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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be beside myself with pride over this?

398 replies

trumpeter · 08/09/2012 17:03

Had to share, I'm prob being very pfb but I have been bowled over by dd today.
After a bout of bullying at school then a period of 3 - 6 months with no 'real' friends, dd (15) has been talking about a girl she's met at school who she's became close with. She's been talking about her CONSTANTLY for about 3 or 4 weeks, she's 'great fun, a good laugh, really friendly, not bitchy like all the other girls etc'. I feel like I know this girl inside out already, and we didn't meet until last night when dd asked if she could come round for pizza, a film and stay the night. I was really looking forward to meeting her. So, to cut to the chase, this girl, who is indeed just lovely showed up about 6pm last night, came in, said hello etc then they disappeared off to the room. I left them to it. This morning they came down in their jammies and to my surprise (and don't ask me why I was surprised) I noticed that my dd's new pal is an amputee, she has no right arm below the elbow. I immediately asked her what had happened and she told me she had been in an accident as a baby. Anyway, they ate, lounged about and then her mum picked her up. I asked dd why she hadn't mentioned it before and she simpy said, 'why would I?' while looking at me with a perplexed look. I honestly don't think I've loved her more. Just thought I would share, AIBU to be bursting with pride about my dd's nonchalance about something I'd imagine lots of teen would be awkward about?

OP posts:
MyOrangeDogShitsGoldMoney · 08/09/2012 20:32

Of course you can be proud of her OP, she sounds lovely.

I'm really pleased she has found such a lovely friend.

Ignore the snippy-ness, you don't have to justify your post for goodness sake, no one does. There must be something in the air at the moment, I started a thread the other day because I found out an old friend had died the night before, I was asked what the point of my op was. Hmm

You sound like you have a great relationship, gush as much as you want!

Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 20:39

Oh myorange that is just not nice at all. I do worry for the children of some mumsnetters, some are so cold! Their kids will no doubt be starting threads on here about horrid relationships with their DMs in the future!

OP posts:
everlong · 08/09/2012 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 20:47

Good for you everlong and my last post was meant to be lighthearted.

OP posts:
GColdtimer · 08/09/2012 20:50

Orange were you the poster with the friend who died of HIV? I saw that but was too tired to post in support but thought some of the responses were so odd.

I got your point op. and if your dd has been the victim of bullying I can also understand you have seen the worst side of teenage nature.

As an aside, my dh is 42. He has a facial birthmark. I overheard one of dd's friends describing him the other day to someone in another class and they said "you know, the one who is amazing on the guitar". He was so chuffed it wasn't his birthmark that was his defining feature for once.

Emmielu · 08/09/2012 20:50

Op yanbu to be so proud! I was blown away by your post. That's one heck of a wonderful, accepting daughter you have there!

Emmielu · 08/09/2012 20:55

And ignore the grouchy people on here. You go and be proud of your DD for loving her friend for the person she is! I know I'd be very proud if my DD was the same at that age.

FizzyLaces · 08/09/2012 20:56

What a lovely girl. Lucky you, you have a great kid :) My DP has a pal with one arm and didn't tell me either! It made me Grin a bit too.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 08/09/2012 20:57

I get your post. It's bloody obvious. You're proud because she didn't even see the disability, that she didn't mention it and that has made a lovely new friend after having had problems. I think back to myself at 15 - "Mum, I've got a new friend. Guess what, she's only got one arm, she lost it when she was a baby," blah blah blah. I am not criticising my teenage self at all - it wouldn't have stopped me being friends with the other girl, but I would certainly have mentioned it.

Some people were born to be offended and want to fight :)

dementedma · 08/09/2012 20:59

Your dd sounds lovely OP though I must admit to being a bit surprised you asked the girl what had happened to her arm. But I think you are right to praise good qualities - why ever not?
When did was in reception she made friends with T from Burma. T was getting some racist hassle and dd came home furious. She said to me " they are so stupid. If you turned me and T inside out we would both be exactly the same!"

Portofino · 08/09/2012 20:59

Hmm. I think your dd made friends with someone, Not newsworthy, Hey my dd made friends with some who is an amputee but is so lovely she didn't mention it . But YOU have to mention it. Why should it matter?

squoosh · 08/09/2012 21:02

I think part of trumpeters pride also comes from seeing her daughter who has been friendless for months having a bff, having sleep overs, doing normal teenage stuff. I'm sure it's a huge relief.

JodieHarsh · 08/09/2012 21:02

FFS. How people can claim not to see what the OP was proud about is beyond me. What a triumph of twisting everything so as to come out on top reeking of sanctimony and wearing a pair of pants made out of back issues of the Guardian.

Hate crime for disabilities is ON THE INCREASE. Disabled people are pointed at in the street. They are laughed at and treated as freaks.

Do you remember the children's BBC presenter with one arm? She received frequent letters from parents complaining the sight of her was distressing to their children.

Thank Christ, the same cannot, largely speaking, be said for people from ethnic minorities. To ask the OP if she would feel equally as proud if her daughter had an Asian friend is WILFULLY absurd.

MyOrangeDogShitsGoldMoney · 08/09/2012 21:03

I am Twofolds, most people were lovely though.

OP, there's nothing wrong with feeling proud of her of course there isn't.

I think it's just one of those things with the written word, everyone interprets what you say in their own way. It can't be helped sometimes.

Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 21:05

JodieHarsh you make some very valid and important points. And I howled at the Guardian pants.

OP posts:
Portofino · 08/09/2012 21:06

The Op.s dd is being made out as someow special for befriending this girl though.

CalamityKate · 08/09/2012 21:07

Oh FGS some people are just really bloody horrible aren't they?!

OP I completely get you. Ignore the misery guts posters. I'd be proud of her too x

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 08/09/2012 21:08

Jodie, where can I get some of these Guardian pants?

CalamityKate · 08/09/2012 21:08

She is NOT being made out to be special for befriending the girl! That's not it at ALL.

squoosh · 08/09/2012 21:10

Well said Jodie. The fact people are being arsey about this is so boring.

everlong · 08/09/2012 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 08/09/2012 21:11

Classic example from everlong.

Sorry, but it's true.

Original poster
trumpeter · 08/09/2012 21:11

Oh everlong if you don't get it, let it go, how many times do you need to be explained to?! Ffs

OP posts:
Portofino · 08/09/2012 21:12

Exactly, everlong.

squoosh · 08/09/2012 21:12

It's not the befriending, it's the fact that her disability was such a non issue that it wasn't even worthy of a mention. Are people being deliberately obtuse?

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