to think that a 3 year old girl shouldn't be in nappies

[missymarmite]

Quick background. I have 1 DS 9, we live with DP and his eldest DD 10, and we have his other two DD, 7 and 3, every weekend from thursday/friday to sunday.

The 3 year old had her birthday last month. I put my foot down and took the executive decision to try toilet training her. Every time before that, I mentioned it to DP he said it was up to his XW to sort it as the resident parent. So one day I just put her in some old knickers and let her run round outside in a dress. She got a bit upset when she wet herself, but over the next couple of weekends she began to get the hang of it. You can tell when she needs to go, because she kind of holds herself down there. At night and when we go out we put nappy pants on her and then she doesn't ask for the toilet, but in knickers she does.

DP told XW that she won't ask for the toilet when in nappy pants, but she has made no effort whatsoever to toilet train her, despite the fact that she only works part time and has every weekend child free, while both DP and I work full time and are exhausted most of the time, we still make the effort.

Am I BU to be frustrated and annoyed at this woman?

Shurrup Worra don't be ruining my fun.

Not your place.

Totally confusing for this poor little girl caught in the middle.

Aren't you clever.

I'm such a grass

Sounds like this is all just stemming from your feelings of resentment towards ex...

this child is very evidently trainable, that isn't the issue though.

"
I am very against putting nappies on sometimes and not other times "

part time training works for some people.

The child is ready from what you say. So YANBU. Other woman sounds lazy.

Yab extremely u. I have a 3 year old girl who ex is trying to bully me in to potty training her. She is not ready plus she has and still has to weather a lot of change lately. I'm not bloody doing yet and that's that. What you are doing is my worst fear - that idiot exp will
Attempt to start potty traing during contact and she will end up confused and with issues.
Post some research that proves that being in nappies post 3 is damaging and I might listen. Btw the median age for training is between 2 and 4.

I went up the HV I got do pissed off about this issue. She was horrified that exp was trying up push it for no good reason.

Right well sit your skinny behind down here beside me and try to look pious and innocent.

*Clears throat

Malteaser anyone?

Come and get your Malteasers everyone

CookingFunt has shit loads of them

your being very unfair on this poor child. clearly its her mums job to train her and you are pushing it when clearly you cant carry it on as shes not with you!!
leave the kid alone.

This is a great example of why shared parenting is v challenging.....

What?! Is this for real? How DARE you?

I seriously hope this is a wind up, if not you are seriously out of order.

Staggering.....just staggering. What a lovely person you are.

You've decided to potty train your partner's child? Are you out of your mind? Who the hell do you think you are?

Try butting out.

My oldest child was 3.5 btw. You're wrong and rude and really, really inappropriate. I can't think what your partner was thinking to let you start on this.

If you did anything of the kind to my child you and I would be having strong words. You need to back the fuck off and sit your sanctimonious and oh so judgy arse down, executive decision bollocks. It is not and never has been your executive decision to make.

OP. May I add to my above post? I am generally very supportive of the idea of "house rules" and I also don't believe that it is nothing to do with you...after all, as you mention in your OP, you are providing some (how much, if you don't mind my asking?) of the care (and the nappy changing) for the child. (Also - she must be in nursery or with a minder some of the time, since you and DP both work fulltime? What happens there, re: the toilet?)

I also get the impression that you are feeling the strain of going from looking after a household of two (you and your DS) to looking after a household of four, sometimes six. Anyone would!

But this isn't a question of 'house rules' or appropriate behaviour. Please don;t look at it that way.

Omg you actually had the brass balls to try to potty train someone else's child?

*Struggles to keep a straight face and decends into snorting laughing whilst clapping hands like a seal on speed.

oohh did someone say maltesers?

yes please

3 is still within normal range.
Nurseries have to take children still in nappies.

Ds1 was trained at 3 (just). Ds2 probably wont be because he has a speech delay so cant communicate very well.

You are not the parent and tbh i think youve got a bit of a nerve toilet training someone elses child without their permission. I would be seriously pissed off

there is some evidence that after 2.5 is more difficult, and another study suggesting more difficult after 3.5 - hard to study though - basically what is 'right' with PT has jack all to do with this one. No evidence of 'psychological harm' for anything.

Come on out with it. You just don't like the xw. If it weren't nappies, it'd be something else. All this I work full time and yet I can manage it nonsense? You don't like her, fine. Don't make it about nappies though.

i'm just pouring a night-cap, anyone else want one?

yabu, she may have learned from her experience with TWO older daughters that training is quicker when they are ready.