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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you give up your seat on a crowded train

335 replies

akaemmafrost · 08/10/2012 18:19

During rush hour, for a child, say between the ages of 5 and 11?

I would and have. It's just a discussion I was having today and I thought I would put it to MN.

OP posts:
GoldShip · 08/10/2012 18:20

I probably would yeah! Especially the five year old. It depends how tired I am though. After working a 14hr shift I really do need a seat sometimes!

scattergun · 08/10/2012 18:21

I ask my 7 year old to give his seat up for adults. Have done since he was about 5, but he can sit on my lap if he wants.

manicinsomniac · 08/10/2012 18:22

For a child?

Um, I guess so, if they asked me. (though I'd give it up for a healthy male in their 20s if they asked me to, I'm a total pushover!)

They're not the demographic that I look out for and volunteer a seat to. I have a bit of a weird thing on tubes where I obsessively look out for people who need my seat at every station stop. But kids - I wouldn't think of them tbh.

BurlingtonBertieFromBow · 08/10/2012 18:22

I would for a little kid but probably not an 11 year old, especially if I was really tired/not feeling well. But if they were getting knocked about and having trouble then I would

Coprolite · 08/10/2012 18:22

If the 5 year old could sit on parents lap,then no. But a 'heavy' and older Junior age child then yes.

Themumsnot · 08/10/2012 18:22

It would depend. Generally speaking yes, as children find it far harder to keep their balance on a crowded train.

TidyGOLDDancer · 08/10/2012 18:22

I'm not sure. A five-year-old should probably sit on a lap anyway.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 08/10/2012 18:23

Sure. In fact on Saturday on the tube, when someone got on with a small child and another person pushed past her as she was getting her suitcase on to grab the only free seat (DH and I were standing), I may have made not-totally-inaudible comments about good manners. And someone may shamefacedly have stood up. Grin

I agree with gold I'd be more bothered about the five year old - when you're that age you could go flying if it jolted.

Themumsnot · 08/10/2012 18:23

Should add: My youngest is 10 and I will always have her on my lap if seats are in short supply rather than take up a separate one.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 08/10/2012 18:23

An 11 year old, no. A five year old and a parent who looked like they were struggling, yes. But no if the 5year old was already sitting on a parents lap.

Mrsjay · 08/10/2012 18:24

I don't think I would I would expect my children to stand up and give their seat but if a 5 yr old was struggiling to stand I might give the adult a seat so the 5 yr old could sit on her lap

Coprolite · 08/10/2012 18:24

I would worry that a child needs to be close to their parent on a crowded train,and sitting next to /by them seems best ,and not so likely for them to be shuffled along in a crowd.

Mrsjay · 08/10/2012 18:24

on their lap*

MadBusLady · 08/10/2012 18:25

No, I wouldn't automatically, but I realise that may be just not having children and not being familiar with them . I'd never think of that age group as needing to sit down any more/less than me.

TidyGOLDDancer · 08/10/2012 18:25

I would say no to any child if their seated parent was requesting it. The parent should stand.

Sirzy · 08/10/2012 18:26

I would say that by 11 a child should be standing to let others sit.

TidyGOLDDancer · 08/10/2012 18:26

*Unless the parent was also in need and couldn't lap the child.

Nanny0gg · 08/10/2012 18:27

The 5 year-old can sit on the parent's lap.
Some 11 year-olds have to travel on the train to school on their own, and I think I'd only do it if the train was really crowded and they were struggling.

Original poster
akaemmafrost · 08/10/2012 18:27

Well my 9 year old looks fine but actually has multiple SN including hypermobility and dyspraxia, he falls over A LOT! I never want to ask for him because I think people wont believe me. Usually end up holding him up after about ten minutes. So I think this is why I would always give up my seat even for older children because you never know.

Would you think that was cheeky if I asked and explained? Would you believe me?

OP posts:
Coprolite · 08/10/2012 18:28

Very good point Tidy.

kakapo · 08/10/2012 18:28

If they were struggling yes. But otherwise, no. I find younger children often don't actually sit on the seat, but kneel, stand and won't sit still. That annoys me a little when I'm standing, if they're not going to sit on it, someone else should...

BlueSkySinking · 08/10/2012 18:29

5 year old yes, 11 year old no

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 08/10/2012 18:29

No, probably not. I would expect them to sit on their parent's lap if they were tired or having trouble balancing.

As an aside I did get really fucked off one day on the train when a group of women settled about 8 kids on a double seat each to nap on a packed, standing room only train at rush hour.

alphabite · 08/10/2012 18:29

No. They are probably healthier than me! I would for anyone elderley, ill, injured or pregnant though.

TidyGOLDDancer · 08/10/2012 18:30

I think if you explain and you don't have a seat to give up yourself, then I wouldn't think it cheeky and I would give your DS my seat if I could.

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