

[GrimAndHumourless]

Snog what the OP is saying is that her friends are starting to do phonics and what not with their same-age children; they are teachers and know what they are doing wrt letter formation and sounds. Op isn't confident that she'll start her child off correctly so is preferring to continue developing an inquisitive, curious child and will follow schools' lead when her child starts in reception, is willing to support school, wants to be guided by the teacher when the time comes.

As you can see from Ilove (sorry to use you as an example m'dear) it's quite easy to fall into traps around sounds, eek at muh uh muh

[GrimAndHumourless]

oops more xposts

[Nanny0gg]

Ilovemydog
I suggest you watch Alphablocks -

www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/alphablocks/games/alphablocks-games/

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

But that's how our school does it. I'm only telling you what they told me!

Why is it so incomprehensible that different schools and different teachers may do it differently? Why is your way definitely the best? Perhaps I'm over-emphasising the articulate vowel sound but it's definitely muh, or ma, and not mmmmmmmm......

Say mum. Then say the first letter. The emphasis is on the vowel, not the consonant. It's a classic c-f-c and is exactly how it was demonstrated to me.

[GrimAndHumourless]

okay how would you do mat?