Would you give up your seat on a crowded train

[akaemmafrost]

During rush hour, for a child, say between the ages of 5 and 11?

I would and have. It's just a discussion I was having today and I thought I would put it to MN.

Narked I am also horrified.
I am a firm believer that there's way more good than bad,but sometimes it can be hard to cling to that belief!

No, unless there was some obvious reason they were having difficulty standing. Yes a child might have some invisible disability, but so might a teenager or adult, and it's impractical to offer to everyone standing just in case.

On my regular commute I usually choose to stand anyway, so it isn't an issue.

I would and have given my seat up for people who looked like they needed it (elderly, pregnant, disabled, carrying kids). If you asked me for the seat and explained why you needed it I'd definitely say yes.

Absolutely not. A child too big to sit on a parent's lap is big enough to stand. It drives me crazy to see children lolling around on seats when adults are standing! Why don't their parents teach them some manners?!

Well I did have this convo today but it also actually happened too but I didn't want to say in case I got roasted!

Me and dc right during rush hour had to stand on the tube being shoved around by all the other passengers. Seats became available at Paddington as they always do because people leave the train to get the mainline and still healthy men and women pushed past me and my kids to get in the seats that had just been vacated. A another woman who was standing looked at me like and shook her head which was comforting. Ds sat on the floor in the end as he couldn't stand anymore.

So I just wondered what the general consensus was.

Im very obviously pregnant and never get offered a seat which surprises me as I live in a lovely friendly part of the world. I have always offered to someone needing it more than me, preggy and infirm and ancient types. Kids can generally go on a lap, cant they? Thats what we always did.

If asked I would, but not otherwise. From around 5 my DC were given the choice of my lap or standing up if an adult got on. At nearly 10 DS usually goes with standing up now

Absolutely not. A child too big to sit on a parent's lap is big enough to stand. It drives me crazy to see children lolling around on seats when adults are standing! Why don't their parents teach them some manners?!

The adult is much more capable of standing and keeping balance than a child.

I thought you meant the train! Tube crowded is awhole different level. I'd stand for a child on the tube during rush hour - it's bad enough being an adult sardined into there.

I'd give my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it, or to the OP if she asked for her son. I think she does need to ask - its not always easy for people with no knowledge of a condition to tell.

No. The child should either sit on their parent's lap or the parent should stand up. I would make an exception if the child was with a mum who was obviously pregnant if I could be sure that she pregnant and not overweight (wouldn't like to open that can of worms!!)

I will always offer a seat to an elderly person, or anyone who is obviously in need. I do not routinely offer seats to pregnant women because I often can't tell if they actually are pregnant and I could therefore be causing public offence to a larger lady, and futhermore, they do not always want or need a seat. If anyone actually said "excuse me, do you mind if I sit down, I need a seat because...." then I would assume their need was greater than mine and I would get up.

no, you get it the wrong way around IMO.

I would get my 7 and 10 year olds get up for older people or mums with babies/pregnant ladies!

The only time I travelled on a train when pregnant, I was with my mum and dad, who were in their 70s. My mother brightly asked, in a way that didn't countenance refusal, for someone to give me a seat. IIRC we all got offered seats... mum had been a teacher of the sort you just didn't say no to!

If the parent had no seat themselves and explained that the child was disabled then I would. A lot of healthy looking adults have hidden disabilities or health problems, far more than children so you'd have to accept that not everybody would be able to help but someone should.

I wouldn't move for a child that wasn't disabled though, healthy children should be able to stand without problems, at five I was running around from morning to night, as was every kid I knew, I don't understand how so many (non sn) children nowadays are too exhausted to move for more than a few minutes and are incapable of standing. They spend too much time on their arse as it is.

If your worried about someone not believing you, do you have anything to prove that he's disabled? Doubt you'd need anything but it might give you more confidence to ask?

Are children really less capable of standing/balancing? Genuine question - I don't have much experience of children, other than being one myself. I don't remember having particular difficulties with standing at that age though.

I assume the OPs son has a disability, but other passengers may not have been aware - it would probably have been worth asking someone.

Honestly it's easier if people just ask. In the past I've offered my seat to obviously pregnant ladies (with Baby on Board badges so definitely pregnant!) , and people with walking sticks, and they've said no. So sometimes you really just can't tell who does or doesn't need a seat!

As one of those with an invisible disability (arthritis and SPD) I wouldn't unless I could see they were really struggling.

As a child and once I was too big to sit on my parents' laps I would always have to give my seat to an adult.

I wonder how a parent would react if I offered my lap to their child?

I was given a seat once as a young person of 12 by an elderly man. I had terrible period pains and was having problems. He saw this and gave up his seat. He was older but clearly saw that he, at that point, was more able than I. I wouldn't assume that a 10 year old was less able than I was, though. I agree that asking for a seat if you need one is better.

Are children really less capable of standing/balancing?
I would guess some are, some aren't. My DD has been incredibly stable since the age of oh, about 10 months!

Any child with surfer dude hair should definitely be able to cope

I was once on the train with my four year old and a woman refused to give up the seat next to her as she needed it for her (huge) handbag!!! When the guard came round he made her move it- 'seats are for bottoms not bags'. Trouble is we then had to sit next to her all the way to her station, she moaned constantly about having to have her bag on her lap as there was nowhere else to put it! I've never forgotton the mardy old cow!

Agree his Grimma as usual. DD is very able to stand at 2 years. I'm not at 39. I would have to superglue her arse to the chair for a start.

with Grimma*, obviously.

Yes, if the child is short. The grab handles on trains are very badly positioned for small children.

DD2 is 11 and would have trouble in some places. DD1 at the same age was taller and would have been safer.

No. A little one should sit in their parent's knee, an older one should give up their seat for an adult or find somewhere to perch.

No, I wouldn't.

I'd give my seat up for an elderly person, a pregnant woman or someone who was struggling.

I was on a packed train last week for a reasonably short journey and I was surprised when a gentleman in his 50's offered me his seat. It was a nice gesture. I am not pregnant or infirm, he just said it was 'the done thing'.