to not want to spend half the day in the AN clinic on Friday when it would have been my DD's seventh birthday that day?

[confuddledDOTcom]

Really not looking forward to it! I've had the appointment a few weeks but it didn't occur to me what the date was until we were discussing plans for the weekend.

Last night I emailed the SoM who has helped me with a few things and asked if she can arrange somehow to get me pushed through because it's a high risk clinic it means a half day appointment, they're bad enough at the best of times but it's really not a day we want to be hanging around there. As it's a high risk clinic it's only held monthly as non-obstetric doctors come from another hospital.

I'm getting a little twitchy because I've had no "away" message but she's not responded yet, I'd have thought with something this sensitive she could have at least sent me a reply and said "let me see what I can do" even if she needs time to work things out. I just want to know that I'm not going to have to sit around there. OH's hoping to get out early too, even though he's coming with me, so we can take the girls to visit their sister.

So what do you think - should I just put up with three hours there on that date, am I being too twitchy about a reply?

[NOTE FROM MNHQ: Please note that we have changed the thread title of this thread - which may mean that some of the following posts do not make complete sense, as they are referring to the previous, no-longer-visible version of the title. Apologies for all the confusion, and best of luck to the OP in getting the appointment situation sorted out. Thanks, MNHQ]

The title was changed 3 pages into the thread, after nobody seemed to have read the orginal title which was

to not want to spend half the day in the AN clinic on Friday when it would have been my DD's seventh birthday that day?

So all the posts about not understanding was simply a case of NOT actually reading the title properly, it was then changed 3 pages for those unable to read titles correctly!

That wasn't the original thread title at all. Thats the current title. The original title was in the present tense and made no sense in the context.

Do READ dear, before complaining.

This is the reason why I get so annoyed by people that don't read the fucking thread.
Op, I hope they can sort things out for you on the day.

I'm with you there Lady beagle and normally I do or at least flip the thread to read the last posts but I will say that some people (not normally myself ) do seem to make a point of jumping in on AIBU threads just to cause trouble.

OP i'm very sorry about your daughter and I hope you are able to sort something out with the AN clinic. And apologies for 'jumping in feet first'

Multi poodles - if you read Oliviamumsnet's post she quotes the original and the revised thread titles.

And since dot clarified situation I don't think anyone has said that sibu to not want to spend half the day hanging around the antenatal clinic given the sensitive circumstances.

She is NBU. Hopefully the SoM will be able to sort things out.

I haven't asked for the appointment to be changed, just that I don't have to wait around for 2.5-3 hours just for half an hour's worth of appointments. You get an appointment to turn up for US to join the queue. Everything from there is waiting until they get to you.

I would never say that you have to have been there to understand, although it is true for some people, I only said that someone who hasn't lost a child has no right to say I can't call the day my daughter was born her birthday - what else should it be called? Or do we forget it all together and only remember Saturday?

I'm sorry for the confusion I caused originally

I never said you can't call it a birthday, and you know it. I Said it isn't common usage, especially without any clue as to context. But if you want to pretend that anyone who didn't know your circumstances prior to your OP is just uncaring and insensitive, knock yourself out.

Of course it is common usage [confusion]

Besides, do you really think it is appropriate to give the OP a hard time??

OP, you probably are being overly twitchy but that is not unreasonable.

Also, to be honest, I'm not sure it's common usage to refer to someone's 'birthday' if they have died.

Lougle well Ive never seen a problem with it, I remember my deceased Mum and Dads birthday every year and say things like "so and so date is my Mums birthday, she would have been so and so age". Dont get this reasoning at all - birthday is the day someone was born after all!

Lougle - of couse it's common usage

A day that a person is born is called a BIRTHday. That doesn't just stop because they died, but you know, if thats what you want to think, knock yourself out....

How are bereaved people supposed to refer to the date of birth of the person they have lost so as to cause minimum upset/offence/confusion to people who have not been bereaved?

Actually Lougle, just knock yourself out, full stop.

I understood what she meant from the title where she wrote: would have been my daughters birthday. It was clear to me before I opened the thread.

Was changed by mumsnet page 3

And cpnfuddled, of course it's your daughters birthday. Ignore the idiots.

YANBU to not what to sit there, I wouldnt either if I were you. But as its only monthly appointments i think you have to. Just make sure you have enough time to go and visit your daughter.

unsureunderneath that's because the thread title has been changed.

Thanks dotty

unsure read the whole thread before you go calling people idiots, as the title was changed - originally it wasnt in the past tense.

Yet another shining example of people being too lazy to read a whole thread and too quick to criticise.

For the 15th time: The title has been changed.

Is there anyway we can ban people from commenting without having read the thread? A little quiz above the post message button or something?

I jumped in last night before I noticed never had a go at anyone but apologised immediately

Lougle is an idiot for thinking it isn't her daughters birthday.

I could read a million threads and still come to that conclusion.

Gee this is the most unfortunate thread ever.

Poor OP.

Personally think it would be better moving it from AIBU