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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel really very hurt by my SIL.

434 replies

Diddydollydo · 01/10/2012 21:28

My brother and his wife have just had their first baby (yay!), a beautiful little girl. I wanted to get them something special, or what I thought was special, so I started making a basket up for them a few months ago, adding to it when I could afford to.

I put in bodysuits, babygrows, a music box, teething ring, a couple of little dresses, little soft toys, practical stuff like nappies, wipes, muslins etc. I also made some wee trinkets for DN for when she is older (I make silver jewellery). I decorated the basket with ribbons and balloons and took it round on Saturday and DB and SIL seemed very happy with it. DB rang me when I got home to say thanks again.

Today at work, DB rang and asked me to drop by on my way home from work and pick something up that I'd left there. So he opens the door and we're chatting in the hall. SIL was in the living room and clearly didn't hear me come in as I hear her say 'Yeah, Diddy was here on Saturday. Yes a basket of crap then laughs. Sad DB was mortified and started to walk into the living room but I stopped him, said it didn't matter and left. She's just had a baby and I didn't want them fighting.

However, now I feel really hurt. I put so much thought into the basket and I know that perhaps it wasn't a fancy present but I thought she, in particular, would appreciate it. And most of all, I thought she was my friend. Am I being a twattish sensitive idiot?

OP posts:
Teamumizumi · 04/10/2012 11:39

YANBU. But now you have the moral highground and you can give her the evil eye every time you meet her.

My SIL demanded everyone give her organic cotton clothes for her new born DS because normal clothes would give her baby a "rash." Forget the organic clothes, what about the bleeding washing powder? Is she going to use angel breath to cleane the vomit off the babygrows?

She got very excited about an organic cashmere cardigan but I bet she only put it on DS once as it will be handwash only and who does the handwashing -ever when you've got a baby?

MinnieBar · 04/10/2012 11:55

Snot - please stop. Don't let her torture you any longer.

firemansamisnormansdad · 04/10/2012 11:58

My DB and SIL had a baby 3 weeks before Xmas. I put together a hamper for them as a christmas present. It was full of useful stuff to keep in the larder for a few months and was full of upmarket foodstuffs, ie really nice pasta, soup pouches, tinned foi gras (sorry veggies, but this shows that it wasn't cream crackers and a tin of spam), hand made chocolates, champagne etc etc. It cost me over £100.

I delivered it to DB and SIL who greeted us with a furious "you're too early!) despite telling them we would be there just after lunch. It was after 1pm and we'd had to drive 60 miles with my own DCC, plus pick up Mum on the way so that she could meet her new DGS for the first time..

SIL looked at the hamper contemptuously. She never said Thank you. We weren't made to feel welcome.

They said that they weren't doing Christmas that year because of the new baby. It was in March, 3 months later, that SIL's sister tagged them on facebook and they'd gone to SIL's sister's for Christmas. They are now going on holiday again this Christmas so mum has never spent a christmas with her youngest grand son.

OP. Remember, it's them not you.

PickledFanjoCat · 04/10/2012 13:06

Fireman, stories like that make me sad.

Asmywhimsytakesme · 04/10/2012 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BegoniaBampot · 04/10/2012 14:37

I would appreciate the thought and the effort you had put in but I like to buy my own stuff, like unscented wipes, only like certain nappies etc - liked to buy my own clothes for the baby, lots of what I got went to charity which I felt bad about for the person who had made the effort. I would never have been that rude or ungrateful though.

JustSpiro · 04/10/2012 14:45

Possible Christmas gift for your SIL?

TBH I wouldn't even dignify that text with an answer, and just be as polite as you have to be in future and only buy gifts for your DB and niece as 'we obviously have very different tastes...'

Frontpaw · 04/10/2012 16:35

I wonder who the SIL was discussing the gift basket with? I may mutter to my DH about some odd gift but never to anyone else!

FarrowAndBollock · 07/10/2012 14:18

Oh yes, I love the book on manners idea! Beautifully passive aggressive!

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