...to be beside myself with pride over this?

[trumpeter]

Had to share, I'm prob being very pfb but I have been bowled over by dd today.
After a bout of bullying at school then a period of 3 - 6 months with no 'real' friends, dd (15) has been talking about a girl she's met at school who she's became close with. She's been talking about her CONSTANTLY for about 3 or 4 weeks, she's 'great fun, a good laugh, really friendly, not bitchy like all the other girls etc'. I feel like I know this girl inside out already, and we didn't meet until last night when dd asked if she could come round for pizza, a film and stay the night. I was really looking forward to meeting her. So, to cut to the chase, this girl, who is indeed just lovely showed up about 6pm last night, came in, said hello etc then they disappeared off to the room. I left them to it. This morning they came down in their jammies and to my surprise (and don't ask me why I was surprised) I noticed that my dd's new pal is an amputee, she has no right arm below the elbow. I immediately asked her what had happened and she told me she had been in an accident as a baby. Anyway, they ate, lounged about and then her mum picked her up. I asked dd why she hadn't mentioned it before and she simpy said, 'why would I?' while looking at me with a perplexed look. I honestly don't think I've loved her more. Just thought I would share, AIBU to be bursting with pride about my dd's nonchalance about something I'd imagine lots of teen would be awkward about?

No! NOT "Exactly everlong ". It has been explained!

"Every silver lining has a cloud" for some people on here!

Have a little think Everlong. I'm sure it will come to you eventually. Maybe read through the explanations again slowly.

This thread is making me WANT TO SCREAM

The girl has AN ARM MISSING. Right? AN ARM MISSING.

Have you got an arm missing? Do you have lots of amputee friends? Did you watch episodes of CBeebies with the amputee presented and fail to notice her stump?

It is UNUSUAL. It is discomfiting to see if you are unused to it. It has probably been a source of some considerable sadness.

People with SEVERED LIMBS (you are forcing me to shout) are routinely mocked, pointed at, shuddered at, laughed at, pitied; mothers turn their children away from them and WRITE TO THE BBC complaining at an amputee presenter.

In this culture which is very real, to have a child who simply did not think it worth mentioning is unusual. It is nice. It is pleasant. It is utterly worthy of pride.

What if this were fifty years ago, when racism was endemic in the culture, and the girl had not been an amputee but Asian, or black. Could the OP not justifiable have felt proud that her child simply did not care?

Stop fucking falling over yourselves to prove how bastarding PC you are. There are no prizes. You are not going to get a column in the Observer.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get it. We need to proud of children for being friends with other children - who might have a disability? The Ops dd is just friends. Why bring the disability into it?

To clarify: the 'bang' is me exploding in frustration. I haven't started opening fire on Mumsnet

Of course her disability is a non issue! Why would it be an issue? That would be discrimination.

As I said, deliberately obtuse.

Starting to think people are taking the piss a bit here. I also wish Jodie was my friend.

Brilliant, Jodie.

AND I think it is particularly pertinent at the moment when loads of us are boasting talking about how we have been to the Paralympics and been cheering our athletes there.

Brilliant post Jodie.

That Jodie. She's not all that, you know.

Well everlong, explain what it is you are getting.

"Deliberately obtuse" - yep. Determinedly.

Incidentally, DH has been glued to the Boccia on the paralympic. It is a sport which even people who have severe disabilities can play.

He is genuinely moved by the gold medal winner, who is profoundly physically disabled yet a world-class sportsman.

Is he wrong to be impressed? Hmmm? Why shouldn't someone profoundly disabled be a world-class sportsman? Eh? Why is it worth mentioning? Why should DH have even NOTICED the wheelchair, right? What a fucking Daily Mail reading twat he must be, to have acknowledged that someone had a disability.

HAS ANYONE GOT ANY GIN PLEASE?

Everlong, that's not what your other posts have said.

Completely different in fact.

Oh I thought everyone would be really angry with me for using CAPSLOCK and getting shouty!

I'm calming down a bit but I tell you what: I really cunting hate thick people.

God that's like so totally discriminatory. And there was everyone thinking you were so great

But Jodie, OP's dd was just friends with the girl. The fact she is an amputee is by the by. The poor girl probably wants to live her life as normally as possible and her friends should not be held up as saints for wanting to be her friend.

I got it. I'm not sure what's so difficult to understand tbh. The OP is proud because she's raised a DD who sees the person and not the disability and that is progress, especially amongst savages teenagers.

Trumpeter, I hope your DD and her friend had a lovely evening, sounds like they did!

The OP wasn't proud of her DD for making a friend.

The OP wasn't proud of her DD for making a friend with a disability.

The OP was proud that her daughter hadn't seen the disability as a defining feature of her friend!

Think about it - you are mugged, and the person who mugs you happens to have one arm. What would you tell the police?

"She was 5'5 with blonde hair and blue eyes" OR

"She was 5'5 with blonde hair, blue eyes and one arm.

I know I would say the second because it narrows the field of suspects.

My DD has special needs. She goes to special school. All the children have differing needs. We discuss it openly, because it doesn't define the children, but it is definitely there. So we talk about 'x who uses words' and 'y who uses words but sometimes signs' and 'z who uses pictures' because for DD1, it's part of her understanding that she needs help in some areas and her friends need help in different areas, etc.