To leave an 11 and 13 year old home alone over night?

[MrsKLemon]

I have a huge dilema. I have an overnight thing to go to which I thought was next friday. I'd arranged babysitters. Now I realise it's tonight. I can't get out of it without it causing a huge load of trouble and my babysitter is away this week. There is nobody else to lool after them.

They have been left home alone lots in the past, necessity as a working single mum. They are both happy left alone. They both have mobile phones. There are two house phones (upstairs and downstairs), they know the safety rules (no answering the door, telephone, no using kitchen appliances etc) and they have in the past been left home alone until 2am (accidental, car break down) and when I got home they were both fast asleep in bed. No problems.

It's a one off. AIBU to leave them alone all night? I have spoken to them about it, they're absolutely fine with it. I would have to leave at 6pm tonight and will be home about 8am.

Please don't flame me, just in a huge pickle here and looking for advice, not argument.

YABU, there is no way I would do this.

However I have the experience of being left alone when I was 12 for a few hours at night time. I was a very sensible 12 year old and we were burgled so I couldn't have controlled it.

Can't you take them with you and stay in a hotel?

"I'll be in the shit if I pull out this late " ...

Ok that's fine then , rather not be "in the shit " and have children's safety at risk ! ?

Can't they spend the night over at a friend's house? I think leaving them alone they would probably be okay, but what would you do if they weren't? I think 11 is definately too young to spend the night alone, I suppose it depends on the 13 year old. At 13 I would have been able to look after myself and my little sister, for a long evening, but I think overnight is a bit too long. I'm sorry you are in this position, I hope it works out for you, one way or the other.

Sure it is illegal to leave overnight if under 16. Illegal to leave an under 16 year old with a child overnight.

No chance. No job event is worth more than my children's health and wellbeing.

amck - not necessarily re: the scouts; obviously there would be a leader 'on call' but Patrols can go off camping on their own, unless the rules have changed significantly recently.

could you bring them with you to the hotel. i think they would be far more bored in a hotel room though........

I hardly think the children's safety is at risk FGS.

No, I think they are too young to be left alone all night.

Is it possible for you to get a taxi back from the event so you just leave them during the evening? Or, as others have suggested, let them stay where you'll be sleeping so they are not alone all night.

It is not illegal.

Have you even spoken to anyone at work about this? I can't imagine any circumstance where I would make a member of my staff feel like they were "in the shit" because of childcare issues (especially for a social function). (In fact I think I'd be quite concerned if I knew someone was doing this.)

Speak to your manager now while they may still be able to cancel your place or get someone else to fill it.

I agree with the others, can u either book a Travelodge nearby that you go back to, or ask a neighbour to be "on duty". Do you have no family or friends who coud have them?

It's very telling that the OP hasn't confirmed what the booty call oddly timed function is

maybe just our group then Ragwort, but for the 14 and unders they walk on their own and camp overnight but are tailed by a leader who camps nearby. After 15 I think there is a different process - mine are 12 and 11 so I don't know what that is yet.

Surely whoever has organised the mystery event would completely understand? I highly doubt they'd expect you to leave your children alone all night instead of cancelling.

Quite how would you be 'in the shit'?

That said if you've left them till 2am I don't think leaving them all night is thaT different. But I wouldn't do the 2ak one and I know in your case it wasn't planned that way :)

too young.

I would try and send them on overnight visit to someone else, if necessary split them up.

My sister has left her 14 year old in charge of her 10 year old, but only with an aunt across the way, and grandma nearby, both of whom could have been alerted.

What do people think is going to happen exactly?

Sure some sibs fight, some teens are prone to setting fire to things... but others don't.

I honestly think that as long as they are happy enough and you trust them, it will be OK. I would trust my own almost 12yo, but wouldn't leave him alone for too long as he'd get lonely. As there are two of them as I assume they get on, loneliness shouldn't be an issue.

There are other 11/12 yos that I wouldn't trust for half an hour, mind.

They're too young to be left without adult supervision overnight. I couldn't do it.

I think if it was something you (op) were comfortable with, you wouldn't have needed to post to ask for opinioins. You're obviously not sure so I would say, if you have any doubt at all, don't leave them.

My mistake, thought it was. So basically children don't need child care provision! I wouldn't do it, but each to their own.

JenaiMarr, I'd just be afraid my normally brave kids would feel nervous and alone at night if they couldn't sleep. But I am not judging op.

OP, could you bring them with you to the hotel and leave them with a dvd player, books, phones etc....?

The 13yo on their own maybe but to leave them responsible for a younger sibling is a bit too much. Could they not go to a neighbour or to stay at friends houses? My 11yo can be left for an evening but wouldn't leave him overnight even with a 13yo.

I'm with Jenai. My two, 15 and 14, are extremely sensible. They'd be fine for a night.

yabu don't do it, and your employer will have to understand, tell them you've been let down by arranged childcare, how would you feel if you left them and something happened?