to not want to spend half the day in the AN clinic on Friday when it would have been my DD's seventh birthday that day?

[confuddledDOTcom]

Really not looking forward to it! I've had the appointment a few weeks but it didn't occur to me what the date was until we were discussing plans for the weekend.

Last night I emailed the SoM who has helped me with a few things and asked if she can arrange somehow to get me pushed through because it's a high risk clinic it means a half day appointment, they're bad enough at the best of times but it's really not a day we want to be hanging around there. As it's a high risk clinic it's only held monthly as non-obstetric doctors come from another hospital.

I'm getting a little twitchy because I've had no "away" message but she's not responded yet, I'd have thought with something this sensitive she could have at least sent me a reply and said "let me see what I can do" even if she needs time to work things out. I just want to know that I'm not going to have to sit around there. OH's hoping to get out early too, even though he's coming with me, so we can take the girls to visit their sister.

So what do you think - should I just put up with three hours there on that date, am I being too twitchy about a reply?

[NOTE FROM MNHQ: Please note that we have changed the thread title of this thread - which may mean that some of the following posts do not make complete sense, as they are referring to the previous, no-longer-visible version of the title. Apologies for all the confusion, and best of luck to the OP in getting the appointment situation sorted out. Thanks, MNHQ]

I got from the OP that her daughter had unfortunately died.

It would have been her 7th birthday.

Taking the girls to visit their sister.

The OP did a very good job of explaining it without mentioning the obviously sensitive subject matter IMO.

If I were you OP I would expect a reply sooner than later and think that they could make an exception in this case.

Was changed on page 3

Lougle, I know why people misunderstood and have apologised several times for it. I'm not quite sure what else you want me to say really. It's become more than explaining why people were confused though when it's been explained so many times and AFTER I realised my mistake and explained it. At NO point have I blamed anyone else for the confusion.

It's like ground hog day on this thread

Hope they can help you out, for what it's worth, my neice Georgie would have been 16 today

I managed to miss some posts by not realising that I wasn't on the full thread page.

Exactly, chipmonkey. My eldest LC is in the same year so all her milestones are her sister's too. I don't imagine her still being that fragile 20 weeker who was just too small to save, I imagine what she would be doing and from my experience other angel-parents do too.

Thank you Northernlurkerisbackatwork still no word.

blondiedollface the thread name was changed but that was what I was aiming for, just didn't work so well without the context from the original place it was posted.

Bloody hell I'm quite glad my internees been down all day now.

If you don't want to read every post at least try the first couple and last couple, I think it's been said on every page that the thread title has been changed.

Or even better, if it's a sensitive subject like this just read the whole thread!

Op sorry you haven't heard anything yet

Confuddled, I know that. I've never thought you misunderstood my post. Clearly other posters have though.

Have you considered asking if you can have your blood taken tomorrow, so the results are ready and you can just have the consultant appointment on Friday?

The results wouldn't be ready anyway on Friday so when I have them isn't important. I have 4 different people to see on Friday, two departments to get new appointments from and then the pharmacy which takes anything up to an hour when it's quiet, so unless I'm bumped all day there's no other way to shorten the day. If I don't hear from her I will call the ACT MW and get her to put a prescription in for me to collect Friday to shorten that wait.

Op! I realised straight away that your DD must have died. The words, 'would have been' made it crystal clear.

Am rather shocked at the stupidity and insensitivity of some posters who then seemed to have a go at you for not making it clear to them.

So sorry for your loss and hope you can re-arrange things.

Hello all

Apologies for the confusion, which we probably added to by changing the thread title - I've added a note to the OP now (hope this is OK with you, confuddledDOTcom) that will (I hope) help to make things clearer for people new to the thread.

Best of luck to confuddled in getting this sorted out - we'll be thinking of you on Friday.

Thanks
MNHQ

Thread title changed, sorry. Stand by what I said to Lougle though.

Rhinestone, I don't think I've resorted to personal attack throughout this thread, despite the posts aimed at me. I'd appreciate if you also would refrain from personal attack.

Thank you for that Rowan.
I can't believe the number of people that have come on here misunderstanding because they couldn't be bothered reading the fucking thread.

Have just read through this, and am horrified! How awful for the OP - not only has she lost a child, but she's subject to horrible comments. Shame on those of you who are nit-picking & making nasty statements.

OP, I'm so sorry you lost your baby. The anniversary must be so difficult & spending it in a hospital doubly-so.

Just a couple of thoughts: can you get 1st on the appointments list for that day? First in normally gets seen & away first. Also are there any tests which could be done elsewhere/another time (eg bloods taken the next day at Dr's surgery)? Any professionals that you don't strictly need to see that day?

Also, is there anyone in the clinic you could approach on the day to explain the circumstances? They could let the other staff know if appropriate & try to move things along quicker?

I hope the day goes as well as it can

i'm going to say it before anyone else does......it has taken so long to read the whole thread, the previous poster hasn't seen the updated op.............

Ladybeagle

Dont you think the sheer volume of people making the same mistake of posting before reading the whole thread is because the first page looked so awful ?

Ive never ever seen so many people do this on one thread.

of course everyone smugly stating 'read the bloody thread' has only made the thread longer and less likely to be read to the end.

But yeah carry on folks.

I think we all need to get over the fact that many posters don't read whole threads. It's not a crime, it's just what some people do, much as some shoppers take more than 12 items to the checkout labelled 12 items or fewer. Shock horror.

Mostly it doesn't matter, but in this thread it does and it has become less of a discussion than an unfortunate series of posts.

I see the thread has moved on and title change would it maybe better to get the thread deleted and start again It is 8 pages long and this is really sensitive subject , it is just going to be repeated read the thread read the thread

Thank you Rowan I don't mind at all.

lotsofcheese, that's what I was trying to do in advance but if all else fails I'll call the ACT MW so she can arrange a prescription and I'll get there early and go to PALS to see if they can pre-warn people before I get there.

Lougle, I realised my mistake and apologised, you then explained to me my mistake even though I had already said it anyway so I guess that's why it didn't come across as anything other than what it was taken for. In fact your first post on this thread was 10 minutes after I explained my mistake.

I hope you get some support on Friday to minimise the stress.

Well she got back to me today and said there's nothing she can do. I think I'll try talking to PALS and see if they can do anything. She said Saturday appointments tend to be really quick... which would be nice if I had a Saturday appointment!

Really? That's a real shame, because it sounds like all it would take was someone pulling your notes out of a pile and plopping them on the top. We used to do that all the time in outpatients, for example, if someone was epileptic and tended to fit chronically, we'd try and get them in and out as soon as possible because of the lights. Or someone who used patient transport.

Could you face getting there right at the start of the clinic? That way you could have a word and perhaps slip in before other ladies arrive, then have bloods done after.

The last thought is to phone the Consultant's secretary directly, and have a word with him/her. The secretary is able to pass messages on so much easier than other people, and it's in the consultant's interests to have you as least stressed as possible, because you'll take up less of his clinic time

I hope whatever happens, that you have a peaceful day tomorrow.

My appointment is 9:30 so we're going straight from dropping the elder children at school. I was thinking of speaking to PALS as we have to walk past their door to see if they can have a word.

Will be thinking of you and your dd tomorrow.