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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think its not my job to teach my child to read and write?

217 replies

2beornot · 15/10/2012 20:32

I don't have the first idea in how to teach children to read and once my dd has started school I will support her learning. Teachers have spent time training and learning the best way for children to learn, shouldn't I let them go the job they're qualified for.

Until she had started school I am not going to try to get her to read. I believe that my job is to build her enthusiasm for learning, enjoying books etc. I'll point out letters and numbers, when we doodle I draw the first letter of her name and say 'Luh for Lexi' for example. But I don't think it's my job to go further than that.

Am I being unreasonable? Do schools expect that I will have taught her before she starts?

OP posts:
GrimAndHumourless · 15/10/2012 21:09

oh mate shitty days suck big time

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 15/10/2012 21:11

Say the words out to yourself the way they do in phonics.

Ah, buh, cuh, duh, eh, fuh, guh, huh, ih, juh, etc.

It really does sound like that!

Obviously when the letters are sounded out in specific words itakes more sense.

I've know I've got it right. Please don't confuse me anymore!

Craftyone · 15/10/2012 21:12

My mother was really hot on teaching me things before and during my schoolyears. Reading with home-made flash cards, extra maths etc. This was the best thing she ever did as I was always ahead, loved reading and was very confident. Can?t believe people saying it?s not their job. She was a young teen when she had me and she didn?t make any excuses.

IMO it's easier to say 'leave it to the teachers'

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 15/10/2012 21:12

Forgot most important thing to teach her :

That she is loved and listened to and matters, and in turn that she can pass this attitude on to her peers

Loveweekends10 · 15/10/2012 21:12

You can read and write so why do you not feel you can sit with your child and write some letters or get a book and read it.
Strange? Young children are actually learning as you play. So even though you probably don't think it's your job WTF?? You are doing it anyway.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 15/10/2012 21:13

it makes...

Goonatic · 15/10/2012 21:14

Just read to her each night, point to words if she particularly likes them, my dd who is 4 on sat, likes to know what things say so i am telling her!

I think children should be able to : write and read their own name, get changed and unchanged, go to the toilet by themselves and be curious when they enter reception.

Smile
Chubfuddler · 15/10/2012 21:14

Teach them well and let them lead the way < has a Whitney moment>

PumpkInDublic · 15/10/2012 21:15

"All the op means us that she has no intention of trying to formally reach her child to read before reception age" OP hasn't clarified that yet, I think most posters reaction is to the phrase "not my job". Is there anything about raising a child that isn't a parent's job?

pigletmania · 15/10/2012 21:15

Yabvvvu up its your job you are her parent! School can only do so much, and if the child is not supported by the parent at home than they are at a bit of a disadvantage imho

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 15/10/2012 21:16

Because the greatest love of all

popsypie · 15/10/2012 21:16

There really isn't an 'uh' sound at the end of the sounds - they are soft like fffffff rather than fuh. Honest!

2beornot · 15/10/2012 21:17

Ok, so yes. I should have said that I don't intend to formally teach her. I have friends who want their children to be able to do certain things before they start school and will have sessions when they push this. I don't.

I also never said that I didn't care about her development, in fact I tried hard to do the opposite. We talk on the way round to nursery about stuff e.g. I pointed out that leaves on the trees are green but on the floor they are brown. I'm sure next autumn she'll want to know why.

I think the fact I say luh not Lll shows why I shouldn't be doing this anyway.

I have a great interest in her schooling and will reinforce her learning at home. But until she's there, I'll let her be.

OP posts:
ReindeerBOOOOllocks · 15/10/2012 21:17

I have tried to all the basic manner things that Jamie outlined, but I have also done basic maths/number recognition with my nursery aged DC and we read/draw regularly.

My three year old, whilst having good fine motor skills (can use scissors and thread shoelaces) cannot yet seem to grasp letter formation. I am trying to get her used to knowing the alphabet but am hoping that the school can give us both tips on progressing her further.

My 3yo is a bit like my eldest DC and will play around and pretend she doesn't know stuff that she does know. It can be quite trying when teaching them new things.

So whilst its not my job to teach her to write, and I will be passing that over to the school, I think that activities that engage them will teach them much more easily than sitting and working at a young age.

Unless your of the dumping them in front of the tv variety, (not saying you are) then they probably have already picked up a lot of educational things from just spending time with you, and this will support them as they progress through school.

GrimAndHumourless · 15/10/2012 21:17

ILove , I hate to break it to you

It's not Fuh for eg, more like fffffffff, the sound you make before you say the rest of five. V subtle.

Goonatic · 15/10/2012 21:17

Ps ilove don't put the uh at the end! Fuh is just fffffffff , cu is just c, you almost have to try and suck the sound back in without adding the uh. I know some of them sound like the have an uh at the end but avoid it if you can, it isn't right.

GrimAndHumourless · 15/10/2012 21:18

massive x posts

ReindeerBOOOOllocks · 15/10/2012 21:18

X-posted with the OP.

Goonatic · 15/10/2012 21:19

X posts soz!

Goonatic · 15/10/2012 21:19

Ahhhhhhhh! Double x posts!!!!!

GrimAndHumourless · 15/10/2012 21:19

x posts a-go-go

GrimAndHumourless · 15/10/2012 21:20

lolo Goon

Goonatic · 15/10/2012 21:21

Haha!!

Craftyone · 15/10/2012 21:22

A-E- ....A-E-I-O-U-U

2beornot · 15/10/2012 21:22

PumpkInDublic I think you've hit the nail in the head as to why I seem to have got people's back up but I couldn't (and still can't) think if a better way of putting it.

OP posts:
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