To feel really very hurt by my SIL.

[Diddydollydo]

My brother and his wife have just had their first baby (yay!), a beautiful little girl. I wanted to get them something special, or what I thought was special, so I started making a basket up for them a few months ago, adding to it when I could afford to.

I put in bodysuits, babygrows, a music box, teething ring, a couple of little dresses, little soft toys, practical stuff like nappies, wipes, muslins etc. I also made some wee trinkets for DN for when she is older (I make silver jewellery). I decorated the basket with ribbons and balloons and took it round on Saturday and DB and SIL seemed very happy with it. DB rang me when I got home to say thanks again.

Today at work, DB rang and asked me to drop by on my way home from work and pick something up that I'd left there. So he opens the door and we're chatting in the hall. SIL was in the living room and clearly didn't hear me come in as I hear her say 'Yeah, Diddy was here on Saturday. Yes a basket of crap then laughs. DB was mortified and started to walk into the living room but I stopped him, said it didn't matter and left. She's just had a baby and I didn't want them fighting.

However, now I feel really hurt. I put so much thought into the basket and I know that perhaps it wasn't a fancy present but I thought she, in particular, would appreciate it. And most of all, I thought she was my friend. Am I being a twattish sensitive idiot?

I think I would ask her if she wanted me to take the basket back? And add that you over heard her say it was a basket of crap.

What a complete bitch. I had a baby last week - remove her gift and give it to me - it sounds lovely :)

Right op I've an idea. Start a thread on here with the title: would you be happy with this for a baby gift, describe the basket. Print it out and next time your there leave it where Sil will see it

I'm so sorry - what a horrible thing to happen. Your present sounds lovely, and you sound extremely dignified.

I'd love a SIL, let alone a lovely present like that.

Or just leave a note like this
'Dear SIL
YOU are a basket of crap
From DiddyDollyDo'

and hatever present you send dn, make sure that between the outer wrapping and the sparlky paper there is a layer of polystyrene... those little balls go everywhere... (when dn is about 3 and likes spreading things about but not eating them)

What a bitch! No need for that at all.

I would say to her next time you see her "please don't feel embarrassed about that nasty comment you made - hormones can turn even the nicest person into a bitch. I've completely forgiven you, so let's say no more about it."

YY to Moonsand

I'll see your recorder and raise you an ice cream maker

DD was given a three foot high walking, talking Dora the Bastard Explorer doll who would wait till we were all asleep and suddenly yell "Weeeee did it!" or "Swiper no Swiping". Scared the shit out of
all of us.

I think I overheard your SIL mentioning that she hoped your niece would get one for Christmas.

Ihave a few cateropillars, one does not turn off...

I'd have loved a basket like that for my DD. Come and join our family instead! At least your DB was mortified.This sounds like one of the most hurtful things that could happen to someone. I'm so, so sorry. I would be patient with yourself in getting over it. It will take time. It's her issue and she is obviously having some issues at the moment. You should probably bring it up with her when she's past the little baby stage.

The only thing I would say is that following DD's birth I was so stressed and hormonal that I actually had the nerve to feel irritated with people for giving gifts I then had to unwrap and put somewhere, especially if there was no obvious use for them. I know it was wrong, but that's how I felt. Madness. It's only now, a year on, that I'm starting to appreciate the trinkets etc. So maybe it was just a case of her feeling stressed and shooting her mouth off for no good reason. But what a total nightmare for you. You do sound like a saint!

Sounds like a lovely present, just the thing any new Mum would like. Even if what was in the basket wasn't her favourite brand or to her taste anyone can appreciate the time and effort. And hand made silver jewellery for a new born to grow into - beautiful.

So just wait until she's round at yours one day, fake a phone call in ear shot and say "yeah, my sister in law just had baby too - hers is a bit crap though"...

You sound like a lovely auntie and SiL.

SIL sounds like an utter bitch. Know wonder you feel hurt.

Any idea who she was talking to?

You were very kind and understanding to you brother by not causing a scene.

I really hope she feels ashamed of herself.

What a nasty ungreatful person.I'm welling up just thinking about how you must have felt.I'd have been delighted with such a lovely present.

Wow. You presents sound amazing!!! Especially the silver jewellery for when DN is older. I wish someone would have done that for me when I had my DC!!!

You sound so kind and thoughtful. Trust me when I say that most normal people would have been eternally grateful for a lovely basket with baby gros and other items for the baby never mind keep sake jewellery too.

A very good friend made me a "survival kit" for the arrival of DC 2 . It was hilarious and really helpful. It was a large box which included calpol, teething gel, stickers (for DD who was 2 at the time), bachs flower remedy, lots of choc for me and choc buttons for DD, earplugs, calming herbal tea and at the very bottom
A large card with my friends mobile number on it!
It was a fabulous present and funny too. She had only six months earlier had her second baby so knew what I was in for.

But I was really moved by her gift. I just cannot believe your SIL. Not just ungrateful but seriously what did she expect??! That everyone would troop up with Tiffany silver rattles??
Hugs for you

for you feeling so hurt after giving her such a lovely gift, I hope she's really embarrassed. Fwiw, my DSis made me up a basket of baby goodies when DS was born and it was fab - everything was really useful and I was really touched at the thought and time that had gone into it.

It sounds like a wonderful and hugely thoughtful gift. Your SIL was incredibly rude. I'm usually one for giving someone the benefit of the doubt but am finding it very hard in this situation.
May I suggest something automatic, musical and very noisy for Christmas?

Btw, asda do a lovely radio with no off switch for DN's first birthday!

Anything vtech should teach her to be more grateful.
You sound lovely, she sounds like a cow- hormones aren't an excuse.

I'd absolutely call her on it. "i heard you didn't like the basket I put together for you. I'm really sorry it wasn't to your taste - ill take it back"

Agree with kekouan, you should feel able to say something, let her know you heard what she said, just that (don't talk to much just state that you heard) and wait for her response, let her talk about it, then if you can maintain the dignity you have shown so far then you will find a way to forgive her.

Just remember you are lovely, and the present was thoughtful and shows how much you care. I would feel very sorry for your new niece and your brother - but try and get past it, because any normal human being would appreciate what you did and that means they both need you in their lives to help counteract her horrible mean behaviour. You are a lovely Aunt.

oh and presents for the future... moonsand, playdough, aquabeads... a plastic pull along dog toy that if you so much as blinked in it's direction it barked out the tune "how much is that doggy in the window".

I would buy her DC lots of glitter..

...and glue..