To think its not my job to teach my child to read and write?

[2beornot]

I don't have the first idea in how to teach children to read and once my dd has started school I will support her learning. Teachers have spent time training and learning the best way for children to learn, shouldn't I let them go the job they're qualified for.

Until she had started school I am not going to try to get her to read. I believe that my job is to build her enthusiasm for learning, enjoying books etc. I'll point out letters and numbers, when we doodle I draw the first letter of her name and say 'Luh for Lexi' for example. But I don't think it's my job to go further than that.

Am I being unreasonable? Do schools expect that I will have taught her before she starts?

[JustForMe]

I don't understand your attitude either, just because your not formally qualified it doesn't mean you can't teach your children,

If there was someone specially trained to teach children to walk and talk would you no longer do it?

[alienreflux]

I was told NOT to teach phonics, as the school has a harder time, 'unlearning' badly taught children, than they do teaching from scratch, I'm hoping you are going to reinforce what they teach her though, as this is totally expected, and essential for her not to fall behind.
So for now, YANBU but when she does start YWBVU to not do anything then :)

[FolkGhoul]

I was told NOT to teach phonics, as the school has a harder time, 'unlearning' badly taught children

I was going to say something along those lines but feared for my life!

It's especially hard when little Timmy says "but my mummy showed/told me..." and you then have to correct a misunderstanding without conveying the message that mummy was 'wrong'.

[Tailtwister]

Great post FolkGhoul. I don't think OP meant that she takes no interest in her child's development at all, just that she doesn't know the specifics of teaching a child to read (phonics etc). Why would she?

Teachers seem to prefer children not to have had any formal teaching before they start. I've heard it can lead to confusion if the methods are different or boredom whilst the child waits for their peers to catch up. Obviously there will be some children who learn to read of the own accord.

[alienreflux]

I think the title is a bit inflammatory!!! Really hoping OP, that you don't mean that literally!

[GhostShip]

My mum taught me to read before I started school, it has helped me to no end, part of the reason why I was so advanced and had to be bumped up classes.

There's no job description, you help and nurture your child as much as you can.

I'm sure all that has already been said but there you go..

[kekouan]

This thread's weird - it's the opposite of lots of threads I've read on MN on the subject. Normally it starts off with the OP being worried that her 4yo can't blend sounds yet and the whole thread generally says that teaching reading isn't necessary at all before school and that it's harder for the children to unlearn badly taught phonics. That it's much more important for the children to be able to change into their PE kit, wipe their own bums, put their own shoes etc.

I do think that it's the teachers job to teach reading and writing, but of course it's not JUST the teachers job.

[Fuzzydeepdarkscarywood]

OP I can see your point about formal teaching but i do think it's your 'job' to do everything you can to help your child learn and develop. All children learn at a different pace so do whatever your child is interested in without forcing it.
I've just got back from a meeting at DD's school, she's just started reception, about helping them with their reading, writing and maths. They are really focussing on parents spending time reading to and with children, counting with them etc. Also lots of playing with things like duplo and playdoh help with the gross motor development they need to be able to write.
Before she started, as others have mentioned, they like them to be able to go to the toilet, feed themselves, do up coats and blow their noses . She also knew her letter sounds and could write her name, though the first few weeks they 'assess' where they are with this and will fit the work they now do to the level they are working at.

For those discussing the sounds you should be making for phonics we have been directed to this website phonic sounds Our school teach what they describe as 'pure phonics' so really important to say lll not luh for example.

[BloodRedAlienReflux]

Exactly though, the poor OP started teaching one word and got it wrong!! Proof positive, that if you don't know what you're doing, you can make this harder instead of easier for you kids

[PandaNot]

I'm a trained early years teacher and had no intention of teaching either of my children to read before they went to school because of the issues about them being bored in the first school years. Ds 8 went along with this. Unfortunately dd 4 didnt know this and taught herself to read and write. She's just started school and they have been brilliant at just letting her get on with it, providing books at the right level, teaching her about split digraphs and she's just soaking it up as she always has done and continuing to progress as a reader and writer at her own pace. All we did with both children is foster a love of reading and writing and provide them with suitable 'materials'. I'm not sure you need to do much more.

