To have the rage at parents ignoring instructions for reception drop offs?

[YellowDinosaur]

Ds2 started in reception last week. They did mornings last week and a few kids started each day, staggered by age. As he is one of the oldest he started on Friday. This week they stay till after lunch and we were advised today that in the mornings parents should now drop them off at the door and not come into the classroom anymore. So far so good and all totally reasonable.

Now I knew this morning would be tough. While generally confident and happy with school ds2 has always been a bit clingy at drop off even in his old nursery where he has been for years. Generally taking our time makes things a lot easier and then he is fine. I was totally happy with the fact that I couldn't do this anymore and had bigged him up about going in on his own like a big boy.

So we get there this morning and he's obviously wobbly and not wanting to go in. he repeatedly said that he wanted me to come in with him to which I replied 'i'm not allowed to come in anymore I'll stay here and wave but you need to go in on your own.' Eventually the teaching assistant had to lift him up and take him in which wasn't very nice for anyone, but again nothing unreasonable yet.

What gave me the rage was the 2 mums who went in breezily anyway to settle their kids, ignoring these instructions. What does this say to ds2? My mummy doesn't care enough to chine in but yours does? thanks for thinking you can do whatever the fuck you like, making it harder for all the other kids who are a bit wobbly and actually only prolonging the inevitable for your own. Grrrrrr!

I don't have a problem with people taking a bit longer to settle their dc if they need to. It doesn't affect me or my dd in the slightest.

But I do have a problem with those who do it when there's no need i.e. their dc is happy to go in on their own, yet they still go in and help them then hover round the classroom window waving at them, thus blocking the passageway out of the school.

Prairie Believe me, after my experience of DS1 running into school without a backward glance I assumed DD would be the same. Being heavily pregnant at the time I definitely didn't want to be hanging around the classroom for 4/5mins whilst she settled in I wanted to be at home with my feet up and a cuppa but I did it for 2 weeks because that is what DD needed. The teachers had no problem with it and I had no problem with it.

at the age of 4 no one should have a problem with it!

Some of you are extremely rude and insulting about parents that do things differently to you.

I could say that parents that leave their child upset and for the teachers to deal with are selfish and cruel. What sort of parents does that to their child. How dreadful and horrible yadda yadda yadda.

But I don't think that which is just as well as things could get very nasty. It's good to enter into robust debate but there's no need to be rude.

Also the quicker you leave the less time they have to work themselves up which they are doing to keep you there.

You do your goodbyes before they go in,hand over then leave pronto.Most kids not happy with this wouldn't even whimper as they know it's a consistent approach,the same for all.If you hang around they'll cry louder and louder,adrenaline kicks in,they look silly to the other kids(who may comment on it later)and it just cranks up to a level it doesn't need to be as the kid will think it's worth a try as mum doesn't keep to rules.

They will then attempt it with other rules later.

brass Wed 12-Sep-12 12:18:24
LOL, onemorechap you're really angry about the parking aren't you?

Does it show?
As a quondam emergency service worker I detest it.

Our Head threatened to the print license plates of offenders in the school newsletter. I wish she had gone through with it as it's a problem we've never eradicated.

Licence plates? I'd have done the whole CCTV name and shame - and then reported them to the Local Authority enforcement team.

Incidentally, BoysBoysBoysAndMe
Don't be so presumptuous

if you smirk with pride about being one of those parents, expect to be recognised as one of those parents from whom you differ only by degree.

Also if the school follows a half decent transition program(home visits,links with pre-school,play sessions,links with community,pre-school visits,shared events with pre-school etc) no child should feel wobbly about going at all anyway.

I agree its good to leave as soon as you possibly can Prarieflower. I take my mollycoddled pfb straight to the classroom, the teacher distracts her and I make a swift exit.

I used to work at a nursery (not quite the same I know) and obviously parents came in to settle their children but we had several instances of mothers who insisted on staying an hour plus. This desperately unsettled other children. That is selfish IMO.

Look, children are all different. You all seem intelligent people and know this but seem to have forgotten if this thread is anything to go by. The ones that are upset wont all be upset over the same things. So what the hell is the point of all these post saying that child X is just playing up for reason Y and the only solution is Z?

So your child settled because you did Z doesnt mean ANYTHING when it's someone else's child that that wouldn't work for.

Good point Prarie - ours had only one settling in session of about two hours. The teacher herself didn't do a home visit and she was off sick on the settling in day. It's effectively like leaving a 4 year old with total strangers.

This is true OvO. All children are different, have different personalities and life experiences. Thus, it stands to reason that their needs will differ too.

We had a fab transition program like that in our school and parents still try it on in Y1 and Y2!

I'm with redshoes, I don't see why settling/reassuring can't be done outside. Keeping parents out if classrooms enforces, IMO, a boundary that actually helps children settle in school, because the classroom is their space, 'uncontaminated', as it were, with missing Mum. Just get there five minutes early, have a chat and cuddle in the playground, and let the TA do their job in taking your child into class and settling them.

Our school absolutely does not allow parents into classrooms after the first day or so. There isn't room, and children are expected to be independent, I never see sobbing children so it's clearly working. Four year olds are perfectly capable of hanging up coats and bags themselves. Fucking hell, my 2.5 year old goes to playgroup two mornings a week and can hang his own coat and bag up, I don't go inside the room unless I need to give them money these days.

I think selfish, cruel etc is all a bit strong, but it shouldn't be necessary, and must be really disruptive for other children sink can see why people get annoyed!

Rest assured teachers know they're in there to have a nose but sadly there isn't space for everybody to have that luxury.

i was going to say the same Prarie, I think some Parents worry about their child becoming independant and not needing them that sometimes they make the transistiona much bigger deal than it needs to be. I know of one Mum who pulled her child out of nursery because she was lonely on her own during the mornings, this isnt gossip she told me herself, as far as I know now she home-schools the child.

Yes prairieflower, dd had several settling in mornings in the June/July before September start of reception, and the children all Rennes really happy and confident in the classroom surroundings.

Well said OvO.

Might have been said already, but I think Boys' attitude says less about what her children need and more about her own neediness. And selfishness, but that has already been said.

Undermining the school's rules isn't just about comforting a child. It gives the child messages that

• Rules are for other people
• We do what we like
• Authority doesn't matter

Not good messages to pass on to your children, so OP YANBU. Those of you who think it's OK, YABU

If there are days when your child needs a bit of extra reassurance then surely it would be simpler as well as more considerate to stand back and let all the other children through first.

If need be you can then have a word with the teacher without disrupting everyone else.

Ditto OvO

Stop attributing negative reasons for people's behaviour. It says more about you than anything else. Unless you can reveal yourself to be the world first real psychic and know for a fact any posters exact reasons for what they have said/done.

How did this turn into a parking thread?

We're encouraged to go in at DS1's school. They want us to see all the work and things the children have gone. Mainly the parents wait in the classroom while the children go and hang their coats up and put bags/lunches etc away. Then we look at anything they want to show us. This morning it was a picture of DS1 and the fire engine he made. Then the parents leave.

But if there was a rule in place then I would try and wait outside. But not if my children were going to be distraught. Not that they'd care I don't think.

gone should be done.