To leave an 11 and 13 year old home alone over night?

[MrsKLemon]

I have a huge dilema. I have an overnight thing to go to which I thought was next friday. I'd arranged babysitters. Now I realise it's tonight. I can't get out of it without it causing a huge load of trouble and my babysitter is away this week. There is nobody else to lool after them.

They have been left home alone lots in the past, necessity as a working single mum. They are both happy left alone. They both have mobile phones. There are two house phones (upstairs and downstairs), they know the safety rules (no answering the door, telephone, no using kitchen appliances etc) and they have in the past been left home alone until 2am (accidental, car break down) and when I got home they were both fast asleep in bed. No problems.

It's a one off. AIBU to leave them alone all night? I have spoken to them about it, they're absolutely fine with it. I would have to leave at 6pm tonight and will be home about 8am.

Please don't flame me, just in a huge pickle here and looking for advice, not argument.

I've had people raise their eyebrows at my 11yo letting himself in after school and being home alone for an hour, OP.

I feel your pain.

Can the 13yo come with you? Might be a bit of an adventure.

Ha ha, its an horrendous noise when a ceiling falls down isn't it? The kitchen was a massive mass of concrete dust.

All I am saying is stuff does happen. It might be unlikely but it does.

Jenai as to what difference it would make - well, depends if anyone was in the bathroom (that's the floor that fell in) or in the kitchen at the time the ceiling came down. We all laugh about it now but actually its lucky no one was in either of those rooms at the time. Had I been 13 and on my own with no one in a reasonable distance to call and if either me or my brother had been hurt - that is a lot of responsibility for someone so young.

Just my opinion, I wouldn't do it.

Well you wouldn't go up the Falklands, would you Hully?

I think 13 is fine to be left tbh.

Can't whoever is looking after your 11 year old watch your 13 year old too.

Surely your employers would understand? What would you do if one of them was ill, you wouldn't be able to go then anyway?

oh god leave the 13 yr old, you have already said they are sensible, fwiw i may have left both of them proving they have contact number, could knock on a neighbour in an emergency.

at 13/14 i was on my own overnight looking after my sister who is 5 yrs younger than me, mum worked nights, dad in the forces so away lots, it was fine.

my ds1 is 13 and i would have no issues leaving him overnight. ds2 needs to mature a bit but in a year or so's time it would certainly be an option i would consider.

Good that you've got one sorted OP. As you say they probably would be fine but it's the fear of the unknown that would concern me ala Tara and the dodgy ceiling .

I was left on my own without babysitters from the age of 6 - sometimes overnight
not what I would choose to do but not the end of the world either.

Kids are given so much less responsibility these days than they used to be it seems from these sort of threads.

Glad that you have pretty much sorted it OP. I still don't really get why it's such a major issue for so many. If your children are sensible and can be trusted I'm afraid I struggle to see the problem.

It's not just the OP, it's the rest of society and if the neighbours found out they would report it to the police and the OP would have loads of trouble....

Not if the child was not "at risk" - as per the link posted above.
And FFS surely the police should be dealing with REAL issues rather than a Mum who cared enough to actually think about it first.

No she wouldn't ilove - unless the child was at risk anyway.

There would NOT be loads of trouble. It is perfectly legal to leave an 11 year old and almost 14 year old over night IF there is no real risk, which there isn't. The police would do nothing, and it is not a child protection issue.

As I said upthread, when I went into hospital to have my youngest child, my three older ones were at home. They were then 15, 14 and 12. Really, they were at risk how exactly?

YABVU, 13 is too young, sensible or not.
If its over night then I'm guessing its quite a distance away. I'd drive back, who's gonna know u didn't stay in the hotel, paid for or not.

The police should concern themselves with small children rifling through bins to find themselves something to eat ilove, not 11/13 YOs stopping in their own home and in contact with their mum.

Government guidelines say children under 16 should not be left alone overnight, so maybe the OP would be in trouble.

Clipped
READ THE GUIDELINE
"if at risk"
the police will NOT waste time with such trivial issues at a time when real crime chasing is facing cuts

No, Government guidelines do not say that a child under 16 should not be left alone. The Government website quotes the NSPCC guidelines about not leaving children under 16. That is completely different. It is NSPCC guidance, not the law & not issued by the Government.

Frnak whippery yes it's not illegal unless something goes wrong.

I just read it on the guideline sheet link posted on here

It still isn't illegal mirry. If something goes wrong, that doesn't change the legality of something FFS.

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Yourchildshealthandsafety/Yourchildssafetyinthehome/DG_070594

first sentence
There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own

I am the slackest parent on the planet and not a chance in hell would I do that!.

I first left my kids at 17,15 and 9, only cos the 17 year old was very very responsible.

I am twitchy about leaving my youngest on her own next Saturday for a few hours and a short taxi ride away ( now almost 14), and am trying to call in babysitting favours for her. She won't invite mates round, but is promising herself a night of peace,juice and X factor.

I would NOT leave an 11 year old and 13 year old overnight.Too young, and I would never relax for worrying.

All of saying that you wouldn't leave your almost 14 year old on their own - do you let them take public transport on their own, be away from the home for several hours (not school) etc? Or do you drive them everywhere, know where they are at all times and check on them hourly?