to be angry with this school gate dad?

[bionicmummy]

Bit of background:

DD has recently started primary school. There are a several other kids whom she knows from nursery/playgroup/swimming.

DD doesn't have a 'special' friend, she plays with pretty much everyone, which is what we encourage.

Last week, when we dropped her off at school, a girl she knows from swimming (let's call her A) was standing at the gates with her dad. DD took the girl's hand and went to walk in with her.

The dad pulls back his DD and tells DD 'no, she's waiting for B (another girl)'. DD looked bewildered and hurt. At home time, she mentioned it again and said 'A didn't want to come in with me'

I was really angry on DD's behalf. This was really unkind and other mums heard and saw and commented on it.

Fast forward to today. B is off sick. A is crying at the gates refusing to go in without B. A's dad asks my DD if she will go in with A which she did.

WIBU to have said to the dad "oh now DD is good enough for your daughter? Last week she wasn't!"

I do not want my daughter to be 'used' whenever B isn't around.

Another mum who saw the original incident said I was dead right to make a point.

Oh and we bought the mum a gift for her new baby, so feel extra angry and hurt. Will likely see her at swimming and will be interested to know what she says.

DD is a very kind and sensitive little girl and like I said I encourage her to play with everyone. I could have held her back and said 'no' but I did not. I did speak to the dad though.

What are all your thoughts? Should I have shut up? Am I over reacting?

I am upset that he pushed my DD, I just thought I'd included that part when I hadn't, sorry

pictish I am NOT lying.

You're a long time at those damn school gates OP.

Don't make enemies so early on.

You can see how I might assume that you are embellishing this story though?

Well OP of course if he did push her then I would have told him to keep his hands off my child in no uncertain terms there and then.

Oops forgot the on my post.

So he pushed your dd, which is a whole aibu in itself, and you didn't mention it in your op, and you didn't pull him up about that on the spot, yet you pull him up about something a lot less important a whole week later?

Righto.

Huh he pushed your dd?

And you did not mention this in your OP!

Whatever.

If a school parent pushed my dc that would be the title of my thread.

OP "AIBU?"
Posters x50 "UABU"
OP "I am NOT BU and what really happened is 100000000x worse"

Another fun day on AIBU

He pulled HIS DD away AND pushed yours?

What a cunt-o.

So in the op he pulled back his own child. Now he's pushing your child. Sounds like a lot of hard work this school drop off.

Agree that you are going to get yourself a label of 'Nightmare Mum to be avoided at all costs'

You need to unclench a bit

If he pulled his own daughter back-how did he also push yours?

"The dad pulls back his DD and tells DD 'no, she's waiting for B (another girl)'"

pulled her, or pushed yours? big difference really...

The only one branding your child a "filler" is you!

I am shocked at this thread. You clearly have too much time on your hands, and too little to ponder if you go about detailing who plays with who, and is more likely to accompany this child rather than that child, and whose mum is bessie mate with who!

Grow up. You sound like a fruitloop.

This is nonsense.

Just to clarify - my issue would solely be with the manner in which he spoke to your DD. No problem at all for him making his DD wait for someone else if that had been arranged.

Pushing your daughter is assault. Go on.. tell us.. did he REALLY push your DD???

Perhaps when the original incident occurred you could have said

"Oh how nice of you to wait for B. DD, would you like to wait for B too and then you can all go in together?"

Then nobody need have been embarrassed.

If you feel this angry at an incident like this you are going to find the next few years very stressful. You need to take a big step back and let an awful lot of this wash over you.

Please don't end up like the mum in our village who gets so caught up in her daughters' friendship squabbles that her actions have lost her a lot of friends, including me when she let her jealousy over my DD having a taxi to school get the better of her.

This dad may have been snappy for any number of reasons which were not connected to your DD or who was friends with whom. His daughter could easily have been the one who wanted to wait for B but, if they are trying to manufacture a friendship, they'll soon realise the error of their ways.

I would try very hard to chill out a bit more and definitely find a way to build bridges with this guy next time he's in the playground.

OP OP your pants are on fire!!

Op if you didn't pull up a grown man on the spot for pushing a 4 yo but you still stew over a daft thing like your dd not being selected to walk in with A a week later then your priorities are skewed to say the least.

I'm stunned you left it out of your op, I wouldn't forget a thing like that, unless of course I was just making it up because i could see it wasn't going my way. Not suggesting you are, of course

Just use another gate and stay out of each others way.

This is not going to end well OP!