...to be beside myself with pride over this?

[trumpeter]

Had to share, I'm prob being very pfb but I have been bowled over by dd today.
After a bout of bullying at school then a period of 3 - 6 months with no 'real' friends, dd (15) has been talking about a girl she's met at school who she's became close with. She's been talking about her CONSTANTLY for about 3 or 4 weeks, she's 'great fun, a good laugh, really friendly, not bitchy like all the other girls etc'. I feel like I know this girl inside out already, and we didn't meet until last night when dd asked if she could come round for pizza, a film and stay the night. I was really looking forward to meeting her. So, to cut to the chase, this girl, who is indeed just lovely showed up about 6pm last night, came in, said hello etc then they disappeared off to the room. I left them to it. This morning they came down in their jammies and to my surprise (and don't ask me why I was surprised) I noticed that my dd's new pal is an amputee, she has no right arm below the elbow. I immediately asked her what had happened and she told me she had been in an accident as a baby. Anyway, they ate, lounged about and then her mum picked her up. I asked dd why she hadn't mentioned it before and she simpy said, 'why would I?' while looking at me with a perplexed look. I honestly don't think I've loved her more. Just thought I would share, AIBU to be bursting with pride about my dd's nonchalance about something I'd imagine lots of teen would be awkward about?

All the threads we see about people staring, teenagers sniggering, people being rude towards those with disabilities. Yes it's nice to see that for some young people a friends disability isn't even worth a mention to the mother when she has told her so much about the friend.

Everlong, that's your choice, of course. But the OP has every right to feel proud of her DD. She's not asking if you would be proud of your DC, is she ? Fair enough she posted in AIBU, but why not just read, shrug and move on, why the bonfire pissing - that's what I don't get

everlong she's not proud that her daughter has a friend with a disability, the op has allready explained that

I understood what you were getting at Op. Its not the fact she has a friend with a disability, its the fact that she saw it as unimportant when talking about her.

She sounds lovely btw.

Everlong you are (I suspect purposely) missing the point.
The OP is happy her dd see her friend as her friend. Not as her 'disabled friend'. Too many people lable people as 'disabled collegue' or 'disabled friend'. Itvwoukd be nice if people saw people not the disability.
You wouldn't bat an eyelid, fair enough. Why try and bring the op down?

You're still missing the point everlong.
Nowhere has the Op said she's proud that her daughter has a friend with a disability.
She's proud because her daughter clearly didn't even thing it was something worth mentioning, it wasn't important.

You're proud that she's the kind of person that knows what's important. She sounds a lovely girl to me.

I'm with everlong - Being proud of your DD for not mentioning a disability sort of assumes that you think it was something which would normally have been mentioned. It's a bit ironic that you are proud of yoru DD for not mentioning it, but at the same time think that its worth mentioning on here (and indeed being proud of her for). It does smack a bit of "Isn't my DD wonderful for not noticing how disabled her friend is"?

My DDs best friend is Chinese - I'm not proud of her for having a chinese best friend - she's just DDs best friend.

It isn't good that she doesn't see the girl's disability, she just sees the girl. That is the right and proper thing to do. I wouldn't be proud of my kids for doing this, but I would be bloody disappointed if they didn't!

I am disabled. I don't want people to see my disability, I want people to see me. You know, a person just like everyone else!

Bangs head on table. I give up!! OP, your DD sounds lovely.

The point of the matter is we had been having lots of conversations about this girl, dd is very chatty and tells me everyone's goings on, she's just like that. I knew this girl's hair colour, what subjects she took, even about her dog! I just think it's refreshing that she never said 'oh guess what, she doesn't have an arm'. I have no doubt that many kids would find this a defining feature or talking point. I'm glad my dd didn't, sorry if it's rubbed any of you up the wrong way!

But the point it that lots of people would have mentioned it 'Do you know Susan? Susan with the funny arm?' That's how a lot of people talk, young and old.

What miserable people you are with you're 'that's nothing to be proud of remarks'. I'd have thought Saturday night wine would have kicked in by now, making people a tad more genial. Seemingly not.

We all know how it should be. But that isn't how it is! So the fact that her daughter is one of the few people that see the person not the disability, is lovely.

How many of you can say your children would do the same? I know I, even at 20 would have probably mentioned her disability instead of seeing past it like this daughter.

I can say my children would do the same. They have done the same.DS2 was 5 when he became friends with a little girl who couldn't walk very well,was deaf and had language delay. He used to talk about her all the time. I knew nothing about her other than what he said because he went to school on the bus. It was only when I spoke to her dad about him going on a play date that I knew she was disabled. But she was just X to him, his friend that is all, the same as the rest of his friends.

OP I am glad you shared the story. I've had a generally crappy day and it brought in a bit of sunshine for me.

Just because it should be like that doesn't mean it is.
people would be disappointed if their kids pointed out the disability but the OP can't be proud her dd?
I wish more people were like the OPe dd and saw people, not the disability.

I agree with everlong

My dd was friends with a girl with a learning disabilty on holiday this year and the mum kept praising her for being lovely and telling me how wonderfull she was. I was also a bit about it as its just as it should be. No credit for being nice in my house im afraid.

it's nice to hear your DD has a good friend too after being bullied.

The praise isn't for being nice it's for not seeing a disability as being particularly noteworthy.

So we can be disappointed if our children show signs of prejudice but not proud if they don't? What happened to praising their good points?!
I got it OP - good on your daughter and good on you. I like to hear people being proud of their children. It sure beats all those children whose parents don't/can't tell them how proud they are.

You're welcome secondsop it's made me smile a lot today too.