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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be beside myself with pride over this?

398 replies

trumpeter · 08/09/2012 17:03

Had to share, I'm prob being very pfb but I have been bowled over by dd today.
After a bout of bullying at school then a period of 3 - 6 months with no 'real' friends, dd (15) has been talking about a girl she's met at school who she's became close with. She's been talking about her CONSTANTLY for about 3 or 4 weeks, she's 'great fun, a good laugh, really friendly, not bitchy like all the other girls etc'. I feel like I know this girl inside out already, and we didn't meet until last night when dd asked if she could come round for pizza, a film and stay the night. I was really looking forward to meeting her. So, to cut to the chase, this girl, who is indeed just lovely showed up about 6pm last night, came in, said hello etc then they disappeared off to the room. I left them to it. This morning they came down in their jammies and to my surprise (and don't ask me why I was surprised) I noticed that my dd's new pal is an amputee, she has no right arm below the elbow. I immediately asked her what had happened and she told me she had been in an accident as a baby. Anyway, they ate, lounged about and then her mum picked her up. I asked dd why she hadn't mentioned it before and she simpy said, 'why would I?' while looking at me with a perplexed look. I honestly don't think I've loved her more. Just thought I would share, AIBU to be bursting with pride about my dd's nonchalance about something I'd imagine lots of teen would be awkward about?

OP posts:
Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 19:17

God, do you lot have teenagers? Some of the kids at my dd's school won't hang out with you if you don't have the right bloody trainers! I'm not proud that she's pals with this girl, I'm proud that she didn't think her not having an arm was a talking point. There's a difference, and I found it refreshing. God, you're a cynical lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 19:18

x post eleanor Smile

OP posts:
BehindLockNumberNine · 08/09/2012 19:19

I don't think the OP is proud that her dd has befriended someone with a disability. I think she is proud that her dd had not thought the disability was mentionworthy. As in the OPs dd does not see the disability hence had not mentioned it to her mum as it was not important. I think that is what the thread is about - not a 'my dd is so nice she has befriended a girl dispite her disability'.

OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 08/09/2012 19:20

Actually, trumpeter, I was going to say something like "God, do you lot have teenagers" myself, but was going to add, "if they like someone, they like them and it doesn't matter at all if they're different in any way."

Smellslikecatspee · 08/09/2012 19:20

???

She happy & proud because her daughter unlike so many now days is 'judging' her friend on her personality not being shallow and going on looks alone.

To her daughter it's a yea and ?

As it should be

SecretNutellaMedallist · 08/09/2012 19:20

exactly as Eleanor said.

Her DD's attitude is one that everyone should be aiming for.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/09/2012 19:21

I got it, OP.

Dawndonna · 08/09/2012 19:21

What a lovely daughter you have, Trumpeter.

Bluegingham · 08/09/2012 19:29

I wasnt suggesting for a second that disability made someone more or less friendworthy! What a strange extrapolation from my post!
In response to Everlong, whom I'd quoted, being black or Asian isn't a disability - in black and Asian families and communities for example, being black and Asian is the norm (obviously!) but there are no communities where a disability is the norm. And that's the point - the OP's daughter wasn't phased by "different" when she quite easily could have been, especially at an age when peer pressure and the need for 'same' is at its strongest.
OP, you're doing a great job. X x

everlong · 08/09/2012 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBeagleEyes · 08/09/2012 19:34

I got it too Op.
I was about to post what Eleanor said and others after her.
It seems your daughter doesn't even 'see' the disability, she just see's a good friend.

mumofjust1 · 08/09/2012 19:35

I have a teenager - she's 13 - and she would act the same way as the op's daughter has.

I wouldn't be "beside myself with pride" just because my dd had done something like this. Its like being proud that your dc's say please and thank you. Something that just is. And unless you were suprised that your dc had done something why would you be so proud and have to tell the world (or post on here)?

Why would you be suprised that that they had done something you've taught them is right and kind?

Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 19:36

everlong you clearly don't get the point of this at all, seeing as my 'moment's thought' doesn't even come into it! Hmm

OP posts:
Bluegingham · 08/09/2012 19:37

Gosh what a lot of bonfire pissing.

BoomerGold · 08/09/2012 19:38

...and it's gone all wonky again.

everlong · 08/09/2012 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 08/09/2012 19:39

Why are people so desperate for a bunfight? Take it as it is! Stop reading things that aren't there!

OP - I get it. It's really nice. Smile

cinnamonnut · 08/09/2012 19:39

YANBU at all OP, ignore the bonfire pissing.

everlong · 08/09/2012 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moominsarescary · 08/09/2012 19:41

I understand where your coming from op yanbu

GhostShip · 08/09/2012 19:42

OP ignore people on here.

I think it's nice that your daughter has that attitude, it's refreshing.

squoosh · 08/09/2012 19:44

I think people are being snippy for the sake of it. Hmm

God forbid you take pride in your daughter going from being a bullying victim to being friendless to making a great friend and being oblivious to said friend's disability.

You've obviously done a good job. I'm sure there are lots of teenagers whose reaction to disability would be very different to your daughter's.

SecretNutellaMedallist · 08/09/2012 19:45

you don't have to be surprised to be proud.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 08/09/2012 19:47

OP, I completely "get" what you are saying. You should be proud, DD sounds lovely. Ignore the "desperate to be controversial/desperate for a bunfight/desperate to bring down the good mood brigade!".

LydiasMiletus · 08/09/2012 19:47

Omg some people can't stand anyone to be proud of their kids.
The OP isn't saying 'isn't my dd great for allowing a disabled person be her friend'
She is saying she is proud that her dd didn't give it a second thought, she didn't feel the need to mention it as its a non issue.
Which tbh, when we live in such a materialistic world is great.
Some people just like to put others down, which says more about them than you OP.