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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to not want to kiss my DC full on the lips?

240 replies

lovelyladuree · 08/10/2012 19:45

I have noticed this mother at the school before, kissing her DS(8) full on the lips, half a dozen times, with wet sloppy kisses outside the classroom door. This morning she was directly in front of me and it was 'mmmmm......mmmmmm......mmmmm.......mmmmmmm....etc' in our faces. I kiss my DS wherever I can aim and catch him (head,cheek,anorak). Am I being weird? When I was at home, wet sloppy kisses on the lips were for people you were married to/in a partnership with. Or AIBU?

OP posts:
clemetteattlee · 08/10/2012 21:24

Honestly Baffled, do you think parents are forcing kisses on children who feel violated?
I think you may need to accept that your opinion is an abnormal one.

AnyFucker · 08/10/2012 21:25

catgirl you have a gift Grin

BaffledTruly · 08/10/2012 21:25

No, no I don't think the parents are forcing them! I see that they are not. I just never considered it before!

RobinSparkles · 08/10/2012 21:25

I always give my DDs kisses on the lips. I couldn't give a monkeys arse how anyone else kisses their child.

My 19 month old DD2 gives big smackers on the lips, complete with a MWAH. It's adorable! Except when she's snotty.

OxfordBags · 08/10/2012 21:28

But you can't presume for someone else how they would feel, Baffled. It's a bit odd to still be presuming everyone feels the same as you when you're an adult (I don't mean that in a bitchy way). I don't like coffee but I don't presume there's anything wrong with others drinking it or feel anxious that they might not like the taste of it like me. I think you might have an actual phobia about the issue and that's why you've managed to block out seeing parents and children kissing, because it is bizarre that you think you've never seen it, and, if you had seen parents kissing children, you'd see that kids, on the whole, love it and want lots of kisses and often instigate kisses more than their parents. Children are biologically programmed to want to kiss their mother, because, as someone else mentioned upthread, we used to feed our childreen mouth-to-mouth. There's no law that says you or anyone has to kiss their children, but honestly, you are really missing out on some lovely, lovely bonding if you never do.

BaffledTruly · 08/10/2012 21:33

I'm really searching my brain to think of seeing it but I just have a blank!

I really don't think it's that deep and meaningful (your explanation) though, it's just bypassed me for whatever reason. I'm suprised at the unanimity on the thread, really suprised! I really did just think it was a kid thing and I think I made a mental note at some point not to be that unwanted kisser....hmmm

greeneyed · 08/10/2012 21:38

Baffle I really credit you with your honest posting on this

BaffledTruly · 08/10/2012 21:41

Blush thank you greeneyed! I am a bit embarassed but you learn something new every day Grin

redadmiralsinthegarden · 08/10/2012 21:44

I love mumsnet, but I feel really sickened by some of the comments on here. for what it's worth, I DON't Kiss my dc on the lips - but I smother them in kisses. For me, kissing on the lips is an intimate, adult behaviour. I am not judging other parents for doing that, it's just that for me, i kiss them on the head/face/arm where-ever else. And if they initiated a kiss on the lips, then that would be ok, I wouldn't reject them.
the OP was merely asking a question - one that I've asked myself several times. Her comment about oral sex was perhaps ill advised, but she doesn't deserve the sniggers and cat-calling that I've read on here.

MummysHappyPills · 08/10/2012 21:47

Having a cock in your mouth is far more unnatural than kissing your child.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 08/10/2012 21:54

When my DC were smaller and I could get away with it I'd be forced to lick all the drippy melting icecream from around the cone and reshape it for them. My Mum used to do the same for me. I can't count the amount of half chewed sweets or bits of bread I've been given that I've had to eat because there wasn't anything else to do with it. Me and DD even had a licking fight this evening (probably best not to ask) Strangely enough I don't have an issue kissing the DC on the lips either (if that's what they want) There's a big difference between a peck on the lips and sexual kissing, or at least there is in my experience. It's how I was bought up, I wouldn't judge someone for not being as comfortable with it with their own children, but I'd be fairly pissed off if they judged me on it.

LivvyPsMum · 08/10/2012 21:54

YANBU! I don't see the need to kiss children on the lips at all. And the mmmmm, mmmmm, noises is pretty yuck IMO!

catgirl1976 · 08/10/2012 21:59

Why thank you AF Grin

BigCrisps · 08/10/2012 22:32

I was never kissed on the lips as a child by my parents, siblings or relatives, so I associate lip-kissing with adult romantic kissing. I would find it a little jarring and peculiar if I were to kiss a child on the mouth.

Kissing noises are unpleasant for me. (I have misophonia and mouth noises are one of my triggers. Bleaurgh.)

FamiliesShareGerms · 08/10/2012 22:55

redadmiral why are you "sickened" by the comments? You are seriously "sickened" by parents kissing their children on the mouth??

Kingcyrolophosarus · 08/10/2012 22:59

Hahaha
DS and I have names for our kisses
Upside down kisses, nose kisses, smackeroonies!

AnyFucker · 08/10/2012 23:43

when my kids were small, we used to call them "movie kisses"

EmBOOsa · 08/10/2012 23:52

I think I love catgirl!

catgirl1976 · 09/10/2012 06:01

I love you too EmBOOsa

IvorHughJackolantern · 09/10/2012 09:00

AF we used to call them movie kisses too! I'd forgotten that. We weren't allowed to say 'snog'.

MissKeithLemon · 09/10/2012 09:23

I think I might actually be the snogging mother from the OP's op Grin

DS (9) has no qualms about his mates seeing him kiss me full on the lips in the playground every morning - but then he is 100% comfortable and confident in himself. I would think it sad if a parent projected their own issues on to their DC's in this weird way.

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin · 09/10/2012 09:31

Haha, my DD (2.6yo) not only gives me and DH big kisses on the lips, she insists on doing it to all our friends and relatives too!

And this morning, when I was doing the nursery drop-off, her best friend came over and wanted to give me a kiss goodbye too. Sadly I had to decline, as he had the biggest snot-trail I had ever seen...

OxfordBags · 09/10/2012 09:34

Again, I reiterate how fucked-up, illogical and sad it is that some people see that giving a form of love, affection and reassurance should be for adults only, when children need love, affection and reassurance much more. Feel sorry for kids with parents who see affection between them as more important than sharing it with their kids.

YoloOrTwice · 09/10/2012 09:35

If DH's dick you did suck,
Poor DC is out of luck,
No more kisses on their mouth,
Coz dirty mummy went down south!

alienreflux · 09/10/2012 09:40

my mum and dad never kissed us on the lips, they were really affectionate, but not that. I never even considered it before kids, but it's what MY KIDS started doing, and i wasn't about to tell them not to.
The food thing i get a bit more, but still re-shape their ice creams for them!!

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