SIL will be 30 later this year. She had planned to go to Las Vegas with a group of friends for her actual birthday so DH and I took her away for 4 days in July as her birthday present - which was what she wanted
I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with our first DC. I've booked for DH and I to go to an NCT class at the end if October for two days. I knowvthatbpeoole have different views of the NCT but it's important to me that we go. The class is on SIL's birthday weekend but that was fine as she was going to Las Vegas and we had already taken her away for 4 days.
Labout a week ago, DH started telling me a tragic story about SIL being terribly let down by her friends as surprise surprise once it actually came to stumping up the £1,500 for the holiday and taking a week of leave, people are now deciding they don't want to go. The trip isn't cancelled though - SIL is still going with her boyfriend and another couple. However, the date has been moved and SIL will also be having a party on the day of her birthday to make up for the disappointment. Party is about two hours drive away. DH said he would have to go as SIL had been so terribly let down by her friends and was devastated. I did bite my tongue as I do feel that SIL has quite naive to expect people to spend this amount of money/make that commitment of annual leave in the first place.
I pointed out to DH that the course was that weekend, that we had agreed we woukd go, that it was important that we went (it is to me even though I know that people have mixed views re nct) and that I was very sorry for SIL but she was still having a lovely trip to Las Vegas with her boyfriend FFS which was quite a lot more than lots of people do for their 30th birthdays. As a compromise, I gave various dates that SIL could come and visit us for another birthday treat. These dates are up to two weeks before I give birth. Fairly or unfairly, I'd rather be relaxing and not having people to stay then but I was trying to compromise.
Last night, DH told me that SIL is devastated that he won't be coming to the party. None of the dates I have given suit as SIL has various parties she wants to go to but she can come the week before the baby is due as SIL doesn't want to miss any parties etc. As SIL was so disappointed, DH has promised her he will finish the course at 5, drive to this fucking party for 2 hours, go for a bit and then drive home (no drinking). We'll then go it the second day of the course when DH will be exhausted
Rightly or wrongly, I've told DH that SIL and her boyfriend are not coming to stay a week before the baby is born. I'm thoroughly pissed off that DH is going to this party and I've made that clear to him. However, I think I'm angriest with SIL who knows the situation but is still guilt tripping DH in to doing this when I feel (given what we've already done for her birthday) that it would be nice if she could put DH/DC first in this situation and realise that DH has made a commitment to come to the course and actually he'll be fucking exhausted driving four hours there and back. What pisses me of more is that SIL won't change any of her commitments to going to parties etc to visit us on a date that suits us but we're expected to rearrange our lives to allow her to be the 30th birthday princess there, I've said it now!
I have spoken to DH and I realise that he is caught in the middle to a certain extent and we have reached an uneasy truce. However, I've slept on it and still woken up raging so I need to vent on here
I'm actually wondering about saying something to SIL which is very unlike me but I'm wondering about just giving her a call and being honest and saying I'm upset that DH is in this position. Don't think it will help but I'd feel better!