To wonder - is it normal to feed you children cheaper food than you eat yourself?

[Mrsbiggs]

We (OH, me and 5 of our various children) had corn on the cob with dinner last night. DS (15) and DD (13) said "we aren't allowed to have this at dads - its "adult food"".

I was a bit and asked them what they meant. Apparently their dads OH (they have been together 4 yrs I have never met her but she has caused many many issues, and destroyed a once amicable and friendly divorce) - buys economy food for the children ( she has 2 DC of her own) and finest food for her and the kids dad. They have Heinz beans and the kids have value range, at BBQ's the kids are only allowed a burger or a sausage, not kebabs or chops etc and they aren't allowed pudding (and have to watch the "adults") eat theirs, and they are not allowed to talk at the dinner table . The adults have chops etc while the DC have pasta bake.

Am I right in thinking this is appalling, and bordering on abusive or do other people do this?

Lol like every mumsnet thread it has gone from only ever feeding the kids cheap crap while you eat fillet steak to the extremes.

Fgs you dont always have to eat the same for every meal. If you want to thats fine. I laughed at the 'no grown up food after weaning' comment. The original reference was to a grown up MEAL. It sounded like there wasnt going to be any dessert .

I love how everyone picked up when I said I occasionally have expensive stuff and give the children cheaper stuff, but conveniently failed to notice that its more often the other way around!

Not that I give a shiny shite what anyone here thinks of my parenting, (especially the "I give my children gold plated oysters and eat dust for my dinner" martyrs).

And some children don't appreciate fine foods, same as some adults. I give all my family smoked salmon and expensive blue cheese and stuffed olives and all kinds, only one of my children really enjoys it. The others, and their father, would rather have cheddar and ham. Presumably we should force feed them the good stuff on principle?

BigFat Sunshine You said that they went to bed and then you had chops. So OBVIOUSLY I meant "Go. Up. The. Stairs."

I don't have any stairs. You and your assumptions again. Tsk tsk.

yes, you are right MrSun. My ILs prefer instant coffee and I am constantly trying to force real coffee on them because it seems nicer to me. Really silly. And my children prefer several food items that are simpler (cheddar rather than Camembert). Though I still buy them a nice version of what they like, not just the cheapest possible one.

When I was a kid I always used to find it odd when I went to friends houses for tea, and we would be sat in the kitchen and given Findus crispy pancakes , wheras the mother would be preparing something delicious for the grown Ups to eat later.
This was always in my more wealthy middle class friends houses too.
At home we all ate together, and all the same food-stews, curries, pasta, whatever you could make a lot if from scratch. Consequently I have always found so called kid food revolting. Ds and I eat together. Last night we had Thai stir fry. I just add a little extra Xtra chilli to mine. How can children develop a liking for good food if they never get it ?

Oblamov I have 2 girls who eat and eat....I wouldn't open two tins of bloody beans though!

Give them Heinz you tightwad.

What is the point in giving them Heinz when they are happy with a cheaper version? I never buy branded beans, spaghetti etc. I don't eat it and the DC are happy with the cheap version. Saving money on these items means more money for other things.

Midori - the point is that you eat the value beans too......

Well, I don't eat beans, neither do my DC that often, but if they like something cheaper and I don't, why wouldn't I just economise where I could? For some people buying a cheaper version for their DC might be the difference between a trip out at the weekend for the DC or not, or buying some treats for the DC that week?

That is disgusting. My DC's eat the same as us. If DC's friends come around we probably eat better but certainly not worse. You can't change this woman but you can talk to your husband and ask why your children are treated like this.

I like heinz so I have it and so does dd

I buy it for myself and give it to dd when she has beans

Piglet, if I was going to eat beans, I'd probably either buy the value brand if I liked them too or if I only liked Heinze, then buy them for all of us. However, I don't think there is anything wrong with people saving money where they can.

Just because something is more expensive, it doesn't mean it is better. I always buy Smart Price Fromage Frais, for example, if I shop at our local Asda, as they stock limited brands and no sugar free ones and the smart price ones are lowest in sugar of them all. Plus, what happens if you DC prefer the cheaper version? Mine prefer cheap pizzas to the more expensive version that we would have if we (rarely) have pizza. Should I make them eat the more expensive brand anyway, regardless?

EX husband.

• and my kids love corn on the cob - they are not allowed it aged 13 and 15 because it's "adult food".

Having read through much more I agree, she is abusing the DCs and the Ex is enabling her abuse. So, either go the CSA ruote to ensure maintenance continues and stop them going, or just make a fuss of them when they get home and assure them that they are worth so much more as people etc. and that it's only a few days a month, and they don't have to go back if they don't want to. Also, make sure you have a good meal, maybe their favourite foods, for them to eat when they get back. Do they ever say anything to the SM or their father about these things?

I have a step son, grown up now, and he always ate what we ate, sat where he wanted, generally behaved like he was at home, he actually had more freedom at ours than his mums but that was just down to different parenting approach.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts, you mis-read my post.
If we are all (4 of us) eating beans, I open 2 tins of heinz. Dh and I only like heinz.
If I am doing a snack/lunch for just the ds's, I will use value, becasue that is what they like/don't mind/prefer.
You calling me a tightwad is ironic, because of all my faults (and there are many) that is one of the things I am SOOOOOO not.

thats just horrid

"she is abusing the DCs "
Everyone has different definitions of what constitutes abuse.
To Me, this is not abuse.

I do hate how STILL on some pub menus etc, the kids stuff is the cheap crap. I don't want separate food for the kids, just smaller portions of what we are having!

Yes, ok, sometimes they will want/choose to eat different things to you and DH, and everyone has their likes and dislikes. But I think the concept of "adult food" and "children's food" is peculiarly British and I hope, dying out.

I'm amazed. By the whole thread.
Yes, it's a bit off to not allow DCs to eat corn and sit on the sofa.

But FFS I'm my opinion it's just as crazy to suggest that's it's a good thing to give your DCs a double helping of king prawns which was for everyone's dinner, and you eat an egg.
And having a dig at parents who buy cereal for themselves and dare to eat it in front of their DCs.

MarysBeard's post. It's not peculiarly British, sadly, they do it here in Australia too :(.
I hate it too. DS always has a starter off the main menu instead.

Yes, ok, sometimes they will want/choose to eat different things to you and DH, and everyone has their likes and dislikes. But I think the concept of "adult food" and "children's food" is peculiarly British and I hope, dying out.

Nope. They do it here in Sweden too. Varied adult menu and nothing but meatballs for the kids.

My stepmother did this to me and DB. My room was given to the new baby and I was told I could use the spare room unless there were guests, we got cheap squash and food whilst her and my dad had m&s food. I haven't really spoken to my dad in 3 years and have 2 brothers I don't know.

I've been known to do this - but it's based on reducing waste. There's no point feeding them king prawns or mussels or whatever. I'll give them a sample of the fancy adult food - but I won't fill a plate with it just to prove a point.

Why is it more wasteful to feed children king prawns or mussels than adults?