Is my husband a massive idiot or do I owe him an apology?

[obvioussockpuppet]

DS (5) has a real intolerance to anything mint flavoured. He says it burns his mouth/gives him a poorly throat so I tend to buy him strawberry flavoured toothpaste or similar. I did an online shop a few weeks back and they sent me mint toothpaste as a substitute for strawberry. Rather than chuck the mint stuff out, I put it in our bathroom cabinet with the intention of giving it to my mate for her DCs. It is still in there.

A few night back, DH accidentally brushed DS's teeth with the mint stuff and DS really sobbed. He just hates mint, really really hates it. So last night, DH tells DS he is having his teeth cleaned with the mint toothpaste Ds obviously protests but DH then proceeds to make him have his teeth cleaned with it. DS cries loudly so I go upstairs to see why he is making him use the fucking toothpaste.

I snatched the toothbrush off DH and washed the mint stuff off, then gave him the strawberry stuff to clean his teeth. DH then starts saying that DS is crying to "play us off against each other" he is "crying for attention" "he cries for nothing" I said that actually I think it is borderlining on abuse to force a child to consume something that provokes such a violent reaction in them. DH is a vegetarian, would he like it if I stuffed a wodge of wafer thin ham in his trap?

We didn't speak for the rest of the night and he has just text me saying that what I said was serious (about borderline abuse) but I think I am right. I also said he is power-pissed where DS is concerned. I hate hearing my little boy sobbing over something as lame as toothpaste and I WILL stand up for him! Fancy making him use that toothpaste is he hates it that much.

It sounds petty written down.

I am a regular under a NC by the way because I am planning on showing DH this thread.

I think your DH is coming over as an unkind man who likes to lord it over his son. It is "do as I say not as I do'.

He is deliberately upsetting DS over things that don't matter. Does he enjoy the battle and the tears? Why can't DS choose his own toothpaste?

DD1 refused to brush her teeth for years. What a battle we had to get a brush in her mouth. Your DH should count his blessings.

Pick your battles and save your energy for what really matters. Plus always be ready to back down if their argument has some merit, children do appreciate being given a say in things.

it was me who asked about him eating after his evening meal.....

have you pointed out these massive double standards to him? its sounds like his suppers are perfectly healthy if you offer crackers and cheese etc - i would really have to call my DH on such twatty behavior tbh.

I would agree with your DH if your DS were refusing to brush his teeth at all, or if he were insisting on something like crisps or cake or whatever every night.

But strawberry toothpaste does the job as well as mint, and a few crackers are not going to make a rod for your back ffs.

Why fight these battles? I don't get it. And again, I am a fairly strict and do-as-I-say parent.

LiuveDalas it was a childs toothpaste. If you only let your child try something once they will end up very faddy!! All 3 of mine sren't fussy eaters & brush ther teeth, Fine to have a preference for a type of toothpaste but they do need to know that cleaning teeth is more impoortant than making a fusss about a flavour that is spat out, you're niot supposed to swallow it so no, her dh wasn't hurtung him.

So if something is in your mouth but not swallowed, you don't taste it? . Your tastebuds aren't in your stomach you know!

RedHelenB,

If my daughter tries something and tells me she doesn't like it I don't make her try it again. She is not faddy at all, has a varied diet, brushes her teeth well, is fit and fine and healthy.

She doesn't have a toothpaste issue (although doesn't like strong mouthwash) and is confident enough to tell me when she doesn't like something, knowing I won't force her to try it again. She knows her own likes and dislikes, likes most veg etc (even stinking horrible beetroot that I detest) and is always willing to try new things.

Again, the strawberry toothpaste was RIGHT THERE and is just as effective. There was no need for OPs husband to force the issue.

It does hurt though! I cannot use mint toothpaste I physically can't. It makes me cry because my mouth feels like its on fire. I use Crest cinnamon or citrus, or the delicious teeth one, failing all that Peppa Pig bubblegum
If I ran out of toothpaste I would rather brush my teeth with bicarb than mint. And washing it out makes it burn more
The only way I can describe it is like ice cream with sensitive teeth, that kind of pain and discomfort feeling that carries on for a while
It sounds like he just wanted to be "I am parent you are child" there wasn't any reason not to use the other one

Hilarious that some people refuse to accept other people's experience, just because it's outside of their own.

Mint can hurt sensitive mouths. It happens.

I am in my forties and have been periodically trying honey, all my life, to see if I like it. I still don't like the flavour.

My Ds has orange flavoured toothpaste at present because mint is too strong.

I also find mint mouthwash extremely painful.

Your Oh is being an arse

my DD hates mint too, she'll probably grow out of it but for now she has strawberry or berry toothpaste. No big deal for me or Dh

Did you have a talk with your husband sockpuppet?

One Dc likes mint toothpaste, the other doesn't.

I buy one each.

It all gets used and they clean their teeth quite happily. Pick your battles is my motto.

If this is the one thing DC kicks off over, YANBU!