To not want to babysit this elderly lady?

[hoopyloopy2]

I have just booked a once in a lifetime trip to see an old friend in Australia. Having heard about it, someone I know (not a close friend) has asked me if I would mind her booking her elderly mother (80s) on same flight so i can keep an eye on her on the trip (the mum has been thinking of visiting family there but apparently reluctant to travel alone). I really don't want to - this trip is a big treat for me, costing me a lot of money, and with two DCs at home, the flight was going to be some long-awaited me-time. AIBU if I say I can't help? And if not, what on earth do I say without looking like an uncharitable old cow?!

Although I agree that it isn't anyone's responsiblity other than the lady's family, pointing them at Assisted Travel - not so much linking as mentioning it - might be a logical way of showing them that there are other, better options available. This would get them off her back whilst leaving the OP with at least some feeling of having been helpful.

But only if feeling helpful is important to her . There's no point in doing it otherwise, as the person who is asking isn't even a friend, so there is no relationship to be preserved.

I love pictish's point above, about women being valued by how little we value ourselves.

Making this sort of request requires a closer relationship and better contact details. I would be polite and say no without a reason. I might mention assisted travel if I knew what it was

If for any reason I spoke to her i would say 'I really don't want to - this trip is a big treat for me, costing me a lot of money, and with two DCs at home, the flight was going to be some long-awaited me-time', or 'no' or 'that doesn't work for me'. I might add ' I hope you get it all sorted out. As it is so important to YOUR mum, have you thought about going yourself?'

Just as an update: I sent the message, trying to be as unapologetic as possible and suggesting she look into assisted flying. She said that I would only need to do the return leg now as already had someone lined up for outward journey, but understood if I was unable to help all together (which I confirmed was still the case). Phew . Thanks again for all the advice.

You're not being unreasonable in the least. I'm an introvert, I would find sitting next to a close friend or anyone other than my partner exhausting for 30 hours.

It's cheeky to ask.

Glad you stuck to your guns and your acquaintance is already sorting out other options.

Enjoy your holiday (and the flight!).

I bet the person she has lined up for the outward journey is kicking themselves for saying yes. They should have come to AIBU to discuss it first before agreeing!

Glad is all worked out well OP - good that you stuck to your guns.

This thread has been an education, to say the least

Good for you!

Great thread! Good outcome. :)

Nice one! Now you can enjoy the flight, drink free booze and eat lovely small airplane food. I luffs flying.

Very good thread and good outcome. Well played OP.

Is this just a female thing?

I like flying alone, just do.

But both DH and DB assume that I would prefer to travel with them for company when the opportunity arises (which I do utmost to avoid).

The thought of sitting next to an elderly stranger for 30 hrs in economy is enough to make me cancel the trip! Gak! so glad OP said no and its sorted...

Does the old lady know strangers are being roped into babysitting her? If she's flying round the world I presume she's fairly independent. The opening post said she was reluctant to travel "alone", but the woman maybe just would rather travel with a friend or family. She may not be impressed at having a garrulous stranger thrust on her by her daughter. I wonder if the daughter is pushing her mother into this trip to get rid of her for a few weeks. Old people aren't necessarily any more sociable than younger people.

Well done. Now you can relax and enjoy.

If possible I recommend buying into an airport lounge at the outset - it's often not very expensive and it gives you a nice place to sit (and free drinks) while you are in the airport.

Delighted to hear this! Hope you have a wonderful time .