To think its not my job to teach my child to read and write?

[2beornot]

I don't have the first idea in how to teach children to read and once my dd has started school I will support her learning. Teachers have spent time training and learning the best way for children to learn, shouldn't I let them go the job they're qualified for.

Until she had started school I am not going to try to get her to read. I believe that my job is to build her enthusiasm for learning, enjoying books etc. I'll point out letters and numbers, when we doodle I draw the first letter of her name and say 'Luh for Lexi' for example. But I don't think it's my job to go further than that.

Am I being unreasonable? Do schools expect that I will have taught her before she starts?

[ClippedPhoenix]

YANBU.

Sounds like you knock around with a few pushy parents there OP.

What you're doing is absolutely fine.

[DolomitesDonkey]

I'm afraid I don't understand the argument "oh god please don't, we'll have to unpick all your work and teach them properly".

I shall teach my child to read, I shall also teach him to say "listen pet, I might not have your ferne'ics, but I can read, there's a love".

Seriously, if the kid can actually read - who the fuck would you be to tell him he can't?

[Toptack]

Callmecordelia - I understand your point, but surely the fault is with the system, rather than individual families? My 23 month old can identify letters and read some three letter words. It's an awfully long time before he goes to school. I'm not pushing him, but I'm also not going to try to stop him reading for two years in order to make his future teacher's life easier. Speaking as a teacher myself, I'm pretty certain it's the school's job to make sure he doesn't 'switch off' when he gets there.

I could read before I went to school too - my mum (who never tried to actively teach me) had a row with my teacher about it. Bit sad to think the situation hasn't changed in 30 years.

[Callmecordelia]

Toptack, I think actually we agree on some things. If you look at another of my other posts you'll see that I said if it is right for your child, then you shouldn't stop them learning early. For 23 months your DS sounds incredible!

What does worry me is the examples of children where it hasn't worked out - and children are not all saints and neither are teachers. If a child can get away with coasting, or a teacher doesn't spot that they are zoning out, then it can cause problems later. I was an early reader - I turned out OK. I can think of some other children that did not.

In a perfect world, we'd have amazing personalised learning for each child. At the moment, as you say, we're stuck with the system we've got.

[mumsfretter]

There is not an 'uh' in L

In phonics it would sound like lllll

Try saying it 'luh' before little it doesn't work does it.

[oohlaalaa]

Don't get it. It's giving your child a head start in school, and if you have the time, buy some books, and do it. What have you got to loose.

[GrimAndHumourless]

Unkind snicker at loose.

[BloodRedAlienReflux]

woozley my boy had the pen holding problem, I was more than a bit pissed off with the nursery, after trying everything i could think of to exercise those muscles (he held his pen very loose) I found these pen gripper things, they are triangle shape and you need to squeeze the tiniest bit to keep them in place, it makes it impossible to hold your pen wrong. So i said to the 'head' of the nursery, 'oh i found these, thought they may be useful' (I had bought them a pack of 12). She said, oh those? yes we have some, thanks anyway??!!!
My boy had never even seen them before. GRRRRRRRR.
But like you say, he's been at school, what? a month, and he's already vastly improved with his pen holding.

[Feenie]

Good phonics teaching very much allows for regional accents.


However, there is no regional accent which says muh-ice, or muh-altesers, or muh-anything. If you think there is, you misunderstand blending.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

BloodRed

You are doing the right thing. If they are expected to hold a pencil at this age, then attention should be paid to the grip they are using. It's really hard to correct it later.

Other things I'd recommend for a weak pincer grip: playing with clothes pegs, picking up small objects such as beads and sorting them or threading onto strings (can also be done with Cheerios), using those large plastic "play" tweezers.

For letter formation, making the letter with the index finger in glitter, sand or shaving foam on a tray.

There's also an Ipad app called Dexteria which was recommended to me by an OT

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Also, short crayons and chalks, and pencils that are triangular (toblerone shaped)

[SCOTCHandWRY]

I don't understand the attitude of "leave it to the school", or "you will do it THE WRONG WAY".

There is no right way... only different ways and many kids will learn far better using a variety of approaches.

From ages 0-5 you ARE your child's teacher. Even through the school years, you can be a huge facilitator in your child's education. Any parent who is spending even a little time daily, even 20mins, is probably giving their child more 1:1 input than they get in the entire school day!

I don't think my DS2 with dyslexia would have ever learned to read to the level he does without parental input.

[GrimAndHumourless]

scotch OP is not saying she will do no parental input she is saying she will support school, follow guidance from teacher when her child starts but is not confident in starting her child on the reading and writing road without a professional lead. The child is nursery age, not in school yet.

[SCOTCHandWRY]

Grimand... My comment was not particularly aimed at the OP more aimed at the attitude of "leave it to the school" and "don't push (help) your children" which is very prevalent in these threads.

[Merrin]

Its a team effort.

[dysfunctionalme]

In essence, everyone seems to be on the same page. That is, we are all helping/teaching our children in our own ways. Reading to your children, talking with them, listening to them, letting them play independently and with others - that's all "teaching". There is really nothing to argue about

[Merrin]

:o