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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel really very hurt by my SIL.

434 replies

Diddydollydo · 01/10/2012 21:28

My brother and his wife have just had their first baby (yay!), a beautiful little girl. I wanted to get them something special, or what I thought was special, so I started making a basket up for them a few months ago, adding to it when I could afford to.

I put in bodysuits, babygrows, a music box, teething ring, a couple of little dresses, little soft toys, practical stuff like nappies, wipes, muslins etc. I also made some wee trinkets for DN for when she is older (I make silver jewellery). I decorated the basket with ribbons and balloons and took it round on Saturday and DB and SIL seemed very happy with it. DB rang me when I got home to say thanks again.

Today at work, DB rang and asked me to drop by on my way home from work and pick something up that I'd left there. So he opens the door and we're chatting in the hall. SIL was in the living room and clearly didn't hear me come in as I hear her say 'Yeah, Diddy was here on Saturday. Yes a basket of crap then laughs. Sad DB was mortified and started to walk into the living room but I stopped him, said it didn't matter and left. She's just had a baby and I didn't want them fighting.

However, now I feel really hurt. I put so much thought into the basket and I know that perhaps it wasn't a fancy present but I thought she, in particular, would appreciate it. And most of all, I thought she was my friend. Am I being a twattish sensitive idiot?

OP posts:
Idocrazythings · 01/10/2012 22:44

Hope you're feeling better. She is very lucky to have you, hope she realises that, hold your head up high Smile

exoticfruits · 01/10/2012 22:45

I should keep very quiet and wait and see how she is going to squirm out of it - and don't let her off the hook.

McHappyPants2012 · 01/10/2012 22:46

i would be over the moon with that gift...like any gift recived

yanbu to feel hurt, what a Bitch and i can forgive a new mums hormones, but this was spiteful

LittleBearPad · 01/10/2012 22:48

She's a cowbag. It sounds like a really lovely present.

pigletmania · 01/10/2012 22:48

Just re read what you put into that basket, how lovely and beautiful op. unless she lives on Mars she will need most of those things, shame she is too thick to realise

starfishmummy · 01/10/2012 22:51

Your gift sounds lovely.
Telling your DB that what you both overheard "didn't matter" was a lovely thing to do.
You deserve a big Thanks

Nodecentnickname · 01/10/2012 22:52

How lovely but how nasty of your SIL.

Take comfort from the fact that she is probably squirming about this and will feel really uncomfortable for evermore.

Perhaps never buy her a present again!

TodaysAGoodDay · 01/10/2012 22:52

She sounds like an ungrateful arse. What a kind, well-meant present. I hope she got it in the neck from your DB when you'd left.

Four4me · 01/10/2012 22:52

Lovely gift and you sound so nice, sil on the other hand is an ungrateful cow.

When our dc1 was born my sil bought him a pumpkin outfit (October birth)!! He was premmie and was diagnosed with downs at birth so I can honestly say that the last thing I wanted to do was dress him up as a pumpkin!!! I smiled gratefully and wrote a thank you note saying how kind she was!!! Can I rewind 9 years and have your gift instead!!

I hope she is totally mortified and you are most def not being twattish to feel hurt.

pigletmania · 01/10/2012 22:53

I would love to have that basket but ds is a boy and is 8 months. Having a baby is no excuse for being a rude, vile cowbag

lisaro · 01/10/2012 22:56

When I left a job once I got all sorts, flowers, vouchers, etc. the person I worked closest to did a similar thing for me. It was absolutely wonderful, and to this day I can recall everything in it, down to the flavour of cup a soup. Your gift sounds lovely, shame it was wasted.

CrunchyCowPat · 01/10/2012 22:57

Diddy you are definitely not a twat, in fact you sound like a lovely SIL/Aunt who put a great deal of thought into your gift. I also really admire the dignified way you dealt with what you overheard. Have either of them contacted you since?
I agree with the other posters who suggested Moonsand and fingerpaints as future gifts plus lots of lots of glitter. Oh, and if you do decide on the box of actual crap for Christmas, I have a dog and cat so can start saving up their turds and post them over.
Here are some Thanks for you.

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 01/10/2012 22:57

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 01/10/2012 22:58

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Ohhelpohnoitsa · 01/10/2012 22:59

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arthurfowlersallotment · 01/10/2012 23:00

Ok mumsnet, please inform the OP of the most annoying toys you have ever encountered so she can ensure they are bought for her DN for the next...oooh...eight years.

I'll start.
Tickle Me Elmo
A recorder
Fisher Price Corn Popper

nkf · 01/10/2012 23:00

What a horrible thing. And of course you are no unreasonable. And it's a lovely present. She doesn't deserve you.

PickledFanjoCat · 01/10/2012 23:01

Op how awful for you. Just be assured that is a lovely present that anyone would be over the moon with.

edam · 01/10/2012 23:03

What a cow. Your present sounds lovely and just the sort of thing I'd have been really touched to receive.

(My fave baby present - the lovely friend who sent us a basket of muffins, instead of a bunch of flowers. In the hurly burly of having a real live baby to look after, who constantly needed feeding/changing/rocking, we didn't have time to cook - I'm sure we lived off those muffins for days!0

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 01/10/2012 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YellowDinosaur · 01/10/2012 23:05

Purplepidgin great evil minds - I was going to suggest moon sand too! Evil stuff :o

Or alternatively tap shoes if she has wooden floors. And a recorder :o

Happylander · 01/10/2012 23:06

that really annoying yellow duck on wheels! We had 2 one of mates gave it to me while laughing her socks off LOL

YellowDinosaur · 01/10/2012 23:07

Cross posted arthurfowler :o

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake · 01/10/2012 23:10

I have a bright yellow plastic keyboard I can donate for you to give to her.
It may possibly be haunted. It plays terrifying children's music at high the highest volume even when the volume is on low and its not plugged in.
You sound so sweet and your SIL is a bitch.

arthurfowlersallotment · 01/10/2012 23:11

Has Peppa Bastard Pig made an album?