[CassandraApprentice]

I don't think anything you've said in your actual post I'd disagree with - title is a little misleading.

However I have found the DC school despite saying it teaches phonics really used mixed methods and my DC are in the minority not helped by that. So while I was hoping for a supportive role I've ended up doing a lot more 'teaching ' than we were expecting - and not just in decoding.

So while all mine have at least started knowing jolly phonics sounds I may cover blending with youngest to avoid all the look at pictures, gusss and learnt by sight confusion - but I'll be lead by her ablities and interest as well.

[CassandraApprentice]

If you buy the Jolly Phonics CD - you get fun songs and the sounds they need to start with.

[FolkGhoul]

Panda Same here.

It's interesting. I don't know any teachers IRL who were concerned with 'teaching' their children before they started school.

Although, not many non-teacher parents realised this and many seem to assume you're steadily working your way through your Letters and Sounds book before they start reception.

I didn't teach my son, but he was an intuitive reader and once he realised what 'words' were, he pretty much taught himself. I didn't teach DD either, but she's also doing pretty well.

All we did with both children is foster a love of reading and writing and provide them with suitable 'materials'

^^ that.

[CassandraApprentice]

All we did with both children is foster a love of reading and writing and provide them with suitable 'materials'

We did that but found they need extra help or being taught the basics like sounds and how to blend on top as they were struggling and getting very frustrated and demoralised.

[PandaNot]

Cassandra that's what school is there for though, although Ido understand that some schools dont always do a great job. And some children do learn to read through a range of methods. As adults reading we use context to help us decide whether a word says reading or Reading (probably better examples but I can't think of one at the moment!). Decoding alone isn't reading. Looking at pictures and knowing some words by sight are important skills too.

[Brycie]

Schools do expect it, unfortunately, so you'll have to shape up once school starts.

[FolkGhoul]

And it's not understanding that that causes problems when parents wonder why their children have been given a book without words.

[FolkGhoul]

Last post was in response to Panda.

[FolkGhoul]

Schools don't expect you to teach children before they start school.

They do expect you to support their learning once they are at school.

[worldgonecrazy]

YABU. I'm going to be slightly controversial and repeat a discussion I had with my husband at the weekend. I believe, as a parent, that it is my role to educate my child with the support of the school. Learning and exploring the world around us is fun - I don't understand why any parent wouldn't want to share that journey with their child.

[BloodRedAlienReflux]

At the risk of sounding like shit Mum!...why do they get books with no words? I have read with my DS since he was a baby, and we have always used word books, so he (and me) were like 'these are rubbish aren't they?'

[PostBellumBugsy]

How any child manages to foster a love of reading when schools make them read those awful biff and chip books, I'll never know. Initially, they are ok but the theme is done to death by the time you get to the end of them and if you've got more than one child, as a parent you nearly want to tell them that they should give up reading forever! I've no idea how early years teachers and reading assistants don't top themselves listening to 30 kids year in year out read those books.

[moajab]

I've not read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been said. But actually you ARE teaching your DD to read and write. You may not realise it and she doesn't realise it (which is always the best way to learn IMO) but you are laying the groundwork so that when she does start school she will pick it uop much more naturally.

[Brycie]

Biff and Chip are marvellous! though not for all children, I understand. Who cares if the teachers and teaching assistants are bored. They aren't there to be entertained.

[PandaNot]

I still love Biff and Chip, even after hearing them all hundreds of times. If anyone had to read the Ginn 360 books they would understand why I was so excited when our school finally got ORT! By now though i know them so well that I can tell if my dc have made a mistake, even if I'm only listening and not looking at the book